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Category: Self-Leadership Skills

Got a Plan for Personal Growth? Set Intentional Goals for an Optimum Life

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Embodied Leadership, Self-Leadership Skills.

You are the captain of your life and a plan for personal growth will get you to your desired destination“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen, again and again, fear must be overcome again and again.” ~ Abraham Maslow

Before any captain sails from port, she has multiple, detailed, and documented plans that include checking each operating system. The Navigator creates a passage plan, (a comprehensive, step-by-step description of how the voyage will proceed from departure to destination) and advises course corrections, as needed, throughout the trip. Every crew member has prepared a mental game plan for any contingency they might meet. If one trip involves this much planning, how much planning do we invest in our lives? Do you have a plan for personal growth, so you can live your optimum life?

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Is Lowering Your Expectations the Way to Less Disappointment & More Happiness?

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Self-Leadership Skills, Stepping Forward.

Lowering our expectations isn’t the best answer. Learn to manage the pain of unmet expectations and assess, then adjust your expectations really works!“People and events don’t disappoint us, our models of reality do. It is my model of reality that determines my happiness or disappointments.” ~ Stephan Zweig

Expectations are powerful. Yet they are often a hidden power, because we expect things, without being aware that we’re doing it. We need to bring our hidden, unhelpful expectations out into the open, so we can let them go before they limit our opportunities and damage our relationships. Then we can create space for helpful expectations that fuel our dreams and keep us motivated. However, lowering your expectations is NOT the answer to dealing with life’s disappointments. Here’s why…

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How to Let Go Of Unrealistic Expectations Before They Destroy Your Happiness

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills, Stepping Forward.

It takes courage to let go of unrealistic expectations, but once you identify them for what they are, as these 7 examples show, it becomes easier.Managing our expectations is one of life’s greatest challenges. Positive expectations can lead to positive results. Too often, however, we make ourselves unhappy because we have unrealistic expectations.

Unrealistic expectations can also have a ripple effect. For example, when you expect the best from someone, you’re more patient and supportive. You invest time and resources in them because you believe it’s worth it. On the other hand, when you expect the worst from someone, you downplay or dismiss their efforts. You don’t invest your emotions in them and you withhold time and attention that could help them do better.

What you expect becomes your reality, because the brain believes what you are thinking. Life is too short to let unrealistic expectations stand in the way of happiness. So from time to time it’s a good idea to assess our expectations and adjust to the way life really is, not the way you wish it to be. Because life isn’t a fairy tale where everything magically has a “happy ever after” ending.

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Are You a Perfectionist? YOUR Key to Success — Change Digital Thinking to Analog

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Self-Leadership Skills, Transform Your Life.

Are you a perfectionist? Try my “Are You a Perfectionist? Not Anymore!” Exercise to expand your view of a situation so you see all possible adjustments. “We can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved.” ~ Glennon Doyle

When was the last time you adjusted a dial? We used to dial our phones or change a radio dial to find a favorite station, but not anymore…we punch buttons. On TV, they used to say, “don’t touch that dial!” meaning don’t switch programs or you’ll miss out on something important…now we hit our remote buttons. When daylight saving time approached, we turned the clock’s dials…spring forward/fall back…now the atomic clocks do it for us. We see precise, computerized readouts everywhere. I think this has caused us to lose a valuable tool for living. It’s influenced our thinking more than we realize. In what way? Well, are you a perfectionist? If that’s your tendency, then it’s time to embrace the dial again!

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Focus on Competence: Strive for Excellence Not Perfection

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills.

Striving for excellence not perfection is like an analog clock.“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” ~ Dr. Harriet Braiker

Kathy (my client, not her real name) had an all-or-nothing attitude that was keeping her frustrated and angry. She thought in terms of extremes, in black and white. If she didn’t accomplish something perfectly, she viewed herself as a failure. And if others didn’t live up to her expectations, it was a relationship-breaker. Do you know someone like Kathy? Can you relate? It took a lot of work for her to grasp the pure magic that results when you strive for excellence not perfection. 

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