Maria Connolly, LPC

Category: Self-Leadership Skills

The ABC’s of a Life Vision: from Dreaming to Achieving

You can use these same 6 specific steps that I consistently use to turn my dreams and life vision into an exception life – I call them my Life Vision ABC’s.“Vision is the art of seeing the invisible.” ~ Jonathan Swift

Have you ever been encouraged to put your dreams “out there” and let the Universe bring them to you? That’s a common coaching practice today. While I agree there are benefits from positive thinking, achieving your life vision is not as simple as waiting for someone or something else to deliver your dreams to you on a platter.

We can’t expect things to just happen without us having to do any hard emotional or physical work to get it. Where is the self-satisfaction and self-esteem in that? We grow as we see ourselves doing what we didn’t think was possible. (Examples of a little victory and a huge victory.)

Over time, I’ve noticed that I consistently use the same specific steps to turn my life vision into reality. I call them my Life Vision ABC’s. Be sure to give yourself plenty of creative time and space to work on this project. You won’t be able to do it justice in one day.

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During Loss and Grief, Be Compassionate with Yourself

Loss and grief are strong emotions that cause us to dig deeply inside ourselves for answers to questions that define our highest purpose and meaning in lifeAfter five years of marriage, Toni learned that her husband was cheating on her and wanted a divorce. Joni kissed her husband goodbye 18 months ago, when he shipped out; today she learned he’s coming home in a coffin. Dawn had given 20 years to a job she loved, when her boss let her go, because they “have to downsize”. What do all of these people have in common? They all have feelings of great loss and grief. Whether or not they come out of it stronger or damaged will depend on how they travel through the grieving process.

Perhaps you’ve had to experience a similar situation where something you cherish has been ripped out of your hands. That pain can be unbearable and may seem like it will never go away. When this happens, please be very kind, gentle and compassionate with yourself. Your body, mind, and spirit need time to process what you’re going through and learn how to adjust to your new circumstances in life.

Even if you’ve never experienced deep loss and grief, please use this information to prepare yourself. Loss and grief will blindside you otherwise, especially if you have unresolved issues. When you have healthy systems in place before a life-altering tragedy befalls you, you will have the internal resources for coping with it in a healthier manner.

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Always Believe in Yourself

Do you always believe in yourself? When you make minor adjustments to these six senses of self, you’ll be able to bring your best to everything you do.Are you a good friend? You accept, value, and appreciate your friend for who she is. You bring out the best in her. You gently encourage her when she feels down. You believe in her even when she’s at her worst. Now, stop and think if you treat yourself that way. Do you always believe in yourself? If you’re like many women, your relationship with self may just be the hardest one for you to believe in and support.

To reach the point where you can always believe in yourself takes intentional work. It’s important to move from judging to observing yourself, from dismissing to celebrating your strengths, from criticizing to gently accepting your limitations, from motivating yourself with “I should” to staying connected with your highest purpose, and from holding back to asking for support.

No matter what stage of life you’re in, you can make minor adjustments to each of these areas and achieve tremendous results. Always believe in yourself and bring your best to everything you do by strengthening your sense of self in the following ways…

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10 Tools to Achieve Healthy Interdependence (And Why That Matters)

10 Tools to Achieve Healthy Interdependence (And Why That Matters)Americans love independence! After living in various countries, I’ve noticed that being independent is the foundation of this nation’s psyche. In the past, success was even defined as “the self-made man”. He was respected and praised for clawing his way to the top. He didn’t need anyone! It didn’t matter that it cost him his wife, his children, his community, his health.

Happily, people are paying attention to the wakeup call that independence isn’t the end of the human journey. It’s only one of the stages in the natural progression of human growth — dependence leads to independence. And the next step is healthy interdependence, for “no man is an island.” We, as humans, don’t function well in isolation. We need to be part of a community, to belong.

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Not Good Enough? Only You Can Change How You Feel. Here’s How…

When you let “I’m not good enough” drive you, you give your power away and aren’t in charge of your life, so here are tips to help you change that feeling.“We see things not as they are, but as we are.” ~ H.M. Tomlinson

I’m just not good enough” is a phrase I hear from many of my clients. Maybe they don’t use those exact words, but the feeling behind many of their roadblocks can be traced back to whether or not they feel like they measure up in their own minds or in the mind of someone else.

For example, one client said to me, “I’m not happy.” Why? “Because I worked really hard on a session for my client and she didn’t respond well at all.” Is that really your fault? “If I was a better coach, they’d love everything I do.” Is that realistic? “Maybe. Maybe, not. I just feel like I’m not good enough to be a coach.” Bingo!

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