Maria Connolly, LPC Facebook Facebook Facebook

Category: Self-Leadership Skills

How to Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations Before They Destroy Your Happiness

It takes courage to let go of unrealistic expectations, but once you identify them for what they are, as these 7 examples show, it becomes easier.Managing our expectations is one of life’s greatest challenges. Positive expectations can lead to positive results. Too often, however, we make ourselves unhappy because we have unrealistic expectations.

Unrealistic expectations can also have a ripple effect. For example, when you expect the best from someone, you’re more patient and supportive. You invest time and resources in them because you believe it’s worth it. On the other hand, when you expect the worst from someone, you downplay or dismiss their efforts. You don’t invest your emotions in them and you withhold time and attention that could help them do better.

What you expect becomes your reality, because the brain believes what you are thinking. Life is too short to let unrealistic expectations stand in the way of happiness. So from time to time it’s a good idea to assess our expectations and adjust to the way life really is, not the way you wish it to be. Because life isn’t a fairy tale where everything magically has a “happy ever after” ending.

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Are You a Perfectionist? YOUR Key to Success — Change Digital Thinking to Analog

Are you a perfectionist? Try my “Are You a Perfectionist? Not Anymore!” Exercise to expand your view of a situation so you see all possible adjustments.  “We can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved.” ~ Glennon Doyle

When was the last time you adjusted a dial? We used to dial our phones or change a radio dial to find a favorite station, but not anymore…we punch buttons. On TV, they used to say, “don’t touch that dial!” meaning don’t switch programs or you’ll miss out on something important…now we hit our remote buttons. When daylight saving time approached, we turned the clock’s dials…spring forward/fall back…now the atomic clocks do it for us. We see precise, computerized readouts everywhere. I think this has caused us to lose a valuable tool for living. It’s influenced our thinking more than we realize. In what way? Well, are you a perfectionist? If that’s your tendency, then it’s time to embrace the dial again!

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Focus on Competence: Strive for Excellence Not Perfection

Striving for excellence not perfection is like an analog clock.“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” ~ Dr. Harriet Braiker

Kathy (my client, not her real name) had an all-or-nothing attitude that was keeping her frustrated and angry. She thought in terms of extremes, in black and white. If she didn’t accomplish something perfectly, she viewed herself as a failure. And if others didn’t live up to her expectations, it was a relationship-breaker. Do you know someone like Kathy? Can you relate? It took a lot of work for her to grasp the pure magic that results when you strive for excellence not perfection. 

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Trust Yourself — 7 Ways to Listen to Your Gut Instinct & Intuition

Learn to trust yourself and kick self-doubt to the curb.

If you often fail to trust yourself, second-guessing and doubting your gut or intuition, here are 7 ways to regain an unshakeable trust in yourself.“The intuitive mind is where our genius resides.” ~ A. Artemis

Has anyone ever chided you for making decisions based on gut instinct? In today’s technological world, isn’t it an asset to be more logical, more analytical? Perhaps you feel stuck at times between following your head or your heart, because you don’t trust yourself to make the right decision. Actually, I don’t think success is dependent on being one way or the other. As complex humans, we use both! They complement each other. Never would you want to silence one of your greatest strengths – your inner voice, your sixth sense, your gut, your intuition.

While many people think intuition is only the result of the brain drawing on past experiences and external cues to make a decision on an unconscious level, there’s more going on than that. There are neurotransmitters in your actual gut that send signals to your brain. They respond to real-time environmental stimuli and emotions. When those neurotransmitters fire you feel sensations of uneasiness. Scientists are calling the gut our second brain. You can know something, without knowing how you know it. You just have to learn to trust yourself!

We often speak of women’s intuition, but men can be powerfully intuitive too. Everyone can increase their intuition or gut instinct.

Here are seven ways you can learn to trust yourself by mindfully enhancing your logical side with your intuitive side…

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How to Have a Happy Life Even When Things Are Falling Apart

How can we have a happy life when we’re experiencing so much hardship right now?

Learn five mindfulness practices that help you create a happy life by seeing the good around you, appreciating each moment and controlling your reactions.“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” Omar Khayyam

Life takes us on an emotional ride, doesn’t it? One minute you’re on the top of the world, the next, you’re crashing down. Since happiness depends on your emotional response to life’s changing tide, it’s no wonder our happiness is taking a major hit right now. But the good news is that there’s something you can do to elevate your happiness, even during stressful times. 

When you know a surprisingly simple technique, your highs and lows of life won’t be so drastic. You’ll be able to maintain an even keel despite life’s storms. After all, a happy life is created from within.

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