Tag: business excellence

When you unlock your potential for precise, non-verbal communication, flexibility and overall performance, you can create a more elegant and powerful appearance as you confidently and easily communicate and build rapport with colleagues clients, friends and family.

Improve Your Personal and Business Communication through Touch

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Fearless Mindset, Health and Wellness, Life Skills, Mindfulness, Somatic Coaching.

Aren’t you drawn to warm, affectionate people? We feel immediately comfortable with them. What is it that makes them so approachable? It might be the warmth of their smile or their eye contact with you.

However, if you pay attention, you might be surprised to find how often warm people touch others. They shake hands with firm, full palm contact…not a limp-fish handshake. They may even pat you on the shoulder as they shake your hand. Or they let their hand rest just for a moment on your forearm. Or they greet you with a side hug, knowing that a full hug seems too intimate and may make you uncomfortable. All during the conversation, they continue to communicate through touch.

Touch is our primary language of compassion. Maybe you can remember a time when you were hurting, and a trusted confidante or parent enveloped you in their arms. Your heartbeat slowed, your sobs subsided, and you were able to breathe again. Touch changed your life at that moment. You knew you were not alone. Someone was there for you.

Communication through touch is fundamental to human bonding and health. At Berkeley University of California they studied whether people can communicate compassion through touch. They built a barrier in the lab that separated two strangers. One person stuck his or her arm through the barrier and waited. The other person was given a list of emotions. He or she had to try to convey each emotion through a one-second touch to the stranger’s forearm. The person whose arm was being touched had to guess the emotion.

Remarkably, the guesses were correct nearly 60 percent of the time. They got the emotions – gratitude, anger, love, and fear – right more than 50 percent of the time. Gender seems to have a bearing on the results. Interestingly, when a woman tried to communicate anger to a man, he had no idea what she was doing. And when a man tried to communicate compassion to a woman, she didn’t understand it.

In another study these researchers found, “People can not only identify love, gratitude, and compassion from touches but can differentiate between those kinds of touch, something people haven’t done as well in studies of facial and vocal communication.”

People understand your words better if you touch them. No that doesn’t mean if you’re angry you should punch someone. However, when you’re working to keep the line of communication open enough so that you can touch them, you’ll be more mindful about controlling your emotions. As you touch them, it reminds you that you love and appreciate this person and you want to mend the rift in your relationship, which helps you calm down. And they will feel that intention despite the hurt or anger and will be more open to listening to you.

Do you see how powerful touch can become in your communication? Which do you think will have more success? Yelling at your daughter to “get in here” then standing with your hands on your hips glaring at her? Or putting your hand on her shoulder, guiding her to the couch where you can sit closely as you look her in the eye and discuss the problem earnestly?

In the office, which will create greater team spirit and employee loyalty? Sitting behind your desk, writing on a notepad as you talk with an employee? Or greeting the employee at the door with a handshake and pat on the shoulder as you guide them to chairs that are next to each other?

Remember, to pay close attention to the signals that someone might be uncomfortable with being touched. You want to respect their boundaries so you don’t unwittingly increase their stress. Also, because of your background and upbringing, you may not feel comfortable with touching or being touched. But you can choose to make changes in an effort to improve your communication skills. It’s a basic human need. Not only will it make you healthier, it will make your relationships thrive.

Somatic coaching and therapy is an excellent way to create subtle shifts in how you use your body to influence, listen, and communicate. If you’re ready to make real and lasting changes in how you relate to others, contact me to learn how in a way that leaves you feeling wonderful and at peace.

Touch is just one of the indicators of a healthy life. Take the 7-Point Body Wellness Assessment to see how you measure up. Click here to download your free copy. And don’t forget that January 21, 2016 is National Hugging Day. Who will you hug?

Breathe Your Way to Wellness With the Yoga Alternate Nostril Breathing Technique

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Controlling Stress, Health and Wellness, Life Skills, Mindfulness.

Do you find that you don’t appreciate the little experiences of each day as much as you should, whether it’s a pleasant conversation, a delightful meal or a spectacular sunset? Don’t you owe it to yourself to savour these gifts? We can all create greater appreciation and connection with our world by slowing down and becoming more aware. Connecting our appreciation with our breathing is an excellent way to do this.

In my last post I shared some breathing exercises for you to try. Do you find that you forget to deeply breathe for days on end? It’s not unusual that your mind gets busy with day-to-day concerns and that it has trouble quieting down. One thing I’ve found to be very helpful is to leave visual reminders throughout your home, car and office. It could be as simple as coloured dots strategically placed to catch your eye and remind you to slow down and breathe. Or you could use fashionable wall art, signs, or shelf decoration that remind you to breathe.

Rather than worrying about the past or the future, learn to be present in the moment.

Use breathing to achieve awareness. Practice cueing your breathing process throughout the day in a variety of good and bad circumstances (cooking a meal, travelling to work, talking with a co-worker). Breathing in reminds you to open yourself fully to the experience, to how you feel, what you’re thinking, and how you’re reacting. Breathing out lets the tension, worry, and anxiety flow away. The next inhalation opens you again.

You can counteract emotional distress, fear, grief and anxiety by simply learning to breathe through the experience. It doesn’t matter if the strong emotion is caused by something real or imagined. What you perceive or believe in your mind manifests in your body in a physical way. You become tense, and tension affects your ability to think clearly, act rationally, breathe deeply and relax. Tension also causes pain, anxiety and panic. Shallow breathing serves in a self-protective function – that of cutting off a feeling you don’t want to handle. On the other hand, if you can learn to release your strong emotions through breathing awareness, you can break the negative, destructive power of these strong emotions. The conscious use of breath is a valuable tool in learning to express emotions appropriately.

Today I’d like to teach you how to do the yoga alternate nostril breathing, which will significantly enhance your emotional wellbeing. Involving both nostrils allows your body to become balanced. But first you must increase your awareness of imbalanced breathing so you can bring it back into balance. I encourage you to do this exercise in short practice sessions daily.

Exhale completely, using both nostrils.
Press your finger against your right nostril, closing it completely.
Inhale slowly and smoothly through the left nostril only.
Hold that inhaled breath for a few comfortable seconds.
Then close the left nostril and exhale through the right nostril.
Hold while comfortable.
Inhale through the right nostril only.
Release your left nostril and close off the right.
Exhale through the left nostril. Hold.
Keep switching between left and right nostrils as you inhale and exhale rhythmically for a total of 10 to 15 sets.
Go back to breathing through both nostrils.

Your body really does know how to heal itself if you provide it with the balance and harmony it needs. Breathing is a primary method for correcting any disharmony. Learn to listen to what your body is telling you as it attempts to regain balance. Responding to those messages and you’ll feel more centered and at peace as you learn to accept your limitations and be forgiving of yourself and others.

More than creating greater satisfaction in life, proper breathing can increase your concentration, assist you to tune into your deeper, creative self, AND make you physically, emotionally and mentally healthier. Are you ready to feel a greater connectedness with your family, friends, community, and the Earth? Contact me and I’ll support, coach and hold you accountable as you create the deeply meaningful life you crave.

Tap into the Powerful Anatomy of Breathing to Promote Better Health

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Health and Wellness, Life Skills, Mindfulness.

Air is the first food of the newborn. ~ Edward Rosenfeld

Does it seem strange that we need to learn how to breathe properly? Don’t we breathe naturally from the moment we’re born? And we couldn’t quit, even if we wanted. If we hold our breath, our bodies force us to gasp for air. If we’re deprived of it for only a matter of minutes, we suffer.

So can there really be a right or wrong way to breath? Is there a way to harness your breathing to create a greater connection with your world as you release stress and tension? Could stress relief simply be a breath away? Why is it vital that we stop taking our ability to breathe for granted?

To answer these questions, let’s consider how breathing promotes better health…

With each breath of clean air, the diaphragm and other muscles pulls the chest cavity down while elevating and widening the rib cage, thereby creating a larger area for the lungs to expand fully as they pull in oxygen. Your red blood cells absorb this oxygen and transport it via your blood stream to every cell in your body. As these oxygen-rich cells travel through your system, there are countless chemical interactions that result in giving you greater energy and mental clarity.

The problem is that aspects of a modern lifestyle restrict our daily breathing process. What are some of these?

Pollution

Our environment may be polluted by toxic elements from car exhaust, industrial pollution, off gassing of chemicals like formaldehyde in the rugs and furnishings in our homes. Another problem is the self-imposed pollution of smoking tobacco.

Lack of Oxygen

Our homes are so tightly sealed up for the winter that there’s little air exchange, so we’re not getting an adequate supply of fresh oxygen. We wear restrictive clothing or have poor posture that doesn’t allow us to breathe deeply.

Restrictive Emotions

We carry harmful emotions that restrict our airflow such as anger, fear, anxiety and grief. Breathlessness can be caused by anxiety.

What do these restrictions to our anatomy of breathing do to your health?

Your metabolism slows down.
Your brain can’t function optimally, producing brain fog.
Your organs are starved of oxygen reducing their function and the quality of your life.
The elasticity of the lungs diminishes causing shallow breathing.
Relationships suffer because you become short tempered, irritated, and on edge.

How can enhancing the anatomy of breathing promote better health?

Just ask any pregnant woman in labor or athlete who wants to excel at their sport if they benefited from learning how to breathe in a more focused way. They will resoundingly answer “Yes!” Breathing isn’t just for critical times like these. It’s important for everyone to create an awareness of how we are breathing every day. How do we do that?

There are two main ways to incorporate healthier breathing techniques…

Practice proper posture. Throughout the day we do many things that restrict our breathing, such as slouching. The solution is to strengthen the core muscles of the abdomen, buttocks, thighs, and genital region. Also concentrate on keeping your shoulders rotated up and back, opening up the chest and bringing the spine into alignment.

Periodically expand your lungs to their fullest capacity. Do this exercise while still in bed every morning. Then again numerous times throughout the day as you’re either sitting or standing. Remember to breathe through your nose.

Exhale slowly, as you pull in your belly muscles.
Inhale slowly as you expand the abdomen.
Continue inhaling as you expand your rib cage.
Continue inhaling as you feel your collarbone lift.
Pause briefly, without holding.
Exhale in reverse order slowly. Release the shoulders, relax the chest, tighten the belly.
Do as many times as is comfortable.

Practice breathing so the inhalation and exhalation are of equal duration. Next, push the exhalation to become a little longer. The more you practice, the greater your awareness will become. Do you wish there was someone guiding you toward greater mindfulness in your life? Contact me and we’ll discuss your heath goals and how you can achieve them.

Healthy breathing is just one indicator of your wellness. There are seven to keep in mind if you want to perform at your peak. If you haven’t taken the 7-Point Body Wellness Assessment yet, click here to download your free copy.

Supercharge your Power of Concentration by Learning How to Focus Better

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Controlling Stress, Health and Wellness, Life Skills, Mindfulness, NLP, Private Practice Advice, Somatic Coaching.

Are there times when you struggle to focus on the task at hand? Perhaps that’s because there’s too much going on in your attentional field. What’s that? It’s a term used to describe everything within your attention span – your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, sights and sounds around you. Right now your attention is on the website reading this, but you may at the same time be distracted by other things like the mug of tea you’re sipping, the sound of your child or pet in the background, the thoughts of a deadline looming later today.

Focus is the ability to attend to internal cues (what’s going on inside of you, your feelings and thoughts) and external cues (what’s going on around you, like the knock on the door) in your attentional field. In all areas of life, whether you’re giving a presentation at work, having an important conversation with your spouse or training for a marathon, in order to excel you need to be able to focus.

What can you do to learn how to focus better? Here are two main skills you’ll need to master:

In order to tap into the tremendous power of concentration, determine what the relevant cues to the task at hand are and learn to focus only on them. We learn to selectively focus on or block out cues every day, otherwise the background noises and activities would drive us crazy.

Think about a star ball player. He must be in tune to his technique, his opponent, the score, the referee, the coach, and time remaining on the scoreboard, to name only a few cues vying for his attention. What would happen if his focus shifted to the pretty girl in the bleachers? He, in all likelihood, might miss the ball flying towards him. Hence at this point and time, that pretty girl would be considered a performance-irrelevant cue that must be ignored.

So the second skill for achieving better focus is determining what the performance-irrelevant cues are so you can ignore them as you strive to excel. These would be anything that would hurt your performance when you must accomplish a task.

There are two types of harmful cues that you’ll encounter:

Interfering cues are those that directly hurt your performance such as negative thoughts, anxiety, and concern over what others think.

Irrelevant cues are those that distract you from an effective focus including what restaurant you’ll go to tonight, the project that you must finish by tomorrow, or that pretty girl in the bleachers.

Each of us has a different dominant focus style, which is what we default to under stress. We pay attention in two distinct ways. These two focus styles are…

Internal-focus style. These people are totally and consistently focused during a specific activity like a presentation, a practice session or a competition. They need to keep their focus narrow, thinking only about their performance all the time. The down side of this intensity is that they also tend to be easily distracted by their surroundings.

External-focus style. These people only focus on their specific activity when they’re about to begin the event or competition. They function better by taking their mind off of the activity at all other times, because they tend to over-think, becoming negative, critical, and anxious. For them to excel, they must focus on other things when they’re not actually performing.

Neither approach is right or wrong. The important thing is identifying your focus style and utilizing it to improve your powers of concentration. If you’re trying to force yourself to adopt a style other than your own, you’ll find that under pressure you’ll revert back to your normal style and that could really throw you off your game.

Would you like assistance in utilizing your personal style to excel at everything you do? We can work together in person or via Skype. Please contact me and I’ll be happy to help you identify your weakness and learn how to tap into your strengths.

A good place to begin is by taking my 7-Point Wellness Assessment. You can download your free copy by clicking here.

How to Deal with Fear – Ten Ways to Cultivate a Fearless Mindset

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Controlling Stress, Fearless Mindset, Life Skills.

“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have you experienced fear lately? Were you afraid to try something new? To push yourself outside your comfort zone? To say something you feared would start a confrontation? Did you meet it head on or did you retreat and run away? How did your response make you feel? Empowered or powerless?

Dictionaries define fear as: “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Because we shy away from what is unpleasant, I challenge you to redefine the word fear this way: “This feeling of fear is alerting me to an opportunity to become more fully aware of my surroundings and connect with my inner power to handle whatever is happening.”

Just as children first love sweets then, as they mature to adulthood, they develop a taste for the full palate of flavors – bitter coffee and endive, savory chili peppers, salty anchovies, and sour lemon – we can mature and embrace each uncomfortable sensation as an opportunity for growing and enriching our experience in life. To help you reframe your feelings and learn how to deal with fear and worry, here are ten ways to cultivate a fearless mindset:

Fully acknowledge and accept your feeling of fear. Everyone feels fear. By being fully present in your feelings, you can embrace it as a friend that teaches you about yourself.

Change your right/wrong attitude to a can’t-lose attitude. Regardless of the decision you make, there will be positive rewards. You may or may not attain your desired goal. No matter what, you haven’t failed. You’ve learning what you’re capable of and gained a greater self-awareness of your strengths and weakness. Upon reflection you’ll see what you can do to achieve greater skills so you can excel.

See the benefits of facing your fear. Avoiding, running and hiding only reinforces your fears. When you gain confidence and put yourself out there, you’ll make stronger connections with family and friends. You’ll be sharing solutions with co-workers and clients. You’ll be true to yourself. And those who love you will accept you for who you are. Those who have a problem with your authenticity don’t need to be in your life anyway.

Recognize fears that you’ve inherited. Not everyone has supportive parents who instill the belief that you can do and be anything you want to be. Fears around money, sex, and self-worth are some of the issues that stem from your upbringing.

Identify where the fear is coming from. What you say you fear may not necessarily be what you really fear. For example, if you’re afraid of public speaking, in actuality you might really fear rejection, feeling foolish or failing. When you identify the underlying issues, you can focus on resolving them.

Celebrate your growth. Don’t forget each time you’ve been challenged and have pushed your comfort zone further out. Remember it’s not about winning or losing. It’s that you handled it!

Avoid comparisons, which only lead to feelings of inadequacy. Your life experiences are unique to you. Own how YOU feel and don’t worry about what someone else would do in the situation.

Recognize fear as an alert system to protect against valid dangers. Fearless doesn’t mean reckless. Life is fragile and we must exercise proper precautions in times of danger.

Take baby steps if you feel overwhelmed. If you fear swimming, jumping in the deep end of the pool will not help you. Slowly easing into the water and having positive experiences will build your confidence and feelings of control. Often having a mentor to guide you is what’s needed to get you past the roadblocks.

Find your support system. When you can voice your fears out loud to someone you trust, you release the pressure, and the challenge may not be as large as you first felt. They know you well and their helpful feedback and support can instill a renewed confidence in you.

If you want to learn more about how to deal with fear and cultivate a fearless mindset, I recommend you get Susan Jeffers’ book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: Dynamic techniques for turning Fear, Indecision and Anger into Power, Action and Love.

Do you feel it’s time to step towards your fears and learn to embrace them so you can create excellence in your life? I’m here to help. Contact me and let’s talk about what your next, best step might be.

Tag: business excellence

Improve Your Personal and Business Communication through Touch

Breathe Your Way to Wellness With the Yoga Alternate Nostril Breathing Technique

Tap into the Powerful Anatomy of Breathing to Promote Better Health

Supercharge your Power of Concentration by Learning How to Focus Better

How to Deal with Fear – Ten Ways to Cultivate a Fearless Mindset

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