Category: Change Your Life

Try a New Way of Thinking Instead of Making New Year’s Resolutions

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.” – Marianne Williamson

Years ago, when I was brainstorming the name of my business, Neways Center, I wanted it to reflect how we master a new way of thinking before we can create real change in our lives. After all, if the old way of thinking was working, you wouldn’t be looking for a change, would you?

I’ve noticed that people often use the New Year as a “when” moment…“When the calendar starts over, I can start over” type of thinking. It’s not a bad thing to use the calendar to renew your sense of purpose, determination and hope. However, keep in mind that dates come and go; real hallmarks in our lives occur as events. And events are the culmination of a series of baby steps that get you to a certain place, when you’re ready for it.

That the key to this new way of thinking: change doesn’t happen until you are prepared and ready for it!

How do you create a new way of thinking that results in real change? Here are three ways you can cultivate this new way of thinking in terms of hallmark events in your life that create sustainable shifts.

1. Schedule retreats not vacations. When you spend time and money booking a hotel room and traveling to a new location, you open up your mind to creatively think in a new way. It breaks you out of your routine, so you can try out being a new way, to see if it’s the right fit for you.

Rather than spending that time overeating, overdrinking and mindlessly “vegging out”, make them into self-renewal retreats. Go somewhere with minimal distractions, so your mind clears and you have time to reconnect with your mind, body and spirit. (You can read about our 2018 “Women, Wisdom & Presence” retreat to see if the 2019 retreat in the Grand Canary Island is a good fit for you. Contact me for details if you’re interested.)

Wherever you choose to go, take a journal and write down all the things you love about yourself and your life. Then reflect on what you can do to bring yourself more in harmony with your mission or purpose in life.

2. Build a supportive community. In life, we often get thrown together with people we wouldn’t choose as close companions. Adopt a new way of thinking about those you associate with…in person, online, or even through the entertainment you choose. Commit to seeking out and spending more time with only those that lift you up, challenge you, and support you in becoming your best you.

Plan a monthly event with a friend that supports your new way of thinking, one that prepares you to be in the right emotional, mental and spiritual space for enhancing your potential.

Schedule a set day and time for weekly phone calls to celebrate your wins.
Go all out and dress up for a self-renewal dinner, only ordering items that make you feel good.
Attend a live event together.
Exercise together.
Regularly share themed photos on Instagram that keep you inspired.
Explore new locations, new skills, or new experiences together.

3. Mindfully learn instead of judging. Resist turning situations into a way of labeling yourself as right or wrong, good or bad, smart or stupid. Start a new way of thinking: attract more positivity into your life by mindfully processing situations as learning experiences, without passing judgment.

You are the sum of years of experiences. Respect them as a part of your journey and use them as stepping stones to the future you want. Change your way of thinking so they don’t hang as weights around your neck. Be grateful for the person you are today. You are strong! You are enough! You don’t have to be like anyone else. You don’t need to “change” who you are.

Like a diamond, we are all simply in the process of smoothing out the rough spots so we can let our unique brilliance shine through. For diamonds to sparkle, they need light. You can shine light on yourself by creating a sacred space for reflection. Here are seven suggestions to get you started:

Make a daily practice of walking in nature.
Incorporate breathing breaks throughout the day.
Light a candle, sit in a comfy position, and set one intention you want to model right now in your life. Examine that intention from all angles (how you see yourself, how others will see you, how it affects your business presence, etc) and fully visualize how it empowers you.
Invite a trusted friend on one of your retreats, so you can process out loud.
Specifically ask that friend what they admire about you.
Think back over the past year. Visualize where you started and how far you’ve come.
Keep a running list of all of the things you’re proud of – compliments you receive, accomplishments you have, connections you make, etc.

Lasting change starts from a place of peaceful acceptance. It’s a natural, not forced, progression. Do you want to get the New Year off to a great start? Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). Together we can create a plan that fully opens up this new way of thinking for you.

My “Secrets” for Living Life Fully Can Work for You Too!

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“Excellence is the result of caring more than others think wise, risking more than other’s think safe, dreaming more than others think practical, and expecting more than others think possible.” ~ Ronnie Oldham

We are at the dawn of a new year, so it’s a wonderful time to reflect on the highlights of this past year and reassess life to make sure we’re living life fully. I love that every new day gives us opportunity to grow and change and enjoy a life of our own making.

As I have always encouraged my clients to do, I’ve also been making baby steps toward a rich, full life that keeps evolving and expanding before my eyes. I know this is happening because I’ve opened myself up to taking risks and seeing opportunities where once I would have dismissed them as impossible. For example, I’m co-hosting our second annual “Women, Wisdom & Presence” retreat in the Grand Canary Island. I am so excited!

During my year-end reflection, I’ve discovered that there are specific transformational thoughts and actions that have helped me, and my clients, firmly grasp the concept of living life fully. I’ve shared many of those with you over the last year, on my blog. To help you review these, I’ve created a roundup of them here, so you can use them as a roadmap to make sure you are living life fully in 2019. (You can use the links to read older blog posts – their information is timeless.)

Improve the quality of your life by heightening your mindful awareness of actions, thoughts, speech and emotions and how they are, or are not, serving you.
When you make daily choices, you’re just “adjusting your dials”; each dial represents family life, career, physical well-being, spirituality, recreation, etc.
Somatically connect with yourself and others to become more joyful.
Develop mental, emotional, spiritual and physical strength for you are the sum of all of your parts.
Care about what other people think, but don’t worry about it to the point you doubt yourself.
Not everyone is going to like you. Accept it!
Get out of bed a little earlier and do something truly meaningful for you.
Prepare yourself each morning to make each day special.
Take time each weekend to create a roadmap for the coming week.
Think in terms of creating life-transforming microhabits instead of “going on a diet” “getting fit” or “becoming a more effective leader.”
Organize your home and life so you’re ready to grasp a great opportunity when it comes.
Day-to-day baby steps produce huge results in time, so be patient with yourself. (If you set three daily goals every morning and achieve them, you’ll have 1,095 wins by this time next year!)
Hold on to optimism, hope and resiliency to see you though seemingly impossible situations.
Relationships are more important than expediency. Take the time to listen and express kindness, politeness and thoughtfulness.
Identify your zone of genius – the thing that you do especially well – and totally own it!
Kick fear to the curb. After all, fear is an emotional reaction that signals a new growth opportunity.
Strive for excellence, not perfection, in everything you do.
Spend time improving all aspects of your life. Health is wealth.
Love yourself, but make sure ego doesn’t take over.
Be mindfully grateful. Every night ask yourself: “What ten good things happened to me today?”
Keep a journal. Your life is worth recording.
Become skillful and make every project, every interaction, and every situation better than you found it.
Despite what you may hear from others, it’s okay to be ambitious.
Everyone can use leadership skills.
It’s a privilege to model excellence and to help others become leaders.
Leave others breathless because you pay attention to details.
Push yourself and keep the promises you make to yourself and others.
Regularly turn off your electronic devices, go outside and participate in life.
Reach out to someone who models the excellence you wish to attain.
If you aren’t doing what you love, change it so that you are.

The key to using this information to live life fully is to put it to work in your own life. I know my community is made up of courageous individuals who are up for the challenge. I’ve seen the changes you’ve made already, and I am celebrating them with you, as we close out one year and welcome in another. Join me on Facebook and share your triumphs in 2018 and your concerns for 2019. Let’s speak up and empower each other to reach greater heights together.

Learn How to Develop a Growth Mindset – The Key to Thriving in 2019

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“The discipline you learn and character you build from setting and achieving a goal can be more valuable than the achievement of the goal itself.” ~ Bo Bennett

As a new year approaches, many people are thinking about changes they want to make. Looking back to 2018, according to a YouGov poll, “the most common aspirations in the U.S. were eating healthier, getting more exercise and saving more money.” Were those on your list? Other people want to work on their productivity, their abs, or their skills, but when was the last time you heard someone say, “I want to learn how to develop a growth mindset”? And yet isn’t that the basis for all lasting change?

A growth mindset starts with making an honest self-assessment. Are you accepting the thought that “I am who I am and there’s nothing I can do about it!” as if “who you are” is set in stone? While it’s important to love yourself for who you are right now, I firmly believe that you can upgrade your life. You have the power to grow. However, before you can accomplish anything significant, your mind must believe you can.

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

Do you feel like you have abundance in your life, whether it’s money, joy, love, or health? Your habitual thoughts, whether negative or positive, lodge in your subconscious mind and shape your body, your environment, your life. What you think and talk about grows. Let’s examine four major areas of life where you can make life-altering shifts by learning how to develop a growth mindset.

1. Develop a growth mindset about money. As a child, did you see your parents struggle and fight over finances, because there was never enough? Experiences like that can feed a poverty mindset, which leads to excessive worry about money. Yet you don’t have to be poor to have a poverty mindset. If you find that your thoughts about money keep you from improving your life in some way, then it’s time for a shift to a growth mindset about money.

How? Become more aware of how often you say or think, “I can’t afford that!” Then mindfully examine the situation from another vantage point and ask, “What can I do, so that I can afford it?” And believe that you can! As Dr. David Schwartz stated in his book, The Magic of Thinking Big, “Belief, strong belief, triggers the mind to figure out ways and means how to.”

2. Strive to participate more than you watch. A growth mindset focuses on creating more than consuming. We consume, or take in, so much information and entertainment everyday from our computers, devices and TVs. Yes, it’s fun to watch the latest adorable cat video, but what is it keeping you from doing? If you’re busy watching, you aren’t participating. We’re being trained to jump from this to that and it’s ruining our ability to focus deeply.

How? Pick one day a week where you consciously turn off your devices and create and do something meaningful instead.

3. Mindfully nurture your relationships. Loving family and close friendships add richness to life. We can’t take it for granted that a relationship will wait around until “we have the time”. I love what Tony Robbins says, “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.”

How? Treat them like you actually love them – spend time with them, listen to them, be interested in them, commend them, touch them, and let them know you value them every day.

4. Develop a growth mindset that welcomes feedback. Of course, we don’t always enjoy criticism. However, if you want to improve, you need to know what to work on, and one of the best ways to find your weak spots is to get feedback from an outsider.

How? By remaining mindfully open and welcoming, you can accept feedback without taking it so personally. You know that a flaw doesn’t define you as a person. If something is holding you back from being the kind of speaker, or parent, or partner that you want to become, let go of pride and ego. Hear and act upon honest feedback.

Are you prepared to make 2019 your best year yet? Just as exercising a muscle can be painful, so can improving your mental strength. But you can make it easier on yourself. There is a natural progression for building success upon success. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype) to learn how you can develop your growth mindset in a supportive, enjoyable way.

Speak Positivity into Your Life to Master the Language of Success

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Positive Mindset.

“The words you speak become the house you live in.” ~ Attributed to Hafiz

I speak a number of languages…English, Spanish, Italian, and Positivity. Yes, Positivity is a language. It’s the universal language of success. You have to speak it, if you want to go places in this world. Even if you’ve spoken Negativity your whole life, you can learn to speak Positivity into your life!

All languages have patterns that we practice in order to master them. When you finally become fluent in the language, the new way of thinking becomes automatic and you can form real and deep connections with others who speak it. The same is true when you practice speaking Positivity. You will create great success, when you make it a practice to speak positivity into your life every day. The words you speak become self-fulfilling prophecies, so speech is an extremely powerful tool. Once you’ve said it, your brain and body believe it.

We all have our own particular pattern of speech – some people are critical faultfinders, while others are known for always building others up. Of course, at times the most positive person can speak a negative comment. But overall, what pattern of speech do you have?

Over the course of the next week, I encourage you to pay attention to the words you use so you create greater awareness of your pattern of speech. Are you speaking Positivity into your life or is Negativity your mother tongue? You might even enlist a buddy to help you, because it’s difficult to be aware of this all the time.

We become more successful in life when we learn to use positive speech effectively. As you gain greater awareness, you’re going to notice how often the tendency to be judgmental is associated with negative speech. That’s why I encourage you to learn somatic practices and to practice suspending judgment and mindfulness.

Learn to avoid blanket statements or absolute statements, because they’re judgmental in nature and aren’t helpful in developing positive speech. They appear in thoughts such as, “total disaster, complete idiot, absolute wreak, always late, or never listens to me.”

Recognize words that limit you or label you. Notice when you’re speaking whether you’re creating unwanted boundaries in your mind. These words are usually followed by the word, “so”. And we often use them as excuses. For instance, you may say, “I’m a procrastinator, so…”

More often than not, we misuse the power of speech by unconsciously sabotaging our chances of success, by convincing ourselves that something is impossible; it can’t happen. Be mindful to avoid words that breed hopelessness, fear, anxiety or negativity.

On the other hand, when you use positive language about yourself and your abilities to meet challenges you will love the outcomes you achieve. When you speak Positivity, you use language that is precise, results-oriented and builds trust.

Neuroscience has proven that you can rewire your brain to replace destructive patterns of thought, speech and behavior with more positive ones. Once you’ve noticed a manner of speech that isn’t bringing positivity into your life, make a conscious decision to replace it. This applies to the words you speak about yourself and words you speak and choose to listen to about others.

When you want positivity to grow in your life, you won’t want to give your problems or stresses more power by talking about them. Instead, focus on the good that you want to grow. If you want more influence, self-confidence, connection or opportunities, pay attention to what you’re sending out into the world each time you speak.

Also, monitor your body language as well. How you hold yourself – your posture, facial expression, and demeanor – profoundly shapes your emotions and how you speak.

Are you ready to become proficient in the language of “Positivity”? It may seem like a foreign language to you, but you can master this powerful skill. It will attract more opportunities and give you the confidence to go after and get the success you crave. I’d love to partner with you as you speak positivity into your life. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype).

Microhabits – Doable Tiny Changes That Make a Huge Difference

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

Change… you want it desperately, but at the same time it overwhelms you. How can you overcome your resistance to change? Sometimes it has to do with the size of change. If you’re willing to mindfully make tiny changes every day, you’ll obtain and surpass your wildest dreams – that’s what microhabits (some people spell it micro habits or micro-habits) are all about!

In order to make big changes in life, there are two truths we accept:

It takes time, perhaps even years, to obtain big goals. Is this a hard change for you? Then you’ve identified an area of thinking you can do some work on.
You’ll be most successful, if you perform tiny changes or microhabits when you feel fresh and strong. For many people, morning is their best time.

To get you started, here are some examples of microhabits you can use to mindfully transform your life:

Embrace rejection. If you don’t try, you’ll miss out on so many wonderful opportunities. Try this microhabit: every day reach out to someone you’d like to work with, even if you’re certain they won’t respond. You have nothing to lose, if you don’t take rejection personally.

Start living your dream now. If you dream of being a writer, your microhabit might be writing one paragraph a day. If you dream of running a marathon, your microhabit could be running an extra 1/8^th mile or 10 minutes each day. You’ll either find out that dream is not for you, or you’ll start building momentum toward living your dream.

Track your spending. Create a greater awareness of money in/money out and time in/time out. You spend a big chunk of your life acquiring money, so it’s important to spend it in a way that supports the needs and wants of your future self over current ones. A microhabit might be tracking how much you spend on takeout or coffee; or only allow yourself 1 hour of TV per week.

Conserve your resources. Rather than purchasing something new, use or repurpose something you have. A tiny change could be mix, match and accessorize your clothes in new ways, so you don’t have to buy a new outfit.

Delight in maintaining yourself. Your mind, body and spirit need to be nurtured. View these activities as delights, not as necessary evils! Healthful food (eat one more serving of veggies and drink one more glass of water), restorative sleep (go to bed ½ hour earlier), invigorating exercise (add 5 more minutes daily), continuous learning (read during lunch break) are microhabits to improving these life essentials. Why not take my 7-Point Wellness Assessment and see how you’re doing in these areas?

Control your emotions. Before reacting to a situation, a new tiny habit would be to pause and assess its affect on your emotions by asking: “Why do I feel this way?”

Create an energy-stimulating environment. Clutter causes distress to our brains. Say “No” to people and things that don’t attract good energy. A new microhabit might be unsubscribing from physical magazines or online newsletters you never read; unfollowing people on Facebook; or filing that pile of papers on your desk.

Read more – scroll less. Reading engages your brain in a way that watching TV never can. (Click here to find some of my favorite books.) When you’re tired, a new microhabit might be taking a nap or going for a walk instead of channel surfing or scrolling through social media feeds.

Push yourself. Too often, our minds hold us back. When I’m doing my CrossFit, my mind gives out before my body does. I never would have known this, if I hadn’t learned to push myself. A new microhabit could be that you force yourself to do five minutes of whatever activity you need to do, even if you don’t “feel like it!” Then five minutes more…

Act on your good ideas. There are a few seconds between coming up with a great idea and when your brain kicks in and shoots it down. Learn to assess your ideas and take action quickly. A new tiny habit could be writing all of your ideas down and finish this sentence: “This is a great idea because…”

As you review this list you probably noticed, there’s a big difference between “living for the moment” (like attacking a big bag of chips) and “living in the moment” (mindfully extracting joy from each moment, knowing it supports the change you want to make).

Why not start identifying microhabits that will make a huge difference in your life? If you’d like an accountability partner, I’d love to help! Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype).

Category: Change Your Life

Try a New Way of Thinking Instead of Making New Year’s Resolutions

My “Secrets” for Living Life Fully Can Work for You Too!

Learn How to Develop a Growth Mindset – The Key to Thriving in 2019

How to Develop a Growth Mindset

Speak Positivity into Your Life to Master the Language of Success

Microhabits – Doable Tiny Changes That Make a Huge Difference

To get you started, here are some examples of microhabits you can use to mindfully transform your life:

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