Building Inner Strength to be the Real YOU! Inner Compass & Core Values — Tool 3

Strong core muscles are essential for good health because weak core muscles can lead to more fatigue, less endurance and injuries. Stability, balance, ease of movement, and even improved physical appearance depend on us maintaining a strong core. This also applies to building inner strength — our mental power or endurance, such as willpower, courage, self-confidence, or self-discipline:. Hence, the third tool of the Inner Fitness Challenge is our Inner Compass Calibrated by Core Values.  

Why do we do the things we do, even when we don’t want to?

Sometimes I don’t understand myself… you too? We cave in to peer pressure, which isn’t just something teens have to deal with, by the way! We make commitments while deep down we know we’re not going to keep them. We’re afraid of vulnerability so we hide behind humor and deflection so no one can ever see the real us, as if being real gives others the power to hurt us. We want one thing, but we self-sabotage so we don’t get it. And that’s just some of the “games” we play with ourselves and others.

Understanding yourself better may take the help of  a professional. However, greater self knowledge is a corollary or natural result from taking baby steps toward developing more inner strength. Here’s why…

Building Inner Strength Begins With…

We all have an inner compass that guides us through life. It tells us “Yes, you can do that” or “No, don’t go there”. But sometimes we don’t get clear signals. 

Rather than directing us to our true north as a compass should, our inner compass can be interfered with. Strong external forces (unexpected circumstances or people who have stronger personalities or positions than us) can override our sense of direction, like a magnet misaligns the needle of a compass.

The ideal situation is to possess the skills to resourcefully bring your inner compass needle back to your true north. The key to building that kind of inner strength is calibrating your inner compass with strong core values. 

Assumptions like the following can begin to adjust your inner compass to believe that you are okay and you can heal. You don’t necessarily need to believe them yet. They will just become a helpful map to create your new inner and outer environment: 

• I am not broken. 

• I function perfectly based on my unique history.

• I have all that I need to heal, grow and become the person I’m supposed to be. 

• I know what is good for me/my life/my unique situation 

• The Universe/God/Nature is on my side and responds to my requests. 

How to Calibrate Your Inner Compass With YOUR Core Values

It’s so important to clearly define your own core values and not mindlessly adopt someone else’s. Here are four reasons why:

1. Defining your values gives you purpose. When we don’t know or we haven’t clearly defined our values, we end up drifting along in life. Instead of basing our decisions on our inner compass. We make choices based on circumstances or internal and social pressures. We end up trying to fulfill other people’s expectations instead of our own. And before we know it, we live far away from our deep truth. Trying to be someone else and living without core values is downright exhausting and leaves us feeling unfulfilled and unmotivated. On the other hand, living a life in line with our core values brings purpose, direction, happiness and wholeness.

2. Defining your values helps you make good choices. Perhaps we have a vague idea about what we value and prioritize. But if we haven’t clearly defined our values, we can end up making choices that conflict with them. And when our actions conflict with our values, the result is unhappiness, frustration and ultimately stagnation. 

3. Defining your values gives you confidence. When you consider and reflect upon what you truly value, and then write those things down, you’re more likely to have the courage and confidence to make choices based on those values. There’s something profoundly powerful about actually writing down our values. It makes us more committed to aligning with them. 

4. Defining your values makes life simpler. When we’re sure of our core values, decision-making becomes much simpler. When faced with a choice, we simply ask ourselves: “Does this action align with what I care about/what is important to me?” If it does, we do it. If it doesn’t, we don’t. Instead of worrying over what’s the best thing to do, and quavering in times of crisis, we can simply let our internal compass guide us. 

So the first step to building inner strength is knowing what your core values are…

Your “Dream Big, Start Small” here’s the one thing you can do today.

Use the list of common values (from the image above or this blog post) Choose ten words that reflect what you value most. Some of the words are similar, so choose the words that best describe what you value. 

Number these words from 1-10 according to importance for you. You’ll ultimately use the first five for this exercise. Feel free to substitute other words if they better reflect your values. Then ask yourself the following two questions. This exercise should take less than 15 minutes. 

1. How do you currently cultivate each one of these five values? 

2. Where might you fall short in living in harmony with your values? 

As you assess and name your core values, no doubt memories will flood through your mind. Your body will even give you clues by the sensations you experience as you think about each value. It would be good to note how your body sensations reveal your top 10.

It takes time to figure out what makes you YOU. Here’s another small exercise that will strengthen your inner compass by owning your core values.Throughout the day, ask yourself, “Do I agree with that, does this feel right for me?” Read a book, watch a show, listen to a speaker, with that question in mind, and you’ll find yourself saying, “I wouldn’t have done that,” or, “I wish I was more like that.”

As you continue to develop your inner strength, it’s helpful to pause and assess each habit, routine, impulse, and reaction, otherwise, they’ll control you rather than you controlling them. Work at creating a pattern of thinking that keeps you in a mindful, intentional frame of mind, rather than a reactive mode.

I’d love to hear from you during the Inner Fitness Challenge. Comment under any of my Inner Fitness Challenge posts on Facebook or LinkedIn. Let’s share our experiences during this challenge. All the tools will be posted there, so please bookmark it and visit every Monday and Wednesday for updates. And to follow the Inner Fitness Challenge on my website, bookmark my blog.  

Photo by Minna Hamalainen