Category: Change Your Life

Change Your Thinking Change Your Life with 4 Favorite NLP Techniques

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, NLP.

"The brain can be developed just the same as the muscles can be developed, if one will only take the pains to train the mind to think." ~ Thomas A. Edison

You think you don’t deserve it. You think you can’t do it. You think taking charge is for someone more experienced. You think someone else can do it better. You think small. You think too much! Sound familiar? You’re not alone! The only thing that keeps us from attaining our dream is our own thought process, so it’s time to change your thinking change your life.

Especially as women, we can be our own worst enemy. While gender is still a factor in whether a person is viewed as an influential leader or not, we can’t use that as an excuse any longer. The business world is changing and women are proving to be very effective as leaders.

Yes, the battlefield has moved from the boardroom into your subconscious mind. You tell yourself you want one thing, but your unconscious mind wants something else. This creates serious roadblocks that seem insurmountable. The good news is that Neuro-Linguistic Programming can help you change your thinking and ultimately change your life.

You are an emotional, thinking, physical and spiritual human being. All these Parts are intertwined and inseparable. Your thoughts influence your emotions, which are experienced and stored in your body and manifested through body sensations. If there is a disruption in one Part, or there is a miscommunication between Parts, you will be conflicted and your thinking will become distorted.

If you’re feeling heavy you may be experiencing sadness. Shame feels shrunken and withdrawn. Reflect on how anger makes you feels hot and stormy, while excitement feels energizing. Emotions live inside your body, changing your physical experience can cause you to believe and act in specific ways. One moment you’re happy (emotion) on top of the world, so you’re feeling spacious and light in the chest (body sensations). Then something happens to make you feel anxious (emotion). It feels like your world is caving in, your shoulders slump and you feel deflated and dull (body sensations).

By changing your physiology, you can alleviate these body sensations and alter your emotional experience. For example, if you feel shy and uncertain, you’ll gain a little more confidence by breathing deeply, softening and straightening your spine, lifting your head and looking people in the eye. The more you practice this, the more confidence will become your natural state. You can actually reshape your thoughts and emotions just as surely as you can reshape your body through exercise, thereby creating a harmonious mind body connection.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming can help you tune into your emotions and identify each sensation as you experience it. When you honor the messages that your body is sending you, you won’t try to override them or dismiss them. Instead you’ll be able to suspend judgment and simply become an observer of them. In this way you can accept them for what they are and change what isn’t serving you.

Here are four of my favorite NLP techniques you can use to gain mastery over your mind and body, so you finally achieve your dreams.

NLP Achoring Techniques. Associate a signal or trigger (tapping your chest, snapping a rubber band, squeezing your fingers) with a physiological response (an emotion, mood, or mental state) of your choice.

Visualization. Your brain believes what you think about, so repeatedly imagine the outcome you desire.

Parts Integration. If Part of you doesn’t think you can do it, then use my Tea Time Exercise to bring harmony within yourself, so ALL of you believes you can.

Reframing. Identify unhelpful thoughts and replace them with positive statements that support a positive self-image.

Try these NLP techniques and see how they can change your thinking at a subconscious level – change your state - change your behavior – change your results or outcomes – change your life. By mindfully choosing to overcome your mental roadblocks, you can become more influential and effective. This quote by Earl Nightingale is so true…

"The mind moves in the direction of our currently dominating thought."

Now, more than ever, it’s vital for women to develop and enhance leadership qualities within ourselves and the next generation of younger women. We invite you to join us at our annual Women: Wisdom, Presence, and Flow! Retreat June 20 to 26th in Grand Canary Island. (FLOW stands for Fierce Leaders Organizing Worldwide!) We’re empowering women, like you, to change your thinking change your life.

Manage Your Anxiety and Change the Way You Perceive the World

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Controlling Stress.

“Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.” ~Walter Anderson

If you hold an emotional state long enough, it will change your brain chemistry. While we are products of genetics and past experiences, the good news is that we don’t have to be stuck with our present state. If we don’t like it, we can consciously make our futures brighter.

Neuroplastic healing can change and form new connections in your brain. However, this process of healing can be slowed by anxiety disorders. According to ADAA, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million aged 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.

How do you know if you have a normal level of anxiety or suffer from anxiety disorders? It’s best to consult with a mental health professional to be properly diagnosed, because it’s important to receive appropriate treatment. Here are a few things for you to consider…

In a study by Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel, researchers found that people diagnosed with anxiety are less able to distinguish between a "safe" stimulus and one that was earlier associated with a strong emotional response.

“In the study, researchers trained people to associate three distinct tones with one of three outcomes: money loss, money gain, or no consequence. In the next phase, study participants were presented with one of 15 tones and were asked whether they'd heard the tone before in training or not. Correct answers were rewarded with money.

People with anxiety were more likely than healthy controls to think that a new tone was actually one associate with money loss or gain. Those differences weren't explained by differences in participants' hearing or learning abilities. They perceived the sounds that were earlier linked to an emotional experience differently.

Functional magnetic resonance images (fMRIs) of the brains of people with anxiety versus healthy controls showed differences in brain responses, too. Those differences were mainly found in the amygdala, a brain region related to fear and anxiety. These results strengthen the idea that emotional experiences induce changes in sensory representations in anxiety patients' brains.”

People with anxiety disorders are living with brains on overdrive. As a result, they often experience the following…

They have difficulty trusting people, seeing threats where there are none.
They think that people are talking about them behind their back.
They have a difficulty reading facial expressions and body language.
Making conversation is painful.
They tend to judge themselves harshly.
They prefer to stay at home where it’s calm and controlled.
They are filled with pent up energy that produces unpleasant body sensations and difficulty in focusing.
They can’t shut their brains off and relax.
They hold themselves and others to impossible standards.
They struggle with perfectionism, often reacting in one of two extremes – quickly giving up or refusing to quit until they reach a self-imposed goal.
They tend to have a negative self-image.
Emotional triggers cause them to overreact with a fear response.
Everything is overwhelming and stressful.
Decision-making skills are hampered by feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
They are “thin skinned” and easily wounded emotionally.

You may recognize a few of these traits within yourself to some degree, because we all experience feelings of anxiety. After all, anxiety is a naturally neurological function that protects us from harm. But to experience them day after day is draining and debilitating.

You CAN learn to consciously and mindfully process and extinguish your emotional responses. If you suffer from undue anxiety, you CAN naturally improve your skills to cope and learn to live life on your own terms. By patiently taking one step at a time, you can achieve the life you desire. As Thich Nhat Hanh says,

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.”

It often helps to work through your anxieties with a trusted friend or partner. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). Let’s work through the rough patches together, so you can fully feel the exhilaration of life.

How to Build Confidence in Yourself and Others

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Fearless Mindset.

“Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” ~ Richard Kline

On the scale of timid to self-confident to arrogant, where do you usual show up? Do you wish you spoke up for yourself more? Have you ever fallen into the trap of putting others down so you feel better about yourself? Since we live in a very connected world, it’s important to know how to build confidence in yourself and others in a way that encourages rather than tears down.

How we feel about ourselves and how we treat others is all about constantly adjusting our “dials”. Turning this up; toning that down. Every new situation brings an opportunity to fine tune our “dials” until we become the person we aspire to be. Ultimately, you arrive at the balance of loving and respecting yourself and others. That balance produces self-confidence.

How can you achieve that balance? Here are my top 10 tips on how to build confidence in yourself and others…

1. Take care of yourself. No one will respect you, if you don’t respect yourself. For example, the way you dress, exercise, eat, drink, and speak tells whether you love yourself and others. Loving yourself doesn’t mean pampering yourself. It means doing all you can to improve your life.

2. Know your values and be true to yourself. Your decisions and your actions form your character. Practice being the best version of yourself. When you do something that’s really hard, you’ll be proud of yourself. At the same time, you won’t feel the need to control others. You’ll be able to allow them to grow at their own rate.

3. Believe in yourself. Don’t let the Debbie Downers stop you. Especially is this so, if one of those critical voices is in your own mind. Believe in what you’re trying to accomplish; believe in you. And then pay it forward by encouraging others to follow their dreams.

4. Cultivate a fearless mindset. Build a fire in your soul for developing the attitudes and habits that make you fearless. View everything you do as worthwhile. No matter what the job is, do it cheerfully. Appreciate “failures” as an opportunity to hone your strengths. When you feel like you can’t go on, gather your last ounce of courage and keep going. What you’re trying to accomplish is more important than the fear you feel. This mindset will keep you from judging or condemning others when they falter.

5. Keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. You’ll respect yourself and so will others. Action gives your words meaning. You’ll accomplish your goals and reinforce your self-worth. And others come to trust you.

6. Don't worry what others think. While feedback is helpful, don’t let it define who you are. Thinking you’re smart or stupid just because someone says so isn’t real. Feedback is meant to be examined for nuggets of wisdom that apply to your life. If you think something can be done, then you will find a way to make it happen. In the process, strive to give helpful feedback to others.

7. Finish what you start. Life is full of distractions and procrastinations. Your self-confidence will sky-rocket each time you can say, “Done!” Others will be confident that they can depend on you.

8. Track your accomplishments. Too often, we forget what we’ve accomplished over the course of a year. Make a physical record of your achievements, no matter how small, so you can review them. This will really boost your self-confidence. And be quick to acknowledge and compliment others for everything they do. I love this quote from David Storey…

“Self-confidence is the memory of success.”

9. Learn new skills. Whether it’s for business, fitness, or recreation, learning and becoming good at something new is a great moral booster. Each time I put together a new program, push myself further at CrossFit or score in archery, I can feel my self-confidence growing. And I love inviting others to join me. We accomplish more together than I ever could by myself. Remember, you’ll accomplish big things if you take one baby step at a time.

10. Think future benefits, not instant gratification. Self-denial is part of life. We can’t have and do it all. You can’t go days without sleep and eating junk food and expect to be brilliant. Be strong enough to make the tough decisions and stick to the choices that get you closer to your dreams. Welcome immediate discomfort, by keeping your mind’s eye focused on the long-term gain for yourself and others.

Life is short. The more time you spend doing something you love, the less time you’ll have for stress and anxiety. Why not contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). Together, we can formulate a plan that enriches every day of your life.

Benefits of CrossFit Training for Women Like Me

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Health and Wellness.

"Successful people pursue hard things. Unsuccessful people avoid them." ~ Coach Greg Glassman

I know you highly value health and wellness. That’s why you’re here – because it’s my mission to help you achieve your optimal health through mindfully making good choices. To be totally honest and open, even though I’ve practiced a healthful routine for years, sometimes I lacked motivation. Something was missing. I like how Brian Carter put it, “Even people who aren't sick may not have optimal wellness.” Is that how you feel? My breakthrough to my optimal wellness happened when I discovered CrossFit training for women like me. It might be exactly what you’re looking for too!

I am so proud to be part of Crossfit Inconceivable community in Ashland Oregon. Over the last almost 3½ years, I have literally changed who I am. I have become the person who:

works out regularly (Who knew that was possible!?!)
looks at sweating and challenging myself physically as self-care,
is more mindful about body fitness and wellness, and
has found a community of like-minded people that inspire me, challenge me and keep me sane. I love seeing those beautiful faces first thing in the morning. I look forward to feeling inspired everyday.

So I challenge you…if you don’t already have a supportive community that inspires you to makes your workout routine a sustainable habit…what are you waiting for? Go find them! Your wellness program doesn’t have to include CrossFit, because it’s always important to listen to your own body and its limits, but here’s why I love it so much…

Nine benefits from the special way CrossFit training is designed.

1. Somatic approach. As a Somatic Coach, I am all about caring for the whole mind/body/spirit connection. CrossFit training ticks all of those boxes. It’s an intense, full-body workout that prepares you for the unexpected, which has far reaching benefits for your mind and spirit, too.

2. Time-saving. Most CrossFit “Workouts of the Day” can be completed in 15-20 minutes.

3. Dynamic workout. CrossFit combines strength training, explosive plyometrics, speed training, weight lifting, kettle bells, body weight exercises, gymnastics, and endurance exercise. It mixes and matches different exercises to push all parts of your body to their limits. (That’s a good thing!)

4. Variety holds off boredom. Each “Workouts of the Day” is new and exciting. You’re not likely to do the same workout within a 6-month period.

5. Learn what you’re really capable of doing. Each exercise builds on the previous one, so you achieve more than you thought possible.

6. Community. The camaraderie in CrossFit makes this exercise experience so unique. You will be applauded for doing your best, no matter what your best is. No comparisons made!

7. Personal coaching. All CrossFit classes are led by an experienced coach who ensures proper form and standards. Yes, occasionally you’ll get a “no rep” when you’re not doing something properly or not giving it your all. Your coach is your inspiration, counselor, buddy, nutrition advisor and biggest cheerleader.

What actual health benefits can you expect from CrossFit training? For women like me, there has to be tangible results to make it worth investing the time. Wouldn’t you say these benefits are well worth your time?

heart health
joint mobility
stamina
strength
coordination
flexibility
power
speed
agility
balance
endurance
immune system
creativity

As John F. Kennedy said: “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.”

And that leads me to the two most important benefits from CrossFit training for women like me…

8. New lifestyle.You’re surrounded by people invested in fitness and health, which reinforces your resolve to achieve and maintain total wellness.

9. Mental toughness. You leave behind the practice of taking the path of least resistance or cutting corners. “Taking the easy way out” is no longer in your vocabulary. You discover the difference between discomfort and pain, and you aren’t a quitter.

These benefits literally transformed my life! They make my health and wellness routine sustainable. I look forward to the daily encouragement and inspiration, because it keeps me going. It’s never a burden. And I’m not even tempted to cheat.

Do you want to feel that way about your health routine? I’d love to be part of your supportive community. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). Let’s work through the rough patches, so you can find your way to YOUR routine for total health and wellness.

Try a New Way of Thinking Instead of Making New Year’s Resolutions

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be.” – Marianne Williamson

Years ago, when I was brainstorming the name of my business, Neways Center, I wanted it to reflect how we master a new way of thinking before we can create real change in our lives. After all, if the old way of thinking was working, you wouldn’t be looking for a change, would you?

I’ve noticed that people often use the New Year as a “when” moment…“When the calendar starts over, I can start over” type of thinking. It’s not a bad thing to use the calendar to renew your sense of purpose, determination and hope. However, keep in mind that dates come and go; real hallmarks in our lives occur as events. And events are the culmination of a series of baby steps that get you to a certain place, when you’re ready for it.

That the key to this new way of thinking: change doesn’t happen until you are prepared and ready for it!

How do you create a new way of thinking that results in real change? Here are three ways you can cultivate this new way of thinking in terms of hallmark events in your life that create sustainable shifts.

1. Schedule retreats not vacations. When you spend time and money booking a hotel room and traveling to a new location, you open up your mind to creatively think in a new way. It breaks you out of your routine, so you can try out being a new way, to see if it’s the right fit for you.

Rather than spending that time overeating, overdrinking and mindlessly “vegging out”, make them into self-renewal retreats. Go somewhere with minimal distractions, so your mind clears and you have time to reconnect with your mind, body and spirit. (You can read about our 2018 “Women, Wisdom & Presence” retreat to see if the 2019 retreat in the Grand Canary Island is a good fit for you. Contact me for details if you’re interested.)

Wherever you choose to go, take a journal and write down all the things you love about yourself and your life. Then reflect on what you can do to bring yourself more in harmony with your mission or purpose in life.

2. Build a supportive community. In life, we often get thrown together with people we wouldn’t choose as close companions. Adopt a new way of thinking about those you associate with…in person, online, or even through the entertainment you choose. Commit to seeking out and spending more time with only those that lift you up, challenge you, and support you in becoming your best you.

Plan a monthly event with a friend that supports your new way of thinking, one that prepares you to be in the right emotional, mental and spiritual space for enhancing your potential.

Schedule a set day and time for weekly phone calls to celebrate your wins.
Go all out and dress up for a self-renewal dinner, only ordering items that make you feel good.
Attend a live event together.
Exercise together.
Regularly share themed photos on Instagram that keep you inspired.
Explore new locations, new skills, or new experiences together.

3. Mindfully learn instead of judging. Resist turning situations into a way of labeling yourself as right or wrong, good or bad, smart or stupid. Start a new way of thinking: attract more positivity into your life by mindfully processing situations as learning experiences, without passing judgment.

You are the sum of years of experiences. Respect them as a part of your journey and use them as stepping stones to the future you want. Change your way of thinking so they don’t hang as weights around your neck. Be grateful for the person you are today. You are strong! You are enough! You don’t have to be like anyone else. You don’t need to “change” who you are.

Like a diamond, we are all simply in the process of smoothing out the rough spots so we can let our unique brilliance shine through. For diamonds to sparkle, they need light. You can shine light on yourself by creating a sacred space for reflection. Here are seven suggestions to get you started:

Make a daily practice of walking in nature.
Incorporate breathing breaks throughout the day.
Light a candle, sit in a comfy position, and set one intention you want to model right now in your life. Examine that intention from all angles (how you see yourself, how others will see you, how it affects your business presence, etc) and fully visualize how it empowers you.
Invite a trusted friend on one of your retreats, so you can process out loud.
Specifically ask that friend what they admire about you.
Think back over the past year. Visualize where you started and how far you’ve come.
Keep a running list of all of the things you’re proud of – compliments you receive, accomplishments you have, connections you make, etc.

Lasting change starts from a place of peaceful acceptance. It’s a natural, not forced, progression. Do you want to get the New Year off to a great start? Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). Together we can create a plan that fully opens up this new way of thinking for you.

Category: Change Your Life

Change Your Thinking Change Your Life with 4 Favorite NLP Techniques

Manage Your Anxiety and Change the Way You Perceive the World

How to Build Confidence in Yourself and Others

Benefits of CrossFit Training for Women Like Me

Try a New Way of Thinking Instead of Making New Year’s Resolutions

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