Maria Connolly, LPC
Balance requires that you prioritizing what’s important to you – career, health, pleasure, love, family, spirituality, physical environment, and personal development.
Do you feel like you’re always battling against the clock and there’s not enough time to do what you need to get done, let alone what you want to do? And since your long to-do list is never finished, maybe you’re always nagged by a feeling of failure. Here’s a secret that can help: the best time management tips are built not on being task oriented but upon creating a mindful state of mind.
It’s normal to want to be loved, to fit in, and to be accepted. We care what other’s think. That’s why we all do the dance of give and take – we’re trying to find our place in our family, the workplace, our community and the world. And if you start from a grounded, well-balanced sense of self and others, it isn’t so difficult to stand up for yourself, celebrate the unique person you are, and be your own woman. However, many women have learned that being a people pleaser is safer.
“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” ~ Barack Obama
If you want to keep your sanity, make sure you do one real thing every day. That’s what the character Jethro Gibbs of NCIS and all great leaders teach us. When Gibbs needs to decompress and become grounded, he turns to woodworking in his basement. Think about it…Winston Churchill had his painting, J.F.K. went sailing with his family, Condoleezza Rice loves golfing, Maya Angelou danced, and Angela Merkel loves to hike. Do you see a pattern? Effective leaders make time to do something real, some sort of physical activity that makes them feel their bodies and minds connected within themselves and with the earth, to be grounded.
“It’s a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately filling up space.” ~ Pema Chodron
Shelly, a client, is a person of action. Her brain is constantly whirling, and she always has something to say, which often causes her to superficially listen to others. And while she gets a lot done personally, she tends to either micromanage or shift between projects so fast it makes her team scratch their heads wondering what’s going on. To bring more balance to her life, together we worked out that she needed to engage The Power Of Pause to be more mindfully aware and present, thereby keeping her team in step with her. As a result, now they’re working cohesively and are accomplishing the goals they’ve set for themselves.
Could you benefit from using The Power Of Pause more often? Well, if you feel stressed (Who doesn’t?) or have said or done something you regret, then the answer is “Yes!” I think we all feel better when we mindfully learn to use this superpower more often.
“Stay committed to your decisions but flexible in your approach.” ~ Tony Robbins
“Why is it so hard to keep my commitment to myself, when I always keep my commitments to others?” That’s what a client asked, and I assured her she’s not alone. I’ve been there myself. However, mindfully contemplating this very revealing question uncovered some deeply held beliefs and, as a result, opened up opportunities for major personal growth, improving her self-esteem and self-leadership skills.
Can you relate? You want to lose weight, but your family likes goodies, so you stock the cupboards with them in mind, knowing it’s going to make it harder on you. Or you want a regular exercise program, but your sister calls and wants to go shopping…oh, well, you can exercise later, right? But that doesn’t happen.
Here are some commitments to self we tend to make and break. What would you add to this list?