Maria Connolly, LPC
Emotional intelligence is twice as valuable as IQ in the business world, since the emotional health of the team directly impacts productivity, motivation, engagement and loyalty. This means a person has the emotional intelligence that encompasses an ability to 1) identify and manage one’s own emotions, 2) identify and understand someone else’s emotions, and 3) relate well to others personally and professionally even under the most stressful situations. This requires that a person be self-aware, self-regulating and empathetic. These relationship-based skills are ones wherein women certainly excel.
When you think of the word “intelligence” do you think of the head or the heart? What about the word “emotional”? Does it make you think of a professional person or someone who’s unpredictable? We tend to think of these two words as being polar opposites. But both are needed if you want to be a balanced, effective leader. That’s why the following emotional intelligence characteristics are so important for leaders today.
Your body often knows things long before your mind catches up. It remembers today’s experiences AND all of your past experiences. The Inner Fitness Challenge Tool #2 — Somatic awareness of Body Sensations — lets you listen to and learn to trust your body’s wisdom once again.
One of my clients said to me,“I know how to do it; I just don’t know how to do it!” For example, you know that losing weight involves eating nutritiously, exercising, and getting restorative sleep, but you just haven’t figured out how to practice those things in your own life to create real transformation.
Is it possible to stop holding on to emotional baggage? Yes! There is actually a tried-and-true process for leaving something behind resourcefully.
Have you noticed how easy it is to hold on to negative life events? A “failed” relationship. A “stupid” decision. A judgmental comment. The list is endless. We’ve got them neatly packed away in our brains, so they can resurface and haunt us all over again.
“You’re so emotional!” That’s what my client, Janine, heard throughout her early years. And you know it wasn’t said as a compliment, but rather as a reprimand. From this and other negative judgments, Janine learned that it’s not good to allow yourself to feel your emotions. Her caregivers taught her that some emotions were “unacceptable”.
To gain approval and protect herself from being hurt, she started bottling up her feelings. Not only did she become good at hiding her emotions from others, she began to hide them from herself… to the point where she didn’t know what she liked or even who she was anymore!
Have you ever experienced anything like Janine? When you were sad were you told, “Oh, don’t be such a baby!” or when you were angry, did they say, “That’s so ugly. No one is going to like you, if you keep that up little Missy.”
We react strongly to emotions we judge as negative. Emotions like grief, sadness, anger, shame, and fear make us uncomfortable and afraid. When we see them in others, it’s unpleasant, so we try to make them go away.
Have your first impressions of a situation or person ever made you act in a way you later regret? Our power of perception can cause trouble if we misjudge. At the very least, it gets us off on the wrong foot. On the other hand, it can be a protection when our gut tells us to be wary. How do we know when to trust our power of perception and when to override it?