Tag: emotions

When we have a ritual, which NLP and Somatic Coaching can teach you, you can reconnect with your own inner experience embracing whatever arises within, with peaceful awareness and clear intention. Then you can fully experience and process each emotion – joy, grief, anger, amusement, pain, energy, etc. And often, you’ll discover the strength of developing and cultivating an attitude of patient, loving presence that allows the emotions to flow according to your own natural rhythm.

How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments When “It’s Over!”

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Healthy Relationships.

“You can’t possibly embrace that new relationship, that new companion, that new career, that new friendship, or that new life you want, while you’re still holding on to the baggage of the last one. Let go… and allow yourself to embrace what is waiting for you right at your feet.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Out of the blue, Lisa’s significant other announced, “I’m leaving you.” She was thunderstruck. She didn’t see it coming and she felt totally shattered. What was she going to do? How could she carry on? She’d made this man her life for the past six years, and now he says, “It’s over!” How can this be happening to her?

This scenario occurs all too often today. Perhaps you yourself have lived through a similar situation. If so, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept that you will get through this.

It’s natural to form emotional attachments to people and things, because they help us feel connected. That vase your grandmother gave you is priceless, because it reminds you of her. Your job is important because it gives you a sense of belonging and purpose. You love your sporty red convertible because it reminds you that you’re a success. You’re proud of your handsome partner, because he makes you feel needed and loved.

When the vase breaks, the job ends, the car dies, or your romantic partner calls it quits, you feel so much shock and pain! Your strong emotional attachments cause you to go through stages of mourning — including denial, anger, blame, and depression. In the case of the romantic partner, it can be worse, because he’s choosing to leave. It’s a personal rejection that cuts deeply.

Be Thankful for Setbacks in Life? You’ve GOT to be Kidding! Maybe Not…

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Controlling Stress, Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills.

“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

This time of year, many people make time to enjoy family, friends and some good food, too. What I love about this time of year is that it gives me the opportunity to reflect on everything I’m grateful for, like you being part of my community. I’m also loving my new website design and excited about new upcoming projects next year. How about you? The holiday season and end of year gives everyone the opportunity to enhance your ability to be grateful for all that comes into your life — even the setbacks in life!

What!? Do you think I’m crazy to write “be grateful for ALL that comes into your life”? Is there a benefit to accepting both the “good” and “bad”? (I use the apostrophes, because it’s not helpful to label anything as good or bad, even though this is how people commonly phrase what’s presently working as opposed to what’s not working.) We can all benefit somehow from anything that happens. It just depends on how you look at it.

Is Emotional Dependence Holding You Back? Learn to Be Your Own Person & Thrive

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Emotional Intelligence.

“She needed a hero, so that’s what she became.” ~ unknown

Are you drawn to people who are kind and self-assured? I am! I love being around people who are comfortable in their own skins and who easily interact with other people. You can tell they love people, but you sense that their happiness isn’t dependent on others but comes from within. They’re the embodiment of someone who has successfully grown from youthful emotional dependent to mature emotional independence.

Recovering from Burnout — 18 Tips for Restoring Balance

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life, Controlling Stress, Health and Wellness.

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” ~ Lou Holtz

The doctors say there’s nothing wrong with you, except for a little high blood pressure and fatigue. But you know there’s something seriously off. You’re not yourself. You drag yourself out of bed. As you walk around the house, you mutter “I’m just so tired,” but you can’t figure out why. Could it be you’re suffering from burnout?

Are you uncharacteristically short-tempered? Has your positive attitude been replaced with critical comments? Do you exercise less? Drink more? Have you lost touch with friends? What should take minutes now takes hours. Sounds more and more like burnout!

No, it’s not all in your head. Less than a week ago, the World Health Organization posted their 11^th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases, listing burnout as an occupational phenomenon. They state that:

“Burnout is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
reduced professional efficacy.”

Burnout syndrome contributes to heart disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and premature aging. This is not something you want to ignore and hope goes away!

Some professions, (e.g. medical, legal, teaching, social work, entrepreneurship), are more prone to causing burnout, because they demand all you have to give and then more! You could be fulfilling responsibilities that are clearly out of the bounds of your job description, without being compensated for them. You may be working in an unsupportive or toxic environment. Perhaps you’re asked to compromise personal values and beliefs. On top of that, you may have unrealistic expectations of yourself.

Did you notice WHO said burnout results from “stress that has not been successfully managed”? That should give you hope, because you can learn to manage stress and start recovering from burnout, with a few adjustments to your life. Right now, you may feel like you can’t do one more thing! But, please, take steps to get your life back in balance.

How do you start the process of recovering from burnout? It all begins with a practice of mindfulness to check in with yourself throughout the day. Here are some other suggestions:

Learn stress management skills. Yoga, deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation techniques, reconnecting with nature, and utilizing the power of gratitude are all helpful.
Tune into body sensations. Focus on your body’s response to movement. For example, stretching releases tightness and tension.
Talk to someone. Find a good listener who isn’t going to try to “fix” you or judge you.
Rekindle friendships. Phone someone and schedule a lunch date, or better yet, go for a walk with your friend and get some exercise, too.
Limit contact with negative people. Your may have to work with them, but you don’t have to eat lunch or hang out after work with them.
Learn to speak Positivity.
Reframe the way you view work. Focus on how you help others.
Set boundaries that support your values. Learn to say “no!” and rediscover your happy place.
Develop curiosity about emotional distress. Think of it as a learning tool.
Take time off and get away. Ovid wisely said ~ “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”
Stop the tech addiction. The world isn’t going to end because you completely disconnect from your devices at the end of each day!
Feed your creative side and find a hobby.
Get restorative sleep.
Make exercise a priority. Aim to exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes/day. Mix it up with activities you like.
Eat healthfully. Just cut out one harmful item and add one healthful item at a time. It makes a difference.
Avoid narcotics, nicotine and alcohol. Stimulants and depressants alter your brain chemistry. The temporary euphoria isn’t worth the negative effects.
Find a better job. It took courage, but I have never regretted shifting my practice to coaching women!
Work smarter. Hone your time management and organizational skills.

Jonathan Lockwood Huie reminds us, “Say NO to the demands of the world. Say YES to the longings of your own heart.” Are you ready to make that shift? Does recovering from burnout feel too overwhelming — you don’t know where to start? I’d love to help you create a plan that gets you to where you want to be. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype).

Tony Robbin’s Emotional Triad: How to Visualize and Achieve Emotion Control

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Emotional Intelligence.

A woman visualizing Tony Robbin’s Emotional Triad so she can achieve emotion control — Emotional Triad

Do you remember that time when you “got up from the wrong side of bed” and the bad mood persisted all day long? You felt like you should go back to bed and stay there, right? And then there are other days where good things just keep rolling in, like you’re a magnet for all the good in the Universe. Why can two days be so different? You’re the same person, aren’t you? Actually, you’re not.

Every day we put ourselves in a different emotional and mental state. For example, you go to bed fired up about tomorrow’s project, so you wake early, eager to jump out of bed. If, on the other hand, you go to bed worn out, grumpy, and anxious, the chances are the next day isn’t going to go so well.

What you do and how you feel is determined by the state you’re in. Your emotions and attitudes control everything in your life — your mood, your decisions, your actions. So the big question is: if you start the day in a negative state, how do you switch over to a positive state?

I love the Emotional Triad that Tony Robbins came up with. It helps us visualize how to become grounded and achieve our center. The idea is to try to keep the three sides of your Emotional Triangle in balance. The good news is that we can learn to mindfully change and manage each pattern or behavior that throws us off balance.

What is the Emotional Triad? Visualize a triangle that has these three sides printed on it…

Emotional Triad Side 1: What are you doing with your body? Tony names this side “Physiology.”

We are somatic creatures – our emotions affect our bodies and vice versa. If you improve your posture, you’ll experience a feeling of confidence and alertness. If you slump, your mood will slump. Try it right now. Stand up straight and breathe deeply. Reach your arm in an upwardly sweeping motion. Smile. Dance in place. Observe how this body movement changes your emotions. This knowledge is powerful!

Emotional Triad Side 2: What are you focusing on or believing? Tony names this side “Focus.”

As Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” Focus on the positive and set your intention on what’s important to you. Don’t let your mind wonder to the “what if,” or the “I can’t,” or the “I’m not.” Visualize the powerful and competent person you are and want to be. By setting your focus on the positive, your mental and emotional state will shift.

Emotional Triad Side 3: What are you saying to yourself? Tony names this side “Language.”

Name calling, second guessing, doubting, criticizing, blaming – these do not build good relationships with other people, so why would you talk to yourself that way and destroy your relationship with yourself? Cultivate greater awareness of the words and tone you use when you engage in self-talk. Do you see patterns of self-hatred or self-abuse? Then switch out that word, phrase or tone to one that shows self-compassion and self-love.

Get into the habit of mindfully assessing your Emotional Triad and change what isn’t promoting the positive emotional and mental state you desire. If one side of your Emotional Triad isn’t as strong as you want it to be, I’d love to work with you to strengthen it! Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype).

Tag: emotions

How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments When “It’s Over!”

Be Thankful for Setbacks in Life? You’ve GOT to be Kidding! Maybe Not…

Is Emotional Dependence Holding You Back? Learn to Be Your Own Person & Thrive

Recovering from Burnout — 18 Tips for Restoring Balance

Tony Robbin’s Emotional Triad: How to Visualize and Achieve Emotion Control

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