Maria Connolly, LPC
If the words “grateful” and “thankful” were colors, in the shade of red, which would be the darker, richer red? Many of us use those words interchangeably. They are closely related. But there are fundamental differences between the two. Understanding the difference between thankful and grateful will deepen and enrich your mindfulness practices.
Sometimes, we want something to work so badly we end up overextending ourselves almost to the point of breaking. Some people call it bending over backward for someone. You’ve been there, right? At the time, the situation seems to demand that you keep giving just to maintain a semblance of peace.
Part of being human is going through different phases of life. As children, we’re dependent on our parents. Then in the adolescent years, we push for a more autonomous position. Then finally as adults, we learn to become interdependent.
However, whether by nature or nurture, a person may not fully evolve as he or she has the potential to do. Because our society values independence to a fault, often individuals aren’t taught or don’t learn skills to develop interdependent relationships.
We’ve all experienced it — that crushing, heart-wrenching, stomach-churning, bitter sensation when someone disappoints us. Perhaps the pain is even worse when it’s you disappointing others because you’re also disappointing yourself.
When we intensely want something we think about it, dream about it, and make detailed plans for it until we can taste it and see it like it’s already happened. And when these hopes and expectations go unfulfilled, that disappointment makes us bereft, drained and deflated. We feel like such a failure.
It’s no wonder we do our best to avoid putting this emotional pain upon ourselves or others. Too often we make unwise decisions or hold back from stepping forward because we’re driven by this thought —“I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
Do you want to feel powerful and successful in your life? Then build meaningful relationships with others who are committed to the same goals. If you want to thrive, surround yourself with people who are better at whatever you aspire to do! They can give you advice, guidance, and practical examples for living the kind of life and choices you want.
People who know and care about you are your greatest teachers. They’re your role models and your most truthful mirrors. They’ll be the ones you turn to when you’re confused, need help, and feel emotionally fragile. These “low” times will occur in your life, and if you only have “fair-weather friends” the low times will be hard to take.
You are only as strong as your support network. And as Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”