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Category: Healthy Relationships

How to Relate WITH Others — Healthy Love Relationships Master This Skill

Learning how to relate with others becomes easier when you follow these steps to forming,maintaining and enjoying a long-lasting love relationship.Like peanut butter and jelly or boots and sweaters, some things naturally go together. When you met the love of your life, you just knew the two of you belonged together. You wanted it to last forever. Yet in the day-to-day realities of life, the spark and sparkle may have grown a little dim, maybe you don’t think you’ll ever get the luster back again. This is when fortifying your skills on how to relate with others can help.

Did you notice I put the emphasis on relating with not relating to? Relating to others puts the emphasis on you in relation to them. Relating with others puts the emphasis on them.

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15 Lessons to be Learned from Life Challenges in Your Path to Self-Discovery

Every experience in life provides you with invaluable information, if you listen carefully for the lessons to be learned. Here’s how to do it.“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” ~ Bernice Johnson Reagon

Every challenging experience in life provides you with invaluable information, if you’re attuned to hearing the lessons to be learned. I realize that some of them may be very painful, so you resist them initially. But don’t make the mistake of pushing them away. Instead, if it today’s life lesson feels like too much to process, I urge you to journal about your experiences as they happen, so you can revisit them later to glean the lessons hiding within.

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Compassionate Listening Heals Those Who Speak and Who Listen

Compassionate listening helps heal the one speaking and the one listening,  bearing witness to their pain, their story, forming a bond of understanding.“Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” ~ Krista Tippett

After the Alameda fire devastated our beautiful Rogue Valley on September 8th, I wanted to help beyond Go-Fund-Me and food/clothing donations. My search was rewarded when I attended a training on compassionate listening organized by the Hearth Community in Ashland. It reaffirmed to me the intense and healing power in the act of compassionate listening, when we engage both our ears and our hearts.

During the training we listened to each other – we got to bring to life all of our emotions in a healing circle. As each person spoke, we all felt safer and stronger as a community. That’s the power of gathering together for compassionate listening.

As I go through each day now, I listen for the many stories about what happened on September 8. One in particular stands out to me, and I’d love to share her story with you —

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Unlearn the Lessons of a Toxic Childhood — You Deserve to be Loved!

A toxic childhood teaches you many unhealthful and unhelpful lessons; and it fails to teach you the most valuable lesson — that you’re worthy of love. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ~ Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Do you think that love always comes with strings attached? That if someone is a winner then you’re a loser? That you need to placate everyone? That being neglected or abused verbally or physically is normal and you make excuses for it? That emotions make you vulnerable and weak? That it’s better to feel nothing? That you’re on your own?

Then it’s highly likely you’ve learned “lessons” from a toxic childhood that are neither healthful nor accurate. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the neglect and abuse you suffered in your toxic childhood. You didn’t deserve to be ignored for days on end. You didn’t deserve the belittling and constant criticism. You were not to blame.

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9 Ways for Staying Connected and Socially Close While Physically Distancing

Social distancing is out! “Staying connected and socially close while physical distancing” is in! This puts the emphasis on a positive and healthy message.“The world is so empty if one thinks only of mountains, rivers & cities; but to know someone who thinks & feels with us, & who, though distant, is close to us in spirit, this makes the earth for us an inhabited garden.” ~ Goethe

Social distancing…I’ve come to dislike this term. I understand that physical distancing shows care for my neighbors during this pandemic. I want them to feel comfortably safe, when I encounter them at the store or elsewhere. That requires physical distancing, not social distancing. I don’t have to rush past them, never acknowledging their existence. Just making eye contact and smiling is important. After all, they may not see my smile behind my mask, but they’ll see it in my eyes.

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