Balance requires that you prioritizing what’s important to you – career, health, pleasure, love, family, spirituality, physical environment, and personal development.
“Self-care is, fundamentally, about bringing balance back to a life that has grown imbalanced from too many commitments or responsibilities.” ~ Robyn L. Gobin, author of The Self-Care Prescription
How has the COVID-19 pandemic affected your work routine? Do you still go to the office to work? Or were you forced to work from home? Perhaps you already worked from home as an entrepreneur, coach or business owner. Whatever your circumstances, this unique time in our history creates an opportunity to think about what you really want from life, including whether or not you’ll work from home post pandemic.
As with many of my clients, I had to quickly learn how to work from home. Thankfully, I was already using Zoom to work with clients who live in different parts of the country (and the world!) so was able to transition to that format very easily. I’m also grateful I already had self-leadership and self-care practices and routines in place, which allow me to balance new demands in a healthful way. It’s like riding a bicycle — we have to keep moving forward to keep your balance.
Do you ever read or hear something that speaks to you deeply? It happened again to me recently and I wish to share it with you in the hopes that it brings you as much inner peace, softness and joy as it did for me. I’m sure you’ll agree that now, more than ever, finding inner peace is something we can all use.
Because we live in such strange and harsh times, we do well to seek solace from within. When the world around us is not a soft and nourishing place, we must be able to rely on our own inner resources of gentleness, kindness, equanimity and peace.
“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
This pandemic doesn’t seem like it’s going away any time soon. As the days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into months, our patience may begin to run thin. Since we know this, it will be helpful to review how you can become more lovingly patient with yourself.
While you may plan to use the stay-at-home order to feverishly clean your home, write a book, or work on increasing your mastery of a new skill, you might find yourself feeling too down to do so. And that might lead you to feeling worthless or unproductive.
Now is not the time to put such undue pressure on yourself. The stress and worry of trying to make sense of these unpredictable times, is hard on us, whether we admit it or not. It can’t help but change us, as it changes the very world around us.
“There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” ~ Henry Wordsworth
The world has been dealing with grief, even before we were struck by the COVID-19 pandemic. But consuming a steady diet of the negative is not a healthy way to deal with grief. It will have a detrimental affect on our health — physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That’s why many people choose to limit their exposure to bad news and intentionally calm their minds.
However, we can’t ignore the impact this pandemic has had on our lives. We are forced to address how to deal with grief, because it’s affecting each of us. Besides losing loved ones to coronavirus, we’re grieving our lack of freedom, our old normal and being able to connect with friends and family. We thrive on touch, so we’re grieving our lack of social interactions. We’re grieving that our peace, comfort, and happiness could be taken from us as we lose a job we love and an income we rely on.
Grief is a healthy human emotion that we need to make peace with so it can do its job and then let us go on living fully despite our loss. Not that we will forget, but it will release its hold on us so that we’re not stuck in time.
Do you remember that time when you “got up from the wrong side of bed” and the bad mood persisted all day long? You felt like you should go back to bed and stay there, right? And then there are other days where good things just keep rolling in, like you’re a magnet for all the good in the Universe. Why can two days be so different? You’re the same person, aren’t you? Actually, you’re not.
Every day we put ourselves in a different emotional and mental state. For example, you go to bed fired up about tomorrow’s project, so you wake early, eager to jump out of bed. If, on the other hand, you go to bed worn out, grumpy, and anxious, the chances are the next day isn’t going to go so well.
What you do and how you feel is determined by the state you’re in. Your emotions and attitudes control everything in your life — your mood, your decisions, your actions. So the big question is: if you start the day in a negative state, how do you switch over to a positive state?
I love the Emotional Triad that Tony Robbins came up with. It helps us visualize how to become grounded and achieve our center. The idea is to try to keep the three sides of your Emotional Triangle in balance. The good news is that we can learn to mindfully change and manage each pattern or behavior that throws us off balance.
What is the Emotional Triad? Visualize a triangle that has these three sides printed on it…
Emotional Triad Side 1: What are you doing with your body? Tony names this side “Physiology.”
We are somatic creatures – our emotions affect our bodies and vice versa. If you improve your posture, you’ll experience a feeling of confidence and alertness. If you slump, your mood will slump. Try it right now. Stand up straight and breathe deeply. Reach your arm in an upwardly sweeping motion. Smile. Dance in place. Observe how this body movement changes your emotions. This knowledge is powerful!
Emotional Triad Side 2: What are you focusing on or believing? Tony names this side “Focus.”
As Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” Focus on the positive and set your intention on what’s important to you. Don’t let your mind wonder to the “what if,” or the “I can’t,” or the “I’m not.” Visualize the powerful and competent person you are and want to be. By setting your focus on the positive, your mental and emotional state will shift.
Emotional Triad Side 3: What are you saying to yourself? Tony names this side “Language.”
Name calling, second guessing, doubting, criticizing, blaming – these do not build good relationships with other people, so why would you talk to yourself that way and destroy your relationship with yourself? Cultivate greater awareness of the words and tone you use when you engage in self-talk. Do you see patterns of self-hatred or self-abuse? Then switch out that word, phrase or tone to one that shows self-compassion and self-love.
Get into the habit of mindfully assessing your Emotional Triad and change what isn’t promoting the positive emotional and mental state you desire. If one side of your Emotional Triad isn’t as strong as you want it to be, I’d love to work with you to strengthen it! Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype).
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I invite you to learn more about me and my coaching and counseling services. Please contact me to schedule an “It starts with you!” 30-minute complimentary consultation with me, in-person, by phone or via video consultation, so we can explore our partnership.
“Self-care is, fundamentally, about bringing balance back to a life that has grown imbalanced from too many commitments or responsibilities.” ~ Robyn L. Gobin, author of The Self-Care Prescription
