The Secret to Influence: How To Engage Others With Emotional Awareness

Success in business and life is not achieved solely from the techniques or strategies you use or the way you execute them. That approach leaves out a vital component: the very core of success revolves around connection and keeping yourself and other people engaged. Whether in business, leadership, or personal life, when you engage others you captivate their attention and keep them emotionally invested in your projects. 

Understanding and managing emotions (both yours and others’) is key to being engaging and this is what will set you apart. Emotional and relational intelligence aren’t just buzzwords; they are the foundation of deeper, more authentic relationships and sustainable success. So the second E of my EMERGE method stands for Engage: Emotional & Relational Intelligence.

Let’s break down how to build deeper connections with those around you. Counterintuitively, it starts with strengthening self-awareness…

The Three Core Components Needed to Engage Others

1. Self-Awareness: Understanding Your Inner World

The first step to emotional intelligence is knowing yourself — your emotions, triggers, and patterns. Learning to name what you’re feeling rather than brushing it aside creates clarity and self-trust. 

When you start to notice recurring emotional responses in different situations, you’ll begin to see patterns that influence your choices. Are certain conversations always frustrating? Do you feel drained after specific interactions? Identifying these patterns helps you understand the deeper emotional currents at play.

Your triggers (those moments when an emotional reaction feels sudden or overwhelming) hold powerful information. By identifying the people, situations, or thoughts that set off strong reactions, you can mindfully choose to gain control over how you respond. Instead of being hijacked by emotions, you can recognize what’s happening and shift your approach. 

Finally, understanding how your emotions impact your decisions, relationships, and leadership gives you the power to align your responses with your values and long-term goals rather than reacting impulsively.

2. Emotion Regulation: Mastering Your Reactions

Managing your emotions doesn’t mean suppressing them. That only leads to inner conflict. You’re telling yourself you don’t deserve to give voice to your true self. A more sustainable approach is to respond with intention. 

Every situation presents a choice: react impulsively or pause and choose your response. Developing emotional regulation means cultivating the ability to take that pause and act from a place of awareness rather than reactivity. Techniques like breathwork, movement, and mindfulness are powerful tools to help shift emotional states, whether you need to calm down, refocus, or re-energize.

Expressing emotions effectively is another key skill. It’s not just about what you say but how you say it. When you articulate what you’re feeling without overwhelming others or withdrawing, you create deeper, more authentic connections. And because emotional challenges are inevitable, having go-to recovery practices, like counting to three, journaling, or walking outside ensures that you process emotions in a way that keeps you balanced and resilient.

3. Relationship Intelligence: Strengthening Your Connections

Navigating relationships with awareness and skill leads to stronger, more fulfilling interactions. Understanding social dynamics, the way emotions influence interactions, helps you engage with others more effectively. You start noticing unspoken cues, energy shifts, and the deeper needs behind people’s words.

Your communication patterns also play a huge role. Do you tend to avoid difficult conversations, over-explain, or rush to fix things? Refining how you express yourself can transform your relationships. Ask a clarifying question and confirm your understanding by paraphrasing what you heard to bring the focus of the conversation back to the most important topics. 

Equally important is boundary setting. Know where you end and another person begins. Setting and maintaining healthy emotional and relational boundaries ensures that you stay true to yourself while fostering respect with others.

Conflict is unavoidable, but how you navigate it makes all the difference. Approaching difficult conversations with curiosity rather than defensiveness allows for mutual understanding and resolution. Instead of seeing conflict as something to fear, it becomes an opportunity for deeper connection and clarity.

Key Practices to Engage Others

1. Track Your Emotions

One of the simplest ways to build self-awareness is through emotion tracking. Keep a journal or use a simple check-in system to notice and name your emotional states throughout the day. Awareness is the first step to meaningful change, and the more you recognize emotional shifts, the easier it becomes to regulate them.

Dream Big, Start Small” Here’s the one thing you can do today.

 

 

Try this 3-minute Somatic Regulation Exercise to reset your emotional state. Whether you need to ground yourself before a big meeting or release frustration after a stressful interaction, practicing regulation exercises helps you maintain balance and composure.

Step 1: Center With Breath (1 minute)
Stand or sit comfortably. Close your eyes or soften your gaze. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, hold for a count of two, and exhale through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat this cycle for one minute, letting each breath bring more calm and presence.

Step 2: Ground Through Movement (1 minute)
Bring gentle awareness to your body. Begin with simple shoulder rolls or swaying side to side. Press your feet into the floor, imagining you’re rooting down into the earth. Shake out your hands and arms to release any lingering tension. This movement allows your nervous system to discharge excess energy and come back into regulation.

Step 3: Mindful Awareness (1 minute)
Place one hand over your heart and the other on your belly. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?” Whatever comes up, name it silently. Without judgment, allow that emotion to be there. Acknowledge it, breathe into it, and gently ask, “What do I need in this moment?”

This somatic reset can be done in just a few minutes and is powerful enough to shift your state from reactive to reflective. Use it before a challenging conversation, during a stressful moment, or anytime you want to feel more present and empowered.

2. Map Your Relationships

Take some time to reflect on your key relationships. Which ones energize and support you? Which ones leave you feeling drained or tense? Mapping these dynamics helps you set better boundaries and intentionally invest in connections that truly nourish you.

3. Refine Your Communication Skills

Effective communication is a game-changer. Practice expressing yourself with clarity and confidence. Listen deeply, respond thoughtfully, and communicate from a place of awareness rather than reaction. When you show up in conversations with presence and intention, your relationships naturally deepen.

The Impact of Emotional & Relational Intelligence

When you engage others with emotional and relational intelligence, you become a more present leader, a more connected friend, and a more balanced individual. Your relationships will deepen, your stress will lessen, and your ability to navigate life’s challenges with grace will grow.

By strengthening these skills, you’re not just improving your personal and professional life. You’re creating a ripple effect of positive, intentional connection. Ready to engage others? 

My EMERGE method is training you to use your whole spectrum of intelligence. Here’s the overview, which only scratches the surface of what you can accomplish when you embrace this method.

E – Embody: Somatic & Energetic Intelligence

     Align your body and energy to enhance strength, vitality, and presence.

M – Mindset: Cognitive & Experiential Intelligence

     Train your mind to develop clarity, adaptability, and strategic thinking.

E – Engage: Emotional & Relational Intelligence 

      Strengthen self-awareness and build deeper, more authentic connections.

R – Resilience: Spiritual & Intuitive Intelligence

     Tap into inner strength, intuition, and purpose to navigate challenges.

G – Growth: Creative, Innovative & Learning Intelligence

     Expand your knowledge, creativity, and adaptability to keep evolving.

E – Expression: Communication,  Leadership & Influence Intelligence

      Confidently express your truth, influence others, and lead with authenticity.

If you’re interested in jumping in and getting started, please contact me.