Maria Connolly, LPC

Tag: Self-Confidence

Self confidence requires making subtle shifts in how you use your body as you create mindfulness and awareness that exponentially increases your ability to influence, listen, be resilient, manage stress, maintain energy and be more effective. Rather than numbing yourself to uncomfortable circumstances and powering through them, you can learn to mindfully choose to respond in a way that leaves you feeling whole and at peace.

How to Be Fearless — Courageously Meet Challenges Head On

Fear is useful when it alerts us to real danger; yet personal development demands that we be fearless when we’re faced with challenges and new opportunities“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” ~ Rudyard Kipling

Public speaking…heights…revealing true feelings…snakes…what do these have in common? They all generate fear in the hearts of many people. Children seem to be fearless, but over time, we collect our own unique set of fears. What you fear and why, will not match up with what I fear. But the good news is we can all learn how to be fearless, in the sense of not letting unreasonable, out-of-control fears keep us small.

What is fear and how can we be fearless?

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Value Yourself for Who You Are, Not What You Do

It’s important to value yourself accurately, not thinking too much or too little of yourself. Please use these tips to make a current assessment of yourself“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” ~ Brené Brown

Recently, when I complimented one of my clients, she replied, “It’s nothing; anyone could have done it.” I heard what she was doing, but I knew she didn’t hear what she was telling herself in that discounting statement. Calmly I looked her in the eye and asked, “Is that really how you value yourself?” Her eyes widened, as she realized what she had done…

Why self-value and self-esteem are lacking today

I’d like you to give this some serious thought: When was the last time you said or did something that discounted your actions, thoughts, or words as being nothing special? Perhaps you under priced a service you provide, or you gave in to a disagreement relinquishing something you highly valued, or you dismissed sincere feedback, or you spoke in a self-deprecating manner, as if in jest.

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Daily Developing Self-Leadership – Your Stepping Stone to a Leadership Career

Would you like to have a leadership career? To get started, it’s important to daily practice these 3 aspects when you’re developing self-leadership skills.“The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves.” ~ Ray Kroc

There’s nothing like hands on experience to make your leadership skills grow. But how do you gain that experience when you don’t have a leadership position yet? The key is to make developing self-leadership a daily priority. This will quickly develop your self-confidence and create a reputation for being someone who reliably makes beneficial decisions, has good communication skills, and works well with and can effectively influence others.

Whether it’s in the family or in the corporate board room, it’s not enough for a leader to stand before a group to tell them what to do or how they should be. The most effective leaders stand with their team and model the behavior, attitudes and speech they expect from others. I like how M. D. Arnold pus it, “A good leader leads the people from above them. A great leader leads the people from within them.”

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Learn to Trust Yourself: 7 Tips to Strengthening Your Self-Confidence

Before you can step forward with confidence, you must trust yourself and not doubt or second-guess yourself. Here are 7 ways to learn to trust yourself more“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” ~ Golda Meir

I don’t trust myself to ___. With what words would you fill in this blank? Make good decisions? Follow through? Just say no? Before you can step forward with confidence, it’s important to build trust in yourself, because second-guessing and doubting yourself are some of the key reasons for inaction.

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Leaders and Coaches — Being Genuine Surpasses Being Perfect Every Day!

Older woman is happy being genuine and authentic“Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency and integrity.” ~ Janet Louise Stephenson

 Dee wanted more than anything to be a leader at work. She read every personal development book and took night courses to improve her speaking ability. She took weekend seminars to learn coaching techniques. She even did online NLP training, because she knew it would give her a competitive edge. As a team leader, she had all the right moves, but they were too practiced, too polished, too mechanical. In all of her training, she never acquired enough self-confidence to let her own personality shine through, to be vulnerable enough so people could see who she really was. As a result, she wasn’t able to connect with her team. She just hadn’t learned the knack of being genuine.

You and I both know that there’s a huge difference between someone acting like they’re interested and truly being interested. Putting on a show, going through the motions feels manipulative and off-putting. Leaders are far more effective when they are being genuine and can inspire trust and respect through their every-day actions.

If you tend to be defensive or guarded because of past hurts, being genuine can be a real challenge. But you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Take a look at some of the ways being genuine will enhance the quality of your life

Being genuine means you realize not everyone will like or agree with you and that’s okay. Being popular and getting praise isn’t your motivation — doing your best is!

Being genuine means you know your values and ethics. You’re kind and willing to let others live as they want to live, but they’re not going to shake your convictions.

Being genuine means you have the strength to make unpopular decisions. You trust your gut even when the majority are on a different path.

Being genuine means you’re approachable. People can sense that you’re truly interested in them.

Being genuine means you walk your own path, not someone else’s. You don’t have to pretend to be someone that you’re not, just to please others.

Being genuine means you recognize the good in others and see their strengths. You don’t have to hog the limelight, but you support and give generously of your knowledge and resources so they can excel at what they do best.

Being genuine means you treat everyone with respect no matter who they are. It’s important for you to dignify each person you meet, whether it’s family, friends, co-workers, or the stranger in line in front of you who’s taking “hours” to make their coffee selection at your local coffee shop.

Being genuine means you’re living in harmony with your purpose. This grounds you so you’re not swayed by the latest fad or craze.

Being genuine means keeping your word. You don’t tell people what you think they want to hear. Nor do you promise something, knowing full well you never intend on following through.

Being genuine means you see things for what they are. You don’t sensationalize comments or actions, adding meanings where none were intended. You don’t imagine slights where there are none. You give people the benefit of the doubt. And you positively look to learn from any feedback you receive.

Being genuine means you improve yourself, not try to “fix” someone else. You realize you are the only one who can change you; you’re not waiting for someone else to improve a situation.

Being genuine means you don’t hide or hold back. You’re not afraid of intimacy or connecting deeply with people. Yes, some people might disappoint you. But your life is richer for the good connections that you do make. It’s okay for people to see your vulnerabilities.

Being genuine takes a great deal of self-awareness and self-acceptance. I’ve found that a practice of mindfulness really helps. It leads to confidence that can’t be shaken. And it helps you excel at your chosen endeavors. It grounds you in reality. It lets you enjoy life to the full. It speaks to others and draws them to you.

Sometimes we can’t see ourselves clearly. We can either under-value or over-estimate ourselves. If you’d like some impartial and extremely helpful feedback, please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). I’d love to help you discover hidden strengths you can build upon to achieve the life you desire and deserve.


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Professional Certified Coach by International Coach Federation