Maria Connolly, LPC
Disappointment is a difficult emotion to deal with because it’s painful and generally comes from a loss of some kind. And, for most of us, it triggers harsh, critical, judgmental self-talk. Is that your default setting, too? But the good news is we can turn it on its head and use it to our advantage. Yes, there are benefits of disappointment!
You pin your hopes on getting that promotion, being hired for your dream job, or taking a relationship to a strong commitment. You’re nervous because you question whether you’re ready. You’re scared to step out of your comfort zone, but it’s exhilarating to think this could be your future! And then… you get the news you didn’t get it. It feels like you’ve been punched and you can’t breathe. How do you bounce back from setbacks like these?
It takes having a system in place for handling disappointment. It makes sense to plan for a disaster before it happens because once you’re in the middle of it, you won’t be able to think clearly. The same is true of life setbacks. They are going to happen, so if you have a practiced way of handling small setbacks, you’ll be able to handle large setbacks more easily.
We’ve all experienced it — that crushing, heart-wrenching, stomach-churning, bitter sensation when someone disappoints us. Perhaps the pain is even worse when it’s you disappointing others because you’re also disappointing yourself.
When we intensely want something we think about it, dream about it, and make detailed plans for it until we can taste it and see it like it’s already happened. And when these hopes and expectations go unfulfilled, that disappointment makes us bereft, drained and deflated. We feel like such a failure.
It’s no wonder we do our best to avoid putting this emotional pain upon ourselves or others. Too often we make unwise decisions or hold back from stepping forward because we’re driven by this thought —“I don’t want to disappoint anyone.”
When you think of the word excellence, what images spring to mind? Is it the fine craftsmanship of a superior sailing ship? Or perhaps you think of an influential leader who masterfully brings out the best in the crowds that flock to her. How do people achieve excellence like that?
Excellence is not only for an elite few. Admittedly, some people are predisposed to traits that come readily to them. But no one excels without dedication and consistent effort. Can you upgrade from ‘settling for good enough’ to ‘achieving excellence’? Yes!
You can be a coach without being a mentor. And you can be a mentor without being a coach. Isn’t this just a case of semantics? Don’t coaches, mentors, consultants, and trainers all do the same thing basically? No, there are subtle but vital differences that form the relationship between the client and the Mentor/Coach/Trainer/Counselor. You need to understand these differences to fully benefit from Mentor Coaching, which is the ultimate way to accelerate personal and professional growth. Mentor Coaching is like coaching on steroids!