Embody Love — Where the Body Is the Mind and Heart Will Follow
He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. · She loved everything about her…the softness of her skin…and when she smiled…she was over the moon! · He could get lost in his eyes for hours, as they talked about nothing and everything into the wee hours of the morning. · He couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was his life. She was The One.
Love is an all-encompassing emotion. It’s not just a matter of the heart. Science shows that the biology of love is largely directed by chemicals released in the brain that trigger responses throughout the body. Sweaty palms, the wildly beating heart, the breathlessness of attraction are responses to the innate need to connect and keep the genetic line flowing. You can’t separate any part of your body from the sensation of love — your entire body is involved. The deepest connections occur when you embody love.
Forgetting this fundamental human state is the reason relationships come apart. When our mind begins to disconnect, so our body follows, sending signals of rejection or lack of interest. We may even be doing this unconsciously, but a partner can read it in our bodies, long before our brains catch up.
We can use this knowledge of love to rekindle love and keep love growing. We can learn to embody love — the whole body being attuned to your intention to love.
Your body knows how to love instinctively. Your eyes deeply look into his eyes. Your hands reach out, as if they have a will of their own. You step closer, breathing in his scent. Your hearts beat as one.
Love will last when you embody love in all you say and do. Remember how you were when you fell in love and consciously practice the same thing today. Firstly, determine if you have difficulty doing any of the following things. This indicates whether your desire for intimacy is being blocked by another Part of you.
- You can’t meet his eyes or keep eye contact.
- You shrug off or draw away from his touch.
- When he steps towards you, you step back.
- When you converse you keep a table or distance between you.
- When you speak you can hear the sharpness and irritation in your voice.
These are reversible symptoms of disconnect. A very important step toward rekindling love is to get your mind engaged once again by remembering the good times you’ve had together. This will fuel your desire to reconnect on a deeper level. Then look for opportunities to embody love while practicing the following suggestions often throughout the day:
- Soften your eyes and meet his gaze.
- Deepen your gaze gently.
- Reach out and touch his arm as you speak.
- Choose to sit in the chair closest to him or on the couch next to him.
- Express gratitude for the commendable qualities he possesses — connect with who he is, not with what he does.
- Choose kind, upbuilding words.
- Never give up.
- If you’re rebuffed today, try again tomorrow. This gives him space to get used to and trust something new.
“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.”
~ Doménico Cieri Estrada
You can’t fight love. It will win in the end. A consistent practice of love can soften your partner and warm up your relationship again. And even if a relationship ends, love will calm the hurt and vanquish resentment, so there’s no lingering regrets to haunt you.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglia
To embody love takes personal strength and well-thought-out intentions to be loving no matter what happens. It means mindfully being aware of how the unique sensations of your body inform you of your true emotions, so you can self-regulate and become centered again. No one can take that away from you. When you embody love, it’s always there in the warmth of your gaze, the gentleness of your touch, the thoughtfulness of your words and actions, the forgiveness of wrongs.
Would you like to learn more about the practice of embodiment? I encourage you to download and practice the principles outlined in my free report, 10 Steps to an Embodied Practice. It will help improve your relationship with yourself, then you can improve your relationship with others.