Tag: mastery

Mastery is the ability to focus deeply on a compelling area of personal development and having the courage to pursue that course until you make it an intrinsic part of who you are.

Become Indispensable – 8 Steps to Fearlessly Tackling Any Project

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Embodied Leadership, Life Skills.

“If you want something done, ask a busy person.” ~ Benjamin Franklin

Isn’t it true that the world is full of people with good intentions? Yet the ones who accept a task and execute it promptly are rare. In that way, they become indispensable at work or in any relationship because you can count on them to follow through and not let you down.

Is that the kind of person you’d like to be known as?

First, it’s important to determine what’s getting in the way of executing your goals. Do you procrastinate or get distracted? Too often our minds are so full of “stuff” we lose focus. Or maybe you don’t know something, so you get stuck on the “how” and stall out.

Perhaps your past is getting in the way? Maybe you’ve been discouraged by a lifetime of others putting you down. On the other hand, overindulgent parents might have spoiled you, making you think the world owes you a favor. Just remember, those behaviors are their choices, not yours.

You have a choice to make: blame others or build a fire in your soul for developing the attitudes and habits that make you indispensable. How?

It all starts with developing the character to view everything you do as worthwhile. No matter what the job is, do it cheerfully. Appreciate the opportunity to see your strengths and make note of them.

Were you efficient and organized?
Were you thorough?
Were you creative?
Did you exhibit leadership qualities by motivating others?
Were you able to bring out the best in those around you?
Did you maintain a positive state despite obstacles?
Did you stay calm under pressure?
Did you go above and beyond what was asked for?

When you work at excelling at everyday tasks, extraordinary opportunities will come your way. When you use each assignment to hone your natural talents, you can turn them into a discipline that you master. This may well become your “calling” in life, if it brings you great joy and it serves the needs of others.

The secret to becoming indispensable is to take action without hesitating. Practice the following steps until they become a deeply imbedded system in your life:

Accept the assignment and get started. Don’t wait for all of the answers. As you proceed, you’ll often find better solutions than if you had mapped it all out at the beginning.

Ask for clarification. Asking a question isn’t a sign of weakness. Work out what you can and then ask the right questions to fill in the blanks.

Outline a plan of action. Keep in mind your ultimate objective; strategies for achieving it; breaking it down into manageable bits; making a step-by-step checklist; and measuring your progress.

Don’t be afraid to expend some resources and ask for help. Worthwhile objectives usually cost money, time, and help from others. If it’s worth doing, do it right.

Measure your progress. When you get stuck, show what you’ve done so far and ask for feedback. If you’re off course, this will put you back on track. Even if you don’t answer to anyone, review your progress and see if you’re still on course.

Set reasonable expectations and always exceed them. If you want to be trusted with vital tasks, develop a reputation for getting the job done better, sooner and at a lower cost than expected.

Accept mistakes as the cost of learning. Perfection is unrealistic. Mistakes are simply information not judgments on your character. Reflect on what they teach you.

Be proud of your work. Remember your wins. Find the harmony between action and fear. Courage isn’t the absence of fear but rather the ability to act despite it.

You will become indispensable when you’ve integrated these action-oriented habits and attitudes into your life. If you’re ready to accelerate your rise to excellence so you become indispensable, respected and trusted, please feel free to contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). I’d love to partner with you on this journey.

Supercharge Your Efforts and Accelerate Your Personal Growth – Do Your Coaching Homework!

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Change Your Life.

When you were in school, did you enjoy homework? I remember the collective groan that used to echo throughout the classroom. Yet, it really is an effective way for students to grow personally and academically.

As I reflect on those years, I’m grateful now. Not only did homework help me remember the lesson, it accelerated my personal growth for it taught me to 1) be disciplined, 2) make priorities, and 3) learn how to learn. Today, I regularly use homework in my coaching practice and I’ve seen that my clients who follow-up and do it dramatically accelerate their personal growth.

Not convinced? Check out these seven reasons for doing your coaching homework and see if they don’t rev up your personal growth…

Remain focused.

We all know the benefits of putting notes where we see them constantly. In that way, we won’t forget the task or goals we need to accomplish. It keeps us from being distracted. Coaching homework gives us something to focus on in between sessions. Working on your personal growth every day is key to becoming the person you desire to be.

Reflect deeply.

When you delve deeper into a topic you covered in session, you often need quiet and solitude to mindfully reflect on it. When your coach gives you homework, think of it as a map to your personal growth as it helps you explore the pattern of your actions, thoughts and feelings.

Retain through repetition.

Our brains benefit from repetitive patterns. Your personal growth depends on remembering new things. Routines, checklists, and templates save you time and ensure you retain what you’re learning.

Reasonable expectations.

You can’t expect overnight transformation. It takes daily baby steps, rather than giant leaps once a week. Coaching homework makes big challenges seem not so intimidating. It lets you know that you’re not the only one with this issue and it reassures you that there’s a process that works.

Recognize results.

It’s important to track your progress – even the tiniest of wins. When you start getting discouraged, you need to be able to look back and see how far you’ve come. An important part of coaching homework is recording your feelings about each step forward and owning your triumphs.

Reframe to fit.

While many of us struggle with similar issues, you have a unique learning style and speed. Coaching homework let’s you mull over the information and make it your own as you reframe it to fit your personal growth needs.

Revisit and expand.

The first time you go through an exercise, you’ll apply it for those circumstances. As your experience widens and your abilities grow, you’ll be able to revisit an exercise with a fresh perspective and gain more from it on a deeper level.

Are you ready to ramp up your personal growth? Do you have something specific you want to work on, but you’re not sure where you should start? I would love to partner with you and share proven personal growth techniques that get results. Please feel free to schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation so we can explore your options. I’m happy to meet in-person, by phone or via Skype.

Developing Discipline and Mental Strength to See You Through the Tough Times

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Fearless Mindset.

“No mud, no lotus.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Discomfort. Sweat. Getting dirty. Roughing it. Exhaustion. Frugality. When did these words take on a bad connotation – things to be avoided at all cost?

Luxury. Easy Living. Excess. These are the things that people are pursuing with damaging results to their health and happiness. It’s no exaggeration that, for some people, missing their morning latte can ruin their whole day.

As Thich Nhat Hanh noted, without slogging through the mud, you can’t find the happiness of the lotus. He also said something else that I think is very profound, “When you learn how to suffer, you suffer less.” Isn’t it true that when you know how to do something, it’s easier to do it…even if it’s enduring through challenging times in life?

So the question is: how do you go about developing discipline and mental strength? Waiting for a challenge and hoping you survive isn’t a good option. That’s like trying to run a marathon after being a couch potato for years. You’re going to get hurt. It would be advantageous to start developing discipline, more grit and mental toughness right now. Then you’ll be better prepared for whatever comes.

I’ve been enjoying a book by Joe De Sena called “Spartan Fit! 30 Days. Transform Your Mind. Transform Your Body. Commit to Grit.” It refers to Seneca, a Stoic philosopher, who was one of the wealthiest men in ancient Rome, yet he spoke out against the corrupting influence of wealth and leisure. He practiced a series of mental exercises to ensure he would never become dependent on his wealth. Every month he spent a few days living in poverty until he became content with only the necessities of life…the clothes on his back and the food for his next meal. He said:

“In times of immunity from care the soul should toughen itself for occasions of greater stress…In times of peace a soldier performs maneuvers in order that he may be equal to the strains of war. If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.”

Our physical strength only grows as we push ourselves and challenge what we think we can do. Run a little bit farther…Lift a heavier weight…Hold the position a little longer. It only makes sense that we can prepare our minds and spirit to handle hardship and challenges, too.

Make a practice of looking for ways to challenge your mind with mental obstacles in the same way you challenge your body with physical obstacles. Here are some ways that you can begin developing discipline and mental strength.

Start every day on the right foot. Find a routine that allows you to set a positive and productive mindset. For me that’s making my bed. It’s an immediate win!

Prepare your mind and spirit through a practice of journaling, meditation, prayer, or motivation mantra.

Reinforce your values and personal boundaries as you review situations that didn’t have the desired outcome and consider how you’d handle it differently in the future.

Avoid negativity and distractions, like checking emails or listening to the news, until you’ve set your intentions for the day.

View all movement as exercise and training. Your mental health depends on your physical health. It’s time to take control and make time! When you have the mindset that you’re constantly in training, you’ll look for opportunities like taking the stairs, parking at the furthest spot in the lot, and so forth.

Recognize “resistance” as a force within you that you can control. When you see a resistant attitude as an enemy you can defeat, you’re not judging yourself any longer by thinking there’s something wrong with you. You can see that it’s simply a wrong attitude, and you have the power to change your thinking.

When reflecting back, almost everyone agrees that their happiest times are during the pursuit/work/action that got them to a particularly triumphant moment. I would love to partner with you as you push your boundaries to excel. Please feel free to schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation. I’m happy to meet in-person, by phone or via Skype.

How to Deal with Change: Discover the 3 Stages of Change and What They Say about You

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Handling Change.

“The only thing that is constant is change.” ~ Greek philosopher, Heraclitus

Life is full of uncertainty and change. And really isn’t that a good thing? Wouldn’t you get tired of the exact same thing day after day after day…? If you’ve learned how to deal with change, your attitude, your outlook, your abilities to function in the real world will provide the basis for building a successful and happy life despite what happens.

However, major problems arise if you haven’t learned how to deal with change effectively. If you haven’t been given the tools to see life as it really is, you’ll be living with fantasies that paralyze you. And if you don’t know how to mindfully choose your state of being, you’ll never see the full potential for what could be possible for your life.

Of course, it’s natural to resist change at first. We all do it, especially when we feel fearful and unsafe. At other times, we may get stuck in the second stage of change – falling into a rut, merely existing, keeping the status quo, not rocking the boat as we maintain the life we have. I believe that the best way to live is the third stage of change –when we lean in and embrace it as we see the life we’ve envisioned unfold.

So how do you deal with change? Of these three stages of change, which do you stay in the longest – resistance, maintenance, or embracing a larger vision? Not sure? How do you react to the following statements?

I know how to deal with change because:

I’m prepared to adapt to whatever comes, instead of wishing life was different.
I see opportunities rather than challenges or roadblocks.
I choose to focus on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative.
I see what’s really there not making things more complicated than they need to be.
I trust that I’m capable of handling whatever comes.
I give myself permission to “fail” and try again until I get it right.
I forgive myself readily, instead of beating myself up.
I confidently move on from mistakes without doubting myself.
I see when something isn’t working and adjust.

Do you see yourself in this list? Excellent! Then you’re on your way to mastering change. If, at present, you can’t own all of these as your truth, don’t despair. You can learn how to keep your sense of humor and gain a better life through change.

A surprisingly simply way to do this is to read my ultimate favorite book: “Who Moved My Cheese – An A-Mazing Way to Deal with Change In Your Work and In Your Life” by Spencer Johnson, M.D. It’s a simple story that uses metaphors, but how you interpret it and apply it to your own life gives it the greatest value. It’s a story of two mice – Sniff, Scurry – and two Little People – Hem, Haw – who find their way through a maze to get to the cheese – what you want in life.

Some of the lessons you’ll learn about how to deal with change are:

“Change Happens

They Moved the Cheese

Anticipate Change

Get Ready for the Cheese to Move

Monitor Change

Smell the Cheese Often so You Know When It’s Getting Old

Adapt To Change Quickly

The Quicker You Let Go Of Old Cheese, the Sooner You Can Enjoy New Cheese

Change

Move with the Cheese

Enjoy Change

Savor the Adventure and Enjoy the Taste of New Cheese

Be Ready To Change Quickly and Enjoy It Again

They Keep Moving the Cheese.”

You’ll see that ATTITUDE is everything! Every time you make mindful choices that supports the lifestyle you envision for yourself, you’re taking back the control you need. Each success empowers you to go on to the next with confidence. If you want more “cheese” in your life and need to learn how to deal with change more effectively, give me a call and we can set up an appointment in person or via Skype so I can help you “read the writing on the wall” as you progress to the next chapter in our life.

Building Momentum to Achieve Excellence In All You Do

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills.

“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” ~ Dale Carnegie

I want to do it, but… I’ll do it when… I’ll get around to it if…

It’s easy to master the art of procrastination, isn’t it? We put it off. We postpone. We ignore it. We hope it will resolve itself. We just don’t get started. And this inactivity leaves us feeling stagnant and in a rut. It feels like we’re always struggling in an uphill battle.

Never rising to a challenge or finishing a task undermines self-esteem. There’s no sense of adventure. No feeling of accomplish. No satisfaction, self-confidence, or ambition. There are only excuses so we don’t have to leave our comfort zone. That’s not the kind of life I want to live. What about you?

I want to feel alive, to try new things and experience each moment fully. I want to derive joy and satisfaction from what I do and who I am in all my relationships. If that’s how you feel too, then building momentum and harnessing its power is essential.

Momentum is an interesting phenomenon. Once you get the ball rolling and you build some momentum, it becomes self-perpetuating. It just keeps rolling under its own steam. Remember how it feels to ride a bicycle. The first few pumps on the pedals give your leg muscles a workout, but as you pick up speed, that bicycle takes you a long way while you coast along for the ride.

The longer you wait to take action, the more you procrastinate, the harder it is to get started and build some momentum. Circumstances will never be perfect. If you’re waiting until they are, you’ll be waiting forever. It’s not going to be any easier tomorrow. In fact, delaying makes it worse, because the resistance in your mind gets stronger. We convince ourselves that what we want is too difficult and we talk ourselves out of trying.

Taking consistent action is vital to building momentum. If you consciously and consistently take action every day, you’ll see that it takes less effort on your part. You’ll begin to enjoy your activities and you’ll feel empowered and confident. How do you do it?

Building momentum in three easy steps:

1) Make a commitment to yourself because the action is important to your happiness. Keeping the rewards of your goal in mind will fuel you to keep taking consistent action. If it’s not that important to you, just let it go and focus on something that really matters. Once you make that commitment, the majority of your attention should go toward moving forward. That’s how you build momentum!

2) Take the first baby step. What’s the one thing you can do right now to get started? Get up and do it! (Please wait until after you finish this article, of course.) Even tiny actions will eventually build momentum and produce results, as long as you’re consistent.

3) It’s the journey, not the destination that’s important. More often than not, you will learn more about yourself and grow as an individual if you focus on the process of how you get to your goal. Many people abandon their goals because they don’t see the big vision results they expected fast enough. Slow down and enjoy the process. Don’t get so obsessed with results that you discourage yourself. In other words, focus on the baby successes, the changes you make, and the knowledge you acquire as you move forward.

What do you want to accomplish? I encourage you to begin today with one baby step that moves you toward that goal. This daily success will fuel your momentum to continue tomorrow. And do you know what builds momentum even faster? Getting someone to help you, instead of trying to do it all alone. I would love to assist you. I’m hosting a new workshop, The Power of Embodied Presence – Empowering Women Through Somatic Education and the Art of Relationship, on July 16, 2016. Click here to learn more.