Maria Connolly, LPC

How to Build Confidence in Yourself and Others

As you fine tune your “dials” to become the person you aspire to be, you arrive at the balance where you know how to build confidence in yourself and others.“Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control.” ~ Richard Kline

On the scale of timid to self-confident to arrogant, where do you usual show up? Do you wish you spoke up for yourself more? Have you ever fallen into the trap of putting others down so you feel better about yourself? Since we live in a very connected world, it’s important to know how to build confidence in yourself and others in a way that encourages rather than tears down.

How we feel about ourselves and how we treat others is all about constantly adjusting our “dials”. Turning this up; toning that down. Every new situation brings an opportunity to fine tune our “dials” until we become the person we aspire to be. Ultimately, you arrive at the balance of loving and respecting yourself and others. That balance produces self-confidence.

How can you achieve that balance? Here are my top 10 tips on how to build confidence in yourself and others…

1. Take care of yourself. No one will respect you, if you don’t respect yourself. For example, the way you dress, exercise, eat, drink, and speak tells whether you love yourself and others. Loving yourself doesn’t mean pampering yourself. It means doing all you can to improve your life.

2. Know your values and be true to yourself. Your decisions and your actions form your character. Practice being the best version of yourself. When you do something that’s really hard, you’ll be proud of yourself. At the same time, you won’t feel the need to control others. You’ll be able to allow them to grow at their own rate.

3. Believe in yourself. Don’t let the Debbie Downers stop you. Especially is this so, if one of those critical voices is in your own mind. Believe in what you’re trying to accomplish; believe in you. And then pay it forward by encouraging others to follow their dreams.

4. Cultivate a fearless mindset. Build a fire in your soul for developing the attitudes and habits that make you fearless. View everything you do as worthwhile. No matter what the job is, do it cheerfully. Appreciate “failures” as an opportunity to hone your strengths. When you feel like you can’t go on, gather your last ounce of courage and keep going. What you’re trying to accomplish is more important than the fear you feel. This mindset will keep you from judging or condemning others when they falter.

5. Keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. You’ll respect yourself and so will others. Action gives your words meaning. You’ll accomplish your goals and reinforce your self-worth. And others come to trust you.

6. Don’t worry what others think. While feedback is helpful, don’t let it define who you are. Thinking you’re smart or stupid just because someone says so isn’t real. Feedback is meant to be examined for nuggets of wisdom that apply to your life. If you think something can be done, then you will find a way to make it happen. In the process, strive to give helpful feedback to others.

7. Finish what you start. Life is full of distractions and procrastinations. Your self-confidence will sky-rocket each time you can say, “Done!” Others will be confident that they can depend on you.

8. Track your accomplishments. Too often, we forget what we’ve accomplished over the course of a year. Make a physical record of your achievements, no matter how small, so you can review them. This will really boost your self-confidence. And be quick to acknowledge and compliment others for everything they do. I love this quote from David Storey…

“Self-confidence is the memory of success.”

9. Learn new skills. Whether it’s for business, fitness, or recreation, learning and becoming good at something new is a great moral booster. Each time I put together a new program, push myself further at CrossFit or score in archery, I can feel my self-confidence growing. And I love inviting others to join me. We accomplish more together than I ever could by myself. Remember, you’ll accomplish big things if you take one baby step at a time.

10. Think future benefits, not instant gratification. Self-denial is part of life. We can’t have and do it all. You can’t go days without sleep and eating junk food and expect to be brilliant. Be strong enough to make the tough decisions and stick to the choices that get you closer to your dreams. Welcome immediate discomfort, by keeping your mind’s eye focused on the long-term gain for yourself and others.

Life is short. The more time you spend doing something you love, the less time you’ll have for stress and anxiety. Why not contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). Together, we can formulate a plan that enriches every day of your life.

Personal Growth - Professional Growth, Self-Confidence


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