Maria Connolly, LPC
When you struggle to focus on the task at hand, perhaps it’s because there’s too much going on in your attentional field. What’s that? It’s a term used to describe everything within your attention span – your thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, sights and sounds around you. When you focus on being perfect, you’re less likely to allow for mistakes. Mistakes are necessary in the learning process to achieve competence in any field. Each of us has a different dominant focus style, which is what we default to under stress.
We pay attention in two distinct ways. These two focus styles are…
Internal-focus style. These people are totally and consistently focused during a specific activity like a presentation, a practice session or a competition. They need to keep their focus narrow, thinking only about their performance all the time. The down side of this intensity is that they also tend to be easily distracted by their surroundings.
External-focus style. These people only focus on their specific activity when they’re about to begin the event or competition. They function better by taking their mind off of the activity at all other times, because they tend to over-think, becoming negative, critical, and anxious. For them to excel, they must focus on other things when they’re not actually performing.
Neither approach is right or wrong. The important thing is identifying your focus style and utilizing it to improve your powers of concentration. If you’re trying to force yourself to adopt a style other than your own, you’ll find that under pressure you’ll revert back to your normal style and that could really throw you off your game.
What should you be focusing on right now? Click here to download a free copy of 7-Point Wellness Assessment to find out.
Do you feel like you’re always battling against the clock and there’s not enough time to do what you need to get done, let alone what you want to do? And since your long to-do list is never finished, maybe you’re always nagged by a feeling of failure. Here’s a secret that can help: the best time management tips are built not on being task oriented but upon creating a mindful state of mind.
Have you ever tried to calm a room full of excited children waiting for a treat? The more you shush them, the more they wiggle, giggle, and chatter. But if you channel their energy into an engaging activity, they settle down. This is a key takeaway for learning how to stay calm under pressure.
Because our adult emotions work the same way! Trying to suppress anxiety, stress, or frustration is like forcing those excited children to sit still — it’s exhausting and ineffective. Suppressing emotions often leaves you feeling like a powder keg, ready to explode.
Which would you say is more stressful and damaging to your health — stress from a car accident or from a messy house? — a breakup with a romantic partner or a friend who makes you crazy because she never follows through on what she promises? — a harsh comment from a friend or self-sabotaging thoughts?
We’re well-equipped to handle short-term stressors or life-threatening situations. We deal with it, then we’re free of it. But if there’s constant, long-term, nagging stress, we suffer deeply.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Will Durant
Habit is one of the strongest forces in our lives. And that’s a good thing because if you had to stop and make a brand new decision about every little thing in life, you’d never make it out of bed, let alone get to work. While most habits are behaviors that save you a great deal of time, not all habits are helpful. Some actually get in your way of making progress toward desired goals. However, if mindfully striving for excellence becomes your overriding habit — your preferred way of being — then your other habits will be beneficial. Yes, the quest for excellence is a habit that feeds success!
When we want to succeed at something new, we look to experts to guide us and help us master new goals and techniques. But being told by someone what we should do doesn’t necessarily help because it’s too easy to forget the advice and revert back to old habits. So there has to be more to the story of knowing how to succeed at anything.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of trying too hard — the more you try the worse it gets. That happens because your focus is on the error, which keeps multiplying it. It’s like the person skidding on a slick road toward a telephone pole. Because your eye is on the pole you unconsciously steer toward it, even if you don’t want to. But if you keep your eyes on where you really want to go, you’ll be more likely to come out of the skid.
In order to reach your goal what you need, beyond expert advice, is to master your own inner game. It has to go beyond just a mental effort. It must involve your body wisdom, too.