Maria Connolly, LPC
If you’re prone to overthinking a thing so much that you can’t make a decision, then this is for you! Whether you call it decision fatigue, decision exhaustion, or analysis paralysis, overcoming it is not a problem of “being smart enough”. Rather, it’s a symptom of not “hearing” your body’s wisdom. In fact, you won’t be overcoming decision fatigue until you resolve the disconnect between your mind and body!
“By today’s definition, self-esteem is a noun, a thing. I am purposefully removing the hyphen, so that self esteem in women becomes the action it deserves to be — we women actively valuing ourselves, not only what we achieve, but more importantly who we are being.” ~ Maria Connolly
Self esteem in women doesn’t always look like insecurity. In fact, it often hides behind impressive résumés, packed calendars, and relentless competence. Many high-achieving women have learned how to succeed in nearly every area of life, yet still carry an underlying feeling that we must constantly prove our value. The question isn’t whether we’re capable. The question is why our worth still feels conditional.
Too often, we find ourselves in a situation where our “go along to get along” part takes over before we’re even aware of it. For example, Leigh noticed this happening halfway through a meeting.
A proposal had just been presented. Heads around the table nodded in agreement. The conversation moved quickly, and before she fully realized what was happening, she was nodding, too.
“Sounds good,” she heard herself say. The moment passed. The conversation moved on. But something in her body tightened. Because if she was honest, she wasn’t actually sure it did sound good. There was something about the plan that didn’t sit quite right with her. A detail that hadn’t been fully thought through. A question she hadn’t asked yet.
Later that afternoon, Leigh found herself replaying the moment. Why didn’t I say anything?
Auto-accommodating is an unconscious, compulsive habit of managing, fixing, or adjusting to the emotions and needs of people around you to avoid conflict or ensure your own safety and peace.
I’ve discovered during the past 20 years… something about brilliant, professional women. There’s a pattern that quietly follows these capable, thoughtful women through their lives.
Wanting to feed your ambition comes with a complicated emotional landscape, especially if you’re a woman. I believe what Anthony Trollope said, “It is a grand thing to rise in the world. The ambition to do so is the very salt of the earth.” Yet that ambition can feel surprisingly conflicted.
You may feel a deep pull to grow, lead, create something meaningful, or expand your influence. At the same time, you notice hesitation and doubts creeping in. Will people think I’m too much? Am I ready for this level of responsibility? What if I fail?