“I feel so comfortable with her. She really gets me.” “I just met her, but it feels like we’re old friends already.” Have you ever felt this way about someone? Maybe it was with a coach, therapist or mentor? They instantly put you at ease and you’re sharing things you never thought you would with a relative stranger. How do they do it? This skill is called building rapport. You can learn to build rapport with clients (or anyone else!) by mastering the NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) techniques mentioned below. They’re easy, but they do take practice.
Tag: Communication Skills
“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.” ~ Brene Brown
Being authentic is an overused buzz phrase today, yet I think it still has value, because when it comes to showing up authentically, don’t you find that there are parts of yourself that you hide from others, perhaps even from yourself? And when you’re called on to do something out of your comfort zone, do you say, “I can’t,” when you really can? Or perhaps you promise you can, when you know you won’t.
Shelly, a client, is a person of action. Her brain is constantly whirling, and she always has something to say, which often causes her to superficially listen to others. And while she gets a lot done personally, she tends to either micromanage or shift between projects so fast it makes her team scratch their heads wondering what’s going on. To bring more balance to her life, together we worked out that she needed to engage The Power Of Pause to be more mindfully aware and present, thereby keeping her team in step with her. As a result, now they’re working cohesively and are accomplishing the goals they’ve set for themselves.
Could you benefit from using The Power Of Pause more often? Well, if you feel stressed (Who doesn’t?) or have said or done something you regret, then the answer is “Yes!” I think we all feel better when we mindfully learn to use this superpower more often.
He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. · She loved everything about her…the softness of her skin…and when she smiled…she was over the moon! · He could get lost in his eyes for hours, as they talked about nothing and everything into the wee hours of the morning. · He couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was his life. She was The One.
Love is an all-encompassing emotion. It’s not just a matter of the heart. Science shows that the biology of love is largely directed by chemicals released in the brain that trigger responses throughout the body. Sweaty palms, the wildly beating heart, the breathlessness of attraction are responses to the innate need to connect and keep the genetic line flowing. You can’t separate any part of your body from the sensation of love — your entire body is involved. The deepest connections occur when you embody love.
Forgetting this fundamental human state is the reason relationships come apart. When our mind begins to disconnect, so our body follows, sending signals of rejection or lack of interest. We may even be doing this unconsciously, but a partner can read it in our bodies, long before our brains catch up.
Like peanut butter and jelly or boots and sweaters, some things naturally go together. When you met the love of your life, you just knew the two of you belonged together. You wanted it to last forever. Yet in the day-to-day realities of life, the spark and sparkle may have grown a little dim, maybe you don’t think you’ll ever get the luster back again. This is when fortifying your skills on how to relate with others can help.
Did you notice I put the emphasis on relating with not relating to? Relating to others puts the emphasis on you in relation to them. Relating with others puts the emphasis on them.