Maria Connolly, LPC
Many high-achieving women spend enormous amounts of energy caring for everyone and everything around them while quietly starving themselves of the very things that help them feel grounded, connected, and alive. We learn to survive on emotional depletion. But we can’t do that for long. Our inner life needs regular nourishment. And we get that from micro-practices that ground and sustain us.
For a long time, I treated my body like something that needed to keep up with my life. Like many highly-motivated women, I pushed through exhaustion, ignored stress signals, skipped meals when I was busy, and reached for whatever was quick and comforting when my energy crashed. I told myself I was “fine” because I was functioning. Productive. Capable. Getting things done. But I have to admit I wasn’t experiencing optimal health and well-being.
Because beneath that outward competence, my body was trying to get my attention. I just hadn’t learned how to listen yet.
Hardworking. Focused. Clawing your way to the top. Breaking ceilings. Fighting for your place in the sun. This is how success is often defined for women. Everything else? A distraction. There’s no time for anything but what matters. And certainly no time for something as frivolous as fun. But what if that’s exactly where we’ve misunderstood something essential? What if delight is not a distraction from your power, but a vital part of it?
Too often, we find ourselves in a situation where our “go along to get along” part takes over before we’re even aware of it. For example, Leigh noticed this happening halfway through a meeting.
A proposal had just been presented. Heads around the table nodded in agreement. The conversation moved quickly, and before she fully realized what was happening, she was nodding, too.
“Sounds good,” she heard herself say. The moment passed. The conversation moved on. But something in her body tightened. Because if she was honest, she wasn’t actually sure it did sound good. There was something about the plan that didn’t sit quite right with her. A detail that hadn’t been fully thought through. A question she hadn’t asked yet.
Later that afternoon, Leigh found herself replaying the moment. Why didn’t I say anything?
She burst into tears in the grocery store parking lot. Nothing dramatic had happened. No bad phone call. Just one more headline. One more unexpected expense. One more decision. “It feels like everything’s working against me. Even my body!” Ellen said. “I feel flat and completely exhausted.” If that sounds familiar, please hear this first: there is nothing wrong with you. What you may be experiencing is collective stress, the accumulated strain of living in uncertain times where the pressure is not just personal, but cultural, economic, and relational. Yes, your nervous system is activated, but you can learn to work WITH your body, to not only cope, but thrive.