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Category: Self-Leadership Skills

I Am So Disappointed In Myself — What Can I Do About It?

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills, Stepping Forward.

When you say, "I’m so disappointed in myself" – pause, peel back the layers, assess without judgment, and make a plan to move forward.“I swore I would do better, Maria. I want to do better! But every time I get hurt or stressed out, I can’t help myself. I reach for ________ ( Fill in the blank with chocolate, ice cream, cigarette, alcoholic drink, TV clicker — all the things we distract ourselves with.) I feel so disappointed in myself!”  Can you relate to my client’s heartfelt plea? What do YOU do when the person you disappoint is you? And more to the point, what healthy things can you do instead?

Since we’re our own worst critics, we tend to turn off compassion and turn on self-disgust when we disappoint ourselves.  If that’s your default setting, know that you are not alone. Neither are you locked into always responding that way. 

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3 Ways to Bounce Back from Setbacks When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills, Transform Your Life.

When emotions are raw, it’s hard to bounce back from setbacks, but practicing these three things will make it easier because you choose how you react.You pin your hopes on getting that promotion, being hired for your dream job, or taking a relationship to a strong commitment. You’re nervous because you question whether you’re ready. You’re scared to step out of your comfort zone, but it’s exhilarating to think this could be your future! And then… you get the news you didn’t get it. It feels like you’ve been punched and you can’t breathe. How do you bounce back from setbacks like these?

It takes having a system in place for handling disappointment. It makes sense to plan for a disaster before it happens because once you’re in the middle of it, you won’t be able to think clearly. The same is true of life setbacks. They are going to happen, so if you have a practiced way of handling small setbacks, you’ll be able to handle large setbacks more easily. 

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Achieve Excellence - Proven Ways to Make Accountability Work for You

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, ICF Mentor Coaching, Self-Leadership Skills.

Achieving excellence always results from focused, energetic, and consistent supervision and training. The coaching culture of accountability is vital.When you think of the word excellence, what images spring to mind? Is it the fine craftsmanship of a superior sailing ship? Or perhaps you think of an influential leader who masterfully brings out the best in the crowds that flock to her. How do people achieve excellence like that? 

Excellence is not only for an elite few. Admittedly, some people are predisposed to traits that come readily to them. But no one excels without dedication and consistent effort. Can you upgrade from ‘settling for good enough’ to ‘achieving excellence’? Yes!

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How To Overcome Obstacles In Life — Managing Setbacks With Ease

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Self-Leadership Skills, Stepping Forward.

When you need to overcome obstacles in life, use this easy exercise that empowers you to identify and regulate your emotional reactions to situations.Under the best circumstances, change doesn’t come easily. Some people say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. However, one study shows that on average it takes up to 66 days. Some people can create a new habit in as little as 18 days, while others take 254 days! What do we learn from this? Don’t count the days. Be convinced that the new habit is what you want and practice it until it becomes a part of who you are. Because let’s face it, life isn’t ideal. Much of the time we’re overcoming obstacles as we make these changes.

How about you? Do your goals and intentions fade after the first setback? How many challenges can you handle before you give up?

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How to Increase Self-Understanding? Use This Powerful Mindfulness Exercise

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Mindfulness, Self-Leadership Skills, Spirituality, Stepping Forward.

The beginning of self-understanding starts with mindful awareness of your world and how you respond to it, only then you can make responsible choices.“Why did I do that? Sometimes I don’t understand myself.” During a coaching session, has your client ever said that to you? Or perhaps you’ve felt that way yourself. If so, you’re not alone. Even though we live with ourselves 24/7, we don’t automatically possess total self-understanding. Just as it takes work to understand someone else, it takes time and effort to understand ourselves.

Oftentimes, we’re so busy and our lives and thoughts become so cluttered we get into a reactive mode rather than staying in a calm place of choice. This mindlessness makes us forgetful and causes us to feel separation from self, which creates a sense of merely existing rather than living a full and purposeful life. So how can harmony be restored? The answer lies in developing the skill of mindfulness. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D. explains that 

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