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Which of These 25 Emotional Intelligence Competencies Will You Master Next?

If you feel lost, unfulfilled and wanting to “find my true self”, it’s vital to mindfully define, in great detail, your emotional intelligence competencies.“What is it you’re really good at doing? What makes you unique?”

Do these questions make you squirm and think, “I don’t know…I’m just me?” Surprisingly, most people struggle with this. They do what they do without much thought. Of course you’re aware of your technical skills, people skills and personal work ethic. Yet, this barely scratches the surface of who you are.

With so many people feeling lost, unfulfilled and wanting to “find my true self”, it’s important to take time to mindfully define in great detail your core values, strengths, and emotional intelligence competencies.

When you do, a magical thing happens. You become empowered to break out of your comfort zone and excel beyond what you ever imagined possible. Like all top performers, you’ll finally know exactly what you’re capable of doing. You’ll know what to improve to achieve excellence. And while no one can master all 25 emotional intelligence competencies, you can significantly improve on some of them.

Daniel Goleman writes about the 25 emotional competencies in his book, Working with Emotional Intelligence. (I really enjoyed this book. You should check it out!) They fall into five categories, under two main headings – Personal and Social – as the following outline shows.

1. Personal Competence – how you manage yourself.

  • Self-Awareness: Know your internal states, preferences, and resources.
    • Emotional awareness – recognize how emotions affect your life.
    • Accurate self-assessment – know your strengths and limitations.
    • Self-confidence – embrace your self-worth and capabilities.
  • Self-Regulation: Manage your internal states, impulses and resources.
    • Self-control – keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check.
    • Trustworthiness – maintain standards of integrity and honesty.
    • Conscientiousness – take responsibility for your personal performance.
    • Adaptability – be able to handle change, flexibility.
    • Innovation – be comfortable with new ideas and ways of doing things.
  • Motivation: Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals.
    • Achievement drive – strive for excellence.
    • Commitment – wholeheartedly support group or organizational goals.
    • Initiative – be ready to act on opportunities.
    • Optimism – remain positive despite obstacles and setbacks.

2. Social Competence – how you handle relationships.

  • Empathy: Have an awareness of others’ feelings, needs and concerns.
    • Understanding others – sense others’ perspectives.
    • Developing others – actively bolster their abilities.
    • Service orientation – anticipate, recognize, and meet others’ needs.
    • Leveraging diversity – Cultivate opportunities through diverse people.
    • Political awareness – reading power relationships and undercurrents.
  • Social skills: Proficiency at stirring up desirable responses in others.
    • Influence – effectively persuade others.
    • Communication – listen openly and sending compelling messages.
    • Conflict management – negotiate and resolve disagreements.
    • Leadership – inspire and guide individuals and groups.
    • Change catalyst – initiate or manage change.
    • Building bonds – nurture instrumental relationships.
    • Collaboration and cooperation – work toward shared goals.
    • Team capabilities – create group synergy, bring out their best.

Why not copy and paste this list into a Word document and print it out. Then score yourself from 1 (very limited) to 10 (excellent) on each one. But don’t stop there. Ask someone who knows you well to review it and get their viewpoint. It will be an eye-opening exercise for you and give you a basis for where you want to start improving.

And if you want to open your own private practice this exercise will keep you from floundering, because it helps you identify your unique selling proposition (USP) or unique value proposition (UVP) – the things that make you and your services unique. And when you identify that factor, your business will excel.

Would you like me to help you assess your emotional intelligence competencies and give you proven ways of getting out of your own way so you can excel? Then contact me and we can set up an in-person session or one via Skype.

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