Maria Connolly, LPC Facebook Facebook Facebook

Tag: Internal Conflicts

How to Find YOUR Inner Voice and Quiet the Noise

Learn how to mindfully, and joyfully, find your inner voice, by assessing and controlling your thoughts, while quieting the unhelpful voices of others.“Somewhere in there, among the worries, questions, advice and advertising jingles, lives your intuition, your true ‘inner voice.’ You can hear it to the extent that you give it your attention.” ~ Martha Beck

There are times when I still hear my mother’s voice in my head. That’s not surprising since she’s been there my whole life. Sometimes I find her voice helpful; sometimes that voice is trying to keep me safe and not take risks. Over the years, the voices of authority — parents, teachers, mentors — became part of my inner voice, and they weren’t always speaking MY truth. This illustrates why it’s so important to know how to find YOUR inner voice — and learn to listen to it and trust it. Then you’ll be able to quiet the noise from everyone else.

Continue reading

Emotional Healing — We Can’t Do It Alone, We Need to Heal in Relationship

Emotional healing is a combination of doing personal, internal work and putting your new skill into practice within your relationships — it takes both.Emotional healing is part of our life journey to recognize how others have impacted our lives in the past and how we can process any hurt so that we may keep moving forward. Hiding from or trying to deny the pain causes the wound to go deeper and become more long-lasting. Emotional healing embraces the pain in the sense of using it to learn about ourselves and how we fit into the world around us. It’s a mindful process of observing, without judgment, identifying the thoughts, feelings, sensations, emotions that we feel, then learning to channel them in productive ways. 

There’s no denying that emotional pain hurts! And we don’t like to hurt. Yet trying to avoid emotional pain makes us live in fear. We’ll end up making decisions that avoid commitment, risk or failure. As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, “We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.” 

Continue reading

Develop Somatic Intelligence to Reconnect with Your Body and Unlock Your Potential

When you develop somatic intelligence, your mind and body will work together — no more internal conflicts, unresolved emotions, nor shattered dreams!“There’s a difference between intellect and intelligence. Noise propagates the former, silence the later. Intellect is inherited, intelligence is inherent.” ~ Drew Gerald

When I asked my friend how she was feeling, she replied, “Just fine!” Her words sounded so upbeat. But her body was saying something different. Dark, clouded eyes were downcast; mouth tense; shoulders rolled forward, almost as if they were curving over to protect her heart; hands clenching. Because of years of developing sensory acuity, I could tell she really thought everything was okay, but the dissonance with her body told another story.

As I gently inquired further, her story emerged. As she spoke, a softening of her body occurred. By the end of our lunch together, she exclaimed, “I feel so much better. I didn’t know that was bothering me so much!”

You can probably relate. Your body often knows things long before your mind catches up. It remembers today’s experiences AND all of your past experiences.

However, we’ve learned to doubt our body wisdom, to second guess ourselves, to ignore the messages that the body is sending. We spend so much time treating the body as a separate entity apart from thoughts and feelings that we create conflict and disharmony within ourselves.

Continue reading

Unlearn the Lessons of a Toxic Childhood — You Deserve to be Loved!

A toxic childhood teaches you many unhealthful and unhelpful lessons; and it fails to teach you the most valuable lesson — that you’re worthy of love. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ~ Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Do you think that love always comes with strings attached? That if someone is a winner then you’re a loser? That you need to placate everyone? That being neglected or abused verbally or physically is normal and you make excuses for it? That emotions make you vulnerable and weak? That it’s better to feel nothing? That you’re on your own?

Then it’s highly likely you’ve learned “lessons” from a toxic childhood that are neither healthful nor accurate. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the neglect and abuse you suffered in your toxic childhood. You didn’t deserve to be ignored for days on end. You didn’t deserve the belittling and constant criticism. You were not to blame.

Continue reading

How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments When “It’s Over!”

How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments when “It’s Over!”“You can’t possibly embrace that new relationship, that new companion, that new career, that new friendship, or that new life you want, while you’re still holding on to the baggage of the last one. Let go… and allow yourself to embrace what is waiting for you right at your feet.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Out of the blue, Lisa’s significant other announced, “I’m leaving you.” She was thunderstruck. She didn’t see it coming and she felt totally shattered. What was she going to do? How could she carry on? She’d made this man her life for the past six years, and now he says, “It’s over!” How can this be happening to her?

This scenario occurs all too often today. Perhaps you yourself have lived through a similar situation. If so, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept that you will get through this.

It’s natural to form emotional attachments to people and things, because they help us feel connected. That vase your grandmother gave you is priceless, because it reminds you of her. Your job is important because it gives you a sense of belonging and purpose. You love your sporty red convertible because it reminds you that you’re a success. You’re proud of your handsome partner, because he makes you feel needed and loved.

When the vase breaks, the job ends, the car dies, or your romantic partner calls it quits, you feel so much shock and pain! Your strong emotional attachments cause you to go through stages of mourning — including denial, anger, blame, and depression. In the case of the romantic partner, it can be worse, because he’s choosing to leave. It’s a personal rejection that cuts deeply.

Continue reading

  • 1
  • 2

Let's get started with 30 free minutes

I invite you to learn more about me and my coaching and counseling services. Please contact me to schedule an “It starts with you!” 30-minute complimentary consultation with me, in-person, by phone or via video consultation, so we can explore our partnership.

SCHEDULE


How to Step Forward to a Future You've Created

Discover how to replace your old, self-limiting map with a new map full of possibilities for the future

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE INTRO TO STEPPING FORWARD TODAY!

© Neways Integrated Wellness Center. All rights reserved. Site developed and hosted by Rogue Web Works.
Professional Certified Coach by International Coach Federation