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Continually grow as a person and find your work/life balance

Crisis and Trauma: When the Present Collides with the Past

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Self-Leadership Skills.

When you experience a current crisis and trauma from the past resurfaces because of it, it’s important to listen to what your emotions are telling you.On May 6th, 1976 right around 9pm the ground began to shake. I lived in northern Italy and I was six and a half. I was at home with my 3 year old brother and my grandma. My parents were on their way home from work.

The building we lived in shook for what felt like an eternity. I didn’t know what an earthquake was but I knew that houses were not supposed to shake. Because of her age, my grandma froze and the three of us huddled in the dark kitchen, until my father came to get us.

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Compassionate Listening Heals Those Who Speak and Who Listen

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Healthy Relationships, Self-Leadership Skills.

Compassionate listening helps heal the one speaking and the one listening, bearing witness to their pain, their story, forming a bond of understanding.“Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” ~ Krista Tippett

After the Alameda fire devastated our beautiful Rogue Valley on September 8th, I wanted to help beyond Go-Fund-Me and food/clothing donations. My search was rewarded when I attended a training on compassionate listening organized by the Hearth Community in Ashland. It reaffirmed to me the intense and healing power in the act of compassionate listening, when we engage both our ears and our hearts.

During the training we listened to each other – we got to bring to life all of our emotions in a healing circle. As each person spoke, we all felt safer and stronger as a community. That’s the power of gathering together for compassionate listening.

As I go through each day now, I listen for the many stories about what happened on September 8. One in particular stands out to me, and I’d love to share her story with you —

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Self-Discovery – The Most Enriching Journey You’ll Ever Take

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills.

Make YOUR journey of self-discovery exciting and enjoyable. Learn simple techniques that are key to making self-discovery insightful and productive.“Know yourself. Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” ~ Ann Landers

Growing up, I learned to associate academic achievement with self-worth. That was the message — you have worth if you get an A; and you don’t, if you don’t succeed. With wisdom, I’ve come to learn that this message was faulty. I can still get satisfaction from taking classes and learning, but these days I practice kindness and self-love to deepen my self-worth.

To want to get to know yourself — from the inside, not through other’s expectations — is a radical act of love. To be genuinely curious about YOU, what you like, love, prefer, aspire to, is the beginning of the most beautiful journey you will ever take…the journey to self-discovery.

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Unlearn the Lessons of a Toxic Childhood — You Deserve to be Loved!

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Healthy Relationships, Self-Leadership Skills.

A toxic childhood teaches you many unhealthful and unhelpful lessons; and it fails to teach you the most valuable lesson — that you’re worthy of love. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ~ Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Do you think that love always comes with strings attached? That if someone is a winner then you’re a loser? That you need to placate everyone? That being neglected or abused verbally or physically is normal and you make excuses for it? That emotions make you vulnerable and weak? That it’s better to feel nothing? That you’re on your own?

Then it’s highly likely you’ve learned “lessons” from a toxic childhood that are neither healthful nor accurate. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the neglect and abuse you suffered in your toxic childhood. You didn’t deserve to be ignored for days on end. You didn’t deserve the belittling and constant criticism. You were not to blame.

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When You Teach People How to Treat You, Start with These 8 Pillars of Conduct

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Self-Leadership Skills.

When you teach people how to treat you, you’ll get the best results when you begin with an examination of how you treat yourself and behaviors you allow. “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” ~ Brené Brown

You deserve to be treated with value and respect. You may not feel that you do because of how others have treated you throughout your life. You don’t deserve to be mistreated. Yet there are some questions to consider: Do we, in any way, bear some responsibility? Is it possible to improve difficult relationships? Can you really teach people how to treat you better?

Teaching people to treat you better doesn’t mean you’re demanding they cater to your every whim and never disagree with you. All healthy relationships need a balance of give and take.

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