How To Overcome Obstacles In Life — Managing Setbacks With Ease
Under the best circumstances, change doesn’t come easily. Some people say it takes 21 days to create a new habit. However, one study shows that on average it takes up to 66 days. Some people can create a new habit in as little as 18 days, while others take 254 days! What do we learn from this? Don’t count the days. Be convinced that the new habit is what you want and practice it until it becomes a part of who you are. Because let’s face it, life isn’t ideal. Much of the time we’re overcoming obstacles as we make these changes.
How about you? Do your goals and intentions fade after the first setback? How many challenges can you handle before you give up?
We all experience setbacks. The usual human response to being disappointed or afraid is to disconnect from your dream, telling yourself, “It’s not for me. It’s not meant to be.” Nevertheless, you have to be willing to risk failure and disappointment as you strive to make a meaningful change in your life.
Setbacks or obstacles are simply indicators that you have room for growth. Just remember that everything will turn out right in the end. Despite whatever challenges you face, you CAN get the life you’ve always wanted. Positive results come from deliberate action.
Overcome Obstacles in Life — Dial-in Emotions Exercise
When you create greater awareness and learn how to regulate your feelings and desires, you’ll be able to manage your emotional responses, which is vital for overcoming any obstacle when making a change for the better. Visualize it like you’re adjusting a dial – I find this approach keeps me in a healthy, manageable mindset.
The following exercise might seem simple, yet it powerfully reinforces your beliefs that you CAN make your dreams come true.
Step 1: See how things really are. Be honest with yourself about your present situation.
Step 2: Be committed to finding value in everything you experience, even the hard things in life. Always ask yourself, “How can I make the most of this situation? What is it teaching me?”
Step 3: Learn to rate your desire. Select one item (perhaps a piece of fruit) and focus on only it. On a scale of minus 10 (the most repulsive thing in the world) to plus 10 (I have to have it NOW!) where would you rate your desire for it right now? That feeling or sensation you’re experiencing is what you’re going to work on.
Step 4: Incrementally increase your desire by asking yourself the following questions…
What thoughts and feelings will you have to concentrate on to make you want it a little bit more? Keep thinking about it and looking at it until your desire actually increases.
Now take it up a notch to desire level +8. What would make this item even more desirable to you? What do you have to think and feel to make it even more appealing?
Finally, take it all the way up to desire level +10. What did you feel and think to make you want it NOW?
It’s time to break that state of urgency because we’re not done. Get up and walk away and think of something else. Then come back and continue.
Step 5: Incrementally decrease your desire by asking yourself the following questions…
What would make this item a little less desirable? What are you thinking and feeling to change your desires? Continue to work your way down the scale until your reach minus 10. Don’t give up until you feel repulsed by the object.
Step 6: Bring your desire level back up to the range of plus 4.
Step 7: Identify your pattern of thinking. Some people use their imagination to add something repugnant to the item to make it seem less desirable. Others start thinking of consequences, like struggling to zip their jeans because of eating the item. Others seek distractions. Which pattern of thinking do you use?
You now have the power to mindfully create extraordinary experiences any time by consciously deciding how you want to think and feel before you engage in the activity. It’s empowering to target a sensation, measure its desirability, and take conscious control of your emotional state by determining your pattern of thinking.
The ultimate goal is to learn to rate all of your experiences in life as you use your power of thought and your felt sense. Always ask yourself, “What is the quality of experience I want in this situation? What conditions must I create in myself, toward other people, and in my environment to achieve it?” Each win becomes the foundation for new habits that eventually create the life you’ve always wanted.
Would you like more tips on how to overcome obstacles in life as you achieve outstanding success? I invite you to learn how Somatic Coaching can help you tune into what your body is telling you and how you can give it exactly what it needs when it needs it. Please contact me and schedule a 30-minute complimentary consultation by phone or via Zoom, to see if we’re a good fit for working together.
Thank you for the photo Brett Jordan