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Category: Self-Leadership Skills

Dealing with Disappointment — How to Renew Hope When Expectations Are Crushed

When you’re dealing with disappointment, it’s important to feel your feelings, learn from them and use them as springboards to new opportunities.“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” ~ Eliza Tabor

We are the only living organisms on this planet who build our lives around our hopes and expectations. It’s what makes us human. Without hope or expectation, we would be existing, not living. However, with these highs come the lows of disappointment, because we don’t always realize our expectations. And that makes us sad, angry or even despondent. So how are you dealing with disappointment? Could you use some tips on how to handle it a little bit better?

Whether professionally or personally, when we’re in the realm of hope and expectation, we’re dealing with things far beyond our control. We can work hard and set ourselves up for success the best we’re able, but success isn’t guaranteed. We can’t control how others will react or how situations go awry. 

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How to Grow As a Person — Get Out of Your Head & Do Your Heart Work!

If you want to know how to grow as a person, here are some strategies for you to open up your heart and start living fully again, even after great pain.“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry  

Think back to third grade, do you remember the papercut on your finger? It was very painful and you vowed to never touch another piece of paper again, right? Of course not! You bandaged the wound, and you kept doing your schoolwork because that’s how you grow as a person. You let it heal and you moved on.

Yet when it comes to emotional hurt, we hold onto it way past its expiration date. We regret being vulnerable and vow, “I’m never going to let myself be hurt like that again.” Whether it’s from a romantic breakup or a painful rejection at work, when we experience emotional pain, we tend to shrink back into our shells. Out of self-protection, we often drift away from our hearts and begin living in our heads. We become more and more shut down and closed off.

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Self-Betterment vs. Self-Realization — How to Live Up To and Enjoy Your Full Potential

Insight into self-betterment or self-realization is important because we’re responsible for maximizing our potential, because what we do matters. “Your own self-realization is the greatest service you can render the world.” ~ Sri Ramana Maharshi

Don’t you think the term self-betterment is inadequate? I know it’s a common way of expressing your wish for self-improvement. However, the term self-realization is more encompassing, because it conveys the thought of getting to know yourself better and learning to maximize your strengths. Self-betterment seems to be a judgment that you’re not good enough…you need to be better. But you are good enough. And this is how I know that…

I love being a learner. I don’t read or study just to put information in my head. I want to see how it can make my life more satisfying and how I can use it to help others. Does learning make me a better person today than I was yesterday? No. I may have become more skilled in one area. Or I may have more understanding. But my worth as a human being has not become higher. I simply realize that I am capable of so much more and I want to achieve my full potential. 

Whether I’m splitting hairs over self-betterment, I’ll let you decide. The main point is that whatever we call it, we are responsible for maximizing our potential, because what we do matters. Our small steps can change the world.

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Are You Showing Up Authentically? Be Proud, Be Courageous, Be You!

A practice of showing up authentically means eliminating what’s artificial in your life and choosing practices that fuel the person you truly wish to be.“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let out true selves be seen.” ~ Brene Brown

Being authentic is an overused buzz phrase today, yet I think it still has value, because when it comes to showing up authentically, don’t you find that there are parts of yourself that you hide from others, perhaps even from yourself? And when you’re called on to do something out of your comfort zone, do you say, “I can’t,” when you really can? Or perhaps you promise you can, when you know you won’t. 

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Do You Know How to Engage the Power of Pause? It’s Transformational!

The Power of Pause might seem insignificant, but don’t let it fool you. Over time it shifts the way your brain functions, changing how you act and speak. “It’s a transformative experience to simply pause instead of immediately filling up space.” ~ Pema Chodron

Shelly, a client, is a person of action. Her brain is constantly whirling, and she always has something to say, which often causes her to superficially listen to others. And while she gets a lot done personally, she tends to either micromanage or shift between projects so fast it makes her team scratch their heads wondering what’s going on. To bring more balance to her life, together we worked out that she needed to engage The Power Of Pause to be more mindfully aware and present, thereby keeping her team in step with her. As a result, now they’re working cohesively and are accomplishing the goals they’ve set for themselves. 

Could you benefit from using The Power Of Pause more often? Well, if you feel stressed (Who doesn’t?) or have said or done something you regret, then the answer is “Yes!” I think we all feel better when we mindfully learn to use this superpower more often. 

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