Maria Connolly, LPC
Mindfulness provides access to powerful inner resources so we can change the way we see and ultimately experience difficult situations. We’re empowered to participate in these situations – and interact with the world at large – as we work with what arises instead of trying to escape.
This may startle you, but many of the excellent behaviors that help women rise in their field will eventually become the behaviors that keep them from further advancement. How can that be? When can excellent behaviors hold you back? Have your strengths become your weaknesses — how can you determine that? And then what can you do about it?
“Why did I do that? Sometimes I don’t understand myself.” During a coaching session, has your client ever said that to you? Or perhaps you’ve felt that way yourself. If so, you’re not alone. Even though we live with ourselves 24/7, we don’t automatically possess total self-understanding. Just as it takes work to understand someone else, it takes time and effort to understand ourselves.
Oftentimes, we’re so busy and our lives and thoughts become so cluttered we get into a reactive mode rather than staying in a calm place of choice. This mindlessness makes us forgetful and causes us to feel separation from self, which creates a sense of merely existing rather than living a full and purposeful life. So how can harmony be restored? The answer lies in developing the skill of mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. explains that
Because many of my clients have experienced trauma survivors’ hypervigilance, a question often comes up: “Maria, how do I distinguish between a deliberate and mindful noticing that you encourage and the hyper-alert response that I’m having from my trauma? Can a practice of mindfulness help me calm my hypervigilance? I mean I’m already noticing every little thing! How can mindfully noticing more help me?”
These are great questions! I hope this article gives you some answers and strategies you can start using today to calm hypervigilance.
A practice of mindfulness is priceless. Without it, we can go through life only experiencing things superficially, missing the things that bring lasting enrichment. However, when you become The Observer, taking in information without judgment, you’ll see what you want more of or less of, in your life.
For example… how observant are you? If I asked you to identify the colors in a picture of a forest, no doubt you would say green, brown, and maybe some yellow. But an artist closely inspects each area for color or hue; she also sees the variances of shade (black added to the hue), tone (gray added to the hue), and tint (white added to the hue). Not only that, she detects the differences in intensity and value. Before the painting is done, the artist will have mixed hundreds of different combinations of paint, each one intentionally performing a specific function on the canvas. Why is this so important? Jon Kabat-Zinn explains “The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.”
“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.” ~ Thomas Dekker
Humans NEED to spend a lot of time sleeping. According to some statistics, the average person spends about 26 years sleeping, over a lifespan of 79 years. However, we also spend 7 years trying to get to sleep. That’s a lot of lost sleep! It’s not uncommon to have a few sleepless nights, now and then. And you’ll be able to function still. But a cycle of sleepless nights will adversely impact your life! The secret we all want to know is how to easily get to sleep and stay asleep, so we perform at our best.
