Category: Change Your Life

“What Is My Gift?” The Question that Unlocks Your Place in the World

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Spirituality.

“Don’t die with your music still in you.” ~ Wayne Dyer

What makes you different from other people? What’s that one special thing you bring to the table that no one can do like you do? Surprisingly, these two questions can even leave highly successful people speechless. We have so much trouble assessing ourselves, knowing ourselves. But if you’re brave enough to do the work, the answer to the question, “What is my gift” will give you unending confidence and will reinvigorate your thirst for life.

Your gift is not a talent or the skillset you’ve acquired. It’s the thing that you’re intrinsically good at without any effort on your part. You display it at work and on vacation, whether you’re alone or with someone. It’s fueled by your deepest passion and nurtured by your highest purpose. It could be how you can:

Stir the pot so people bring their best to the table in new and creative ways.
Make sense of a situation or data and know what the next step is.
Mediate and resolve any conflict.
Sing like a rock star.
Make people laugh.
Get things done.
Show empathy.

Why does it matter that you answer the question, what is my gift? You can certainly live by mindlessly going through the motions, being a cog in someone else’s wheel. But if you want to live an extraordinary life, you’ll find your gift.

To find your gift, you’ll first want to know what’s keeping you from identifying it.

What are your roadblocks to answering: What is my gift? Here are some common ones…

I’m so ordinary I couldn’t possibly have a special gift. Let’s nip this one in the bud right now! There has never been, nor will there ever be, another YOU. You are a unique combination of genetics, environmental influences, hopes, dreams and desires. Someone else may do what you do, but they’ll never do it like you do.

Teachers, parents, or bosses, make me feel less than and unworthy. Not everyone lives in a nurturing environment. When your unique gift isn’t acknowledged or is worse, belittled, you can learn to minimize its value or lose sight of it altogether. Don’t let their shortsightedness rob you of the power that comes with finding and sharing your gift. Do it for you and for those around you.

I don’t want the spotlight on me. It may feel more comfortable in the shadows. By staying small, you may think you’re honoring others, so they stay in the spotlight. But in reality, you’re selfishly withholding from them something that could make them even better. Your gift plus their gift can create a synergy that creates something neither of you can do individually.

Get the focus off of yourself and what others might think of you, and on to the positive outcome you can make. Even if you fear success because you don’t think you deserve it or you’re not ready for it, remember what Maryanne Williamson said,

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?’”

I don’t want to be too pushy. It’s good to recognize that others should be allowed to shine, but don’t think that means you can’t shine too! The key is to learn better communication skills so you can express your gift in an authentic and totally comfortable way, while, at the same time, accepting the gifts of others.

I don’t want to get involved. Taking responsibility for and using your gift mindfully takes guts. Yes, it’s easier to procrastinate and let others take over while you wait for the perfect time to shine. Life is short and unpredictable. Do you really want to be that person always standing on the outside looking in and who says, “I wish I would have…”

Not only is it important to know your own gift, but we can help others discover their gifts too! If you’d like to learn how, please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). We’ll explore how you can bring your gift forth in a more fulfilling and meaningful way.

9 Everyday Rituals That Can Enrich Your Personal Life, Too!

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“If you pick the right small behavior and sequence it right, then you won’t have to motivate yourself to have it grow. It will just happen naturally, like a good seed planted in a good spot.” ~ BJ Fogg

The most common trait of highly successful people is the recognition that they have the power to shape their reality through the way they think, believe or expect. One of the most effective ways of changing our belief patterns is by practicing everyday rituals. When I read “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, I loved his powerful observation about habits or rituals: “And once you understand that habits can change, you have the freedom and the responsibility to remake them.”

I truly believe it is our responsibility to change something in our lives that isn’t working for us or that isn’t challenging us to reach our full potential. Oftentimes, we get stuck because we don’t know where to start. So, I’m going to share some of my everyday rituals to help you explore possibilities for enriching your own life. My everyday rituals include:

Getting restorative sleep. Early to bed, early to rise is the motto I live by.

Working out. I move my body first thing each day.

Eating breakfast and dinner with my honey, because I want us to continue feeling connected and close.

Guarding my boundaries. For example, I hold to my ‘No work before 10’ policy fairly well.

Eating clean. For me that means, eating whole foods and not drinking alcohol. A couple of years ago, I started noticing that just the little bit of alcohol (my hubby makes some tasty homebrew!) would leave me feeling sluggish and fuzzy for a few days afterwards. I started to pay attention to that and experimented with no alcohol for a few weeks and then reintroduced it. It became clear that my body was telling me that consuming alcohol was not in alignment with how I wanted to feel and operate in the world. Do your own experiment. Notice what is no longer needed in your life and create new ways to support yourself throughout the day.

Fostering personal growth. I listen to podcasts, audiobooks, take online classes on a regular basis, use Tea Time and self-editing to be current with my emotional and mental state. I see my coach regularly to always have better perspective on situations and make better decisions. I know that I’m stronger when I support myself in a consistent and deliberate way.

Fully being present when I take time off. Whether it’s a retreat, a vacation with my family (I look forward to my yearly trips to visit my mom, brother and niece – they are nourishing and exciting!) I take time to unplug and get away so that I can return feeling refreshed and recharged.

Making changes. I need to change something in my life on a yearly basis. It might be changing the furniture around or updating my website, experiment with no meat for a month or taking a new route to work. I need to try Neways often (my business name is Neways after all!)

Expressing Gratitude. I like sending handwritten notes to people I love. I like surprising people with a thoughtful gift or just saying “you are important to me”. It’s a way I also acknowledge how blessed I am.

Has my list of everyday rituals given you some ideas of what new rituals you’d like to implement in your own life? Why not make this a family topic and come up with some rituals that help you reconnect with yourselves and each other? And I’d love it if we could stay connected too! Please sign up for my newsletter to stay current with the changes I’m making — in my own life and in those of my clients — including my Foundations of Life Coaching and NLP training coming up September 26 to 29, 2019.

Harness the Power of Rituals So Your Life Goes Where You Want It to Go

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“A daily ritual is a way of saying, I’m voting for myself. I’m taking care of myself.” ~ Mariel Hemingway

When you feel overwhelmed, because your life is out of control, how do you regain your balance, centeredness, and harmony? Do you have a particular ritual you rely on? Of all the things that empower us, the one that I think is most sustainable is harnessing the power of rituals.

The power of rituals that I’m referring to are the daily actions, habits, routines or patterns that keep you grounded and centered throughout your day. No doubt, you’ve experienced how one event can send you spiraling down until your whole day has been ruined. On the other hand, I hope you’ve also experienced how starting each day with a quiet, mindful practice can give you focus and strength that you can continually draw on throughout any crisis during the day.

Just as we harness a powerful horse to take us in the direction we want it to go, we can engage the power of rituals intentionally with a definite destination in mind. Whether it’s feeling better physically, connecting more fully with loved ones, achieving satisfaction from your work…

Tapping into the power of rituals involves creating an intention, then making repetitive, beneficial choices and actions until they become an ingrained habit. It becomes part of who you are. You wouldn’t consider going a day without engaging in it. Repetition makes your new ritual easier and, once it’s established, it takes much less effort on your part.

We naturally develop rituals around daily activities. Think for a moment how you get ready for work, travel to the office, and how you proceed through your work load. What rituals have you already formed?

I love what Stephen Covey said — “Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.”

Therefore, harnessing the power of rituals helps you:

reconnect with what’s important to your inner self.
become the creator of your reality.
make order out of life’s chaos.
enter the zone more easily.
perform at a predictably high level, without over-thinking.

There are many ways of checking in and reconnecting with yourself. Here are just a few examples of how you can use the power of rituals in your own life:

Sit outside with a cup of coffee as the sun arises to set intentions for the day.
Read your collection of inspirational, motivational messages, when stressed, to regain your composure.
Stop, stretch, breathe to reconnect with what your body is telling you.
Light a candle or smell essential oils to calm, focus and prepare yourself for a challenge.
Go to your sacred place, to reflect and meditate on what’s truly important to you.
Before a challenging event, check in with a trusted friend or coach.
At the end of each day, grab a drink, go to the back patio, and talk with and listen to your significant other.

The most helpful rituals engage all of your senses, as this anchors the experience and allows you to revisit it in your mind when you need to be centered during the day. Simple and intentional rituals are the best. They set you up for the best possibility of success.

A ritual is usually comprised of a certain series of actions you do over and over again. You can harness the power of rituals by breaking down the individual steps and tweaking each one individually.

Would you like to learn more about the power of rituals in your life? Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). I’d love to brainstorm some ideas with you so it can relieve your feelings of being overwhelmed by your workload or personal responsibilities.

When You Make Your Own Luck You Make Wonderful Things Happen

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

“I’ve found that what most people call luck is often little more than raw talent combined with the ability to make the most of opportunities.” ~ Timothy Zahn

“Some people just have all the luck!” Have you ever felt that way? Perhaps someone has even said that about you. Or maybe you’re still waiting for your “lucky break”? For many people, it’s easiest to drift through life, taking whatever comes. Waiting for your lucky break makes it easier to shift the blame to others for any failures that happen. After all, some people are just cursed with bad luck, right? Not at all! If you look at their life choices and their attitudes that prompted those choices, you’ll see why they’ve been having bad luck. You make your own luck by intentionally developing the empowering skills I’m going to share with you today.

The foremost requirement is taking responsibility for your actions. This is the springboard from which your luck-attracting mood, attitude and outlook will grow. Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychology chair at England’s University of Hertfordshire, conducted scientific research with a group of 400 exceptionally “lucky” and “unlucky” people from all walks of life. He discovered that “lucky” people possess four basic psychological traits:

They know how to maximize opportunities.
They listen to their intuition.
They expect good fortune.
They see the bright side of “bad luck”.

His conclusion makes perfect sense to me. It’s what I’ve observed in my own life, as well as, in the lives of my clients. Let’s examine how you can enhance each of these qualities in your own life…

1. Make your own luck by maximizing your opportunities.

Prepare now, so you can take advantage of any opportunity that comes your way. What do I mean? If your life is not in shape to support you as you step into something greater, you’ll tend to shrink back in fear.

Also when you build a strong network of positive influencers and supporters, you increase the likelihood that you’ll have greater opportunities opened to you. As you remain open to new experiences and enhance your curiosity you’ll see opportunities where others do not. This open outlook is a more positive and relaxed approach to life. You’ll see a difference in your choice of words, thoughts and body language, which, in turn, will attract people who can bring you your “lucky break”.

2. Make your own luck by listening to your intuition.

It takes quiet times and a practice of mindfulness to cultivate your intuitive powers. You have to be still to listen to what all your Parts are telling you. Once you do acquire a stronger intuition, it’s important that you don’t sabotage yourself by dismissing what it’s telling you.

3.Make your own luck by actively looking for the good.

What you look for is what you will see. Your thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies. Therefore, why not always expect and look for the good, since that’s what you want to attract into your life. It heightens your expectations and broadens your focus and you’ll tend to act in a way that helps you achieve what you want. You won’t give up so easily either!

4. Make your own luck by cultivating resilience and transforming each negative into a positive.

Rather than being sucked into a vortex of bad luck, proactively turn your luck by examining each circumstance for how and why it makes you feel a certain way. Armed with this knowledge, consider how the situation was made worse by your actions or inaction and how you could have made it better. This in-depth contemplation will help you learn from each experience. It will keep you from passing a non-helpful judgment upon yourself. In this way, you shift your mood and prepare yourself to handle a similar future occurrence more effectively.

You don’t have to be manipulative to make your own luck. However, you can influence others to send opportunities your way by putting your A-game in place. Identify the goal you want to achieve and start living it! Dress like, talk like, think like, and act like it’s your reality already. Attract the right people by being of service to them. Then start specifically asking for what you want. The right people will notice you and send you “your lucky break”! No, it doesn’t happen by chance; luck happens by design.

Are you ready to make your own luck and watch extraordinary things happen in your life? I’d love to partner with you through this process. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). And don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter to stay up-to-date on some of the training opportunities I offer…including, Foundations of Life Coaching and NLP — September 26 to 29, 2019.

Recovering from Burnout — 18 Tips for Restoring Balance

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Controlling Stress, Health and Wellness.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” ~ Lou Holtz

The doctors say there’s nothing wrong with you, except for a little high blood pressure and fatigue. But you know there’s something seriously off. You’re not yourself. You drag yourself out of bed. As you walk around the house, you mutter “I’m just so tired,” but you can’t figure out why. Could it be you’re suffering from burnout?

Are you uncharacteristically short-tempered? Has your positive attitude been replaced with critical comments? Do you exercise less? Drink more? Have you lost touch with friends? What should take minutes now takes hours. Sounds more and more like burnout!

No, it’s not all in your head. Less than a week ago, the World Health Organization posted their 11^th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases, listing burnout as an occupational phenomenon. They state that:

“Burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
reduced professional efficacy.”

Burnout syndrome contributes to heart disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and premature aging. This is not something you want to ignore and hope goes away!

Some professions, (e.g. medical, legal, teaching, social work, entrepreneurship), are more prone to causing burnout, because they demand all you have to give and then more! You could be fulfilling responsibilities that are clearly out of the bounds of your job description, without being compensated for them. You may be working in an unsupportive or toxic environment. Perhaps you’re asked to compromise personal values and beliefs. On top of that, you may have unrealistic expectations of yourself.

Did you notice WHO said burnout results from “stress that has not been successfully managed”? That should give you hope, because you can learn to manage stress and start recovering from burnout, with a few adjustments to your life. Right now, you may feel like you can’t do one more thing! But, please, take steps to get your life back in balance.

How do you start the process of recovering from burnout? It all begins with a practice of mindfulness to check in with yourself throughout the day. Here are some other suggestions:

Learn stress management skills. Yoga, deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation techniques, reconnecting with nature, and utilizing the power of gratitude are all helpful.
Tune into body sensations. Focus on your body’s response to movement. For example, stretching releases tightness and tension.
Talk to someone. Find a good listener who isn’t going to try to “fix” you or judge you.
Rekindle friendships. Phone someone and schedule a lunch date, or better yet, go for a walk with your friend and get some exercise, too.
Limit contact with negative people. Your may have to work with them, but you don’t have to eat lunch or hang out after work with them.
Learn to speak Positivity.
Reframe the way you view work. Focus on how you help others.
Set boundaries that support your values. Learn to say “no!” and rediscover your happy place.
Develop curiosity about emotional distress. Think of it as a learning tool.
Take time off and get away. Ovid wisely said ~ “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”
Stop the tech addiction. The world isn’t going to end because you completely disconnect from your devices at the end of each day!
Feed your creative side and find a hobby.
Get restorative sleep.
Make exercise a priority. Aim to exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes/day. Mix it up with activities you like.
Eat healthfully. Just cut out one harmful item and add one healthful item at a time. It makes a difference.
Avoid narcotics, nicotine and alcohol. Stimulants and depressants alter your brain chemistry. The temporary euphoria isn’t worth the negative effects.
Find a better job. It took courage, but I have never regretted shifting my practice to coaching women!
Work smarter. Hone your time management and organizational skills.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie reminds us, “Say NO to the demands of the world. Say YES to the longings of your own heart.” Are you ready to make that shift? Does recovering from burnout feel too overwhelming — you don’t know where to start? I’d love to help you create a plan that gets you to where you want to be. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype).

Category: Change Your Life

“What Is My Gift?” The Question that Unlocks Your Place in the World

9 Everyday Rituals That Can Enrich Your Personal Life, Too!

Harness the Power of Rituals So Your Life Goes Where You Want It to Go

When You Make Your Own Luck You Make Wonderful Things Happen

Recovering from Burnout — 18 Tips for Restoring Balance

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