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How Well Do You Know Yourself? The 3-Pronged Approach to Loving Yourself More

How well do you know yourself? Make your journey of self-discovery easier and more rewarding by employing these three elements of self-worth.To want to get to know yourself — from the inside, not through other’s expectations — is a radical act of love. How well do you know yourself? 

Begin the most beautiful journey you will ever take…the journey to self-discovery It starts with cultivating genuine curiosity about YOU, what you like, love, prefer, aspire to. 

Let’s explore the three elements of the Inner Fitness Challenge tool — Self-Love, Self-Respect & Self-Compassion — and how we weave them together to enjoy our journey fully.

The beauty of this 5th Inner Fitness tool is that it helps you suspend judgment and quiet negative talk and limiting beliefs.

How to Know and Love Yourself More

Work through these Inner Fitness Challenge tools to develop inner strength and peaceLike a three-pronged plug of an electrical cord, employing these three elements simultaneously will energize and ground you. You’ll shine your light brightly and empower others, while still having enough energy to care for your needs. 

Self-love: You value your unique way of improving life for yourself and others. When you know you’re worthy of love, you find yourself worthy of all aspects of the human experience – good health, fulfilling relationships, and satisfying careers. 

Self-respect: You don’t need to be fixed. There’s nothing wrong with you. This good and bad or right and wrong approach to life results in judgment, which gets in the way of observation. This is where you mindfully explore (tool #1) your body sensations (tool #2) and the emotions behind them. Then after observing these, you can assess what is serving you in this stage of your life and either accept or reject a course of action. 

Self-compassion: You joyfully revel in the freedom to be who you are today. You don’t need to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like something about yourself, you nudge yourself into being a better version of YOU. And when you’re hurt, you treat yourself with the same compassion you would show a dear friend. 

Why is this tool such a challenging one for many women to embrace? We’ve learned to be hard on ourselves. We think it is a way to motivate and inspire ourselves, but, ultimately, it only creates harshness and brokenness inside. It instills fear and disconnection. 

Try this quick self-compassion exercise to understand how this works: 

Make a tight fist with one of your hands and keep it tightened. With the other, try to pry it open. Notice what happens. Most people report not only their fist tightening more, but feeling frustrated, sometimes angry. 

Now, shake that off. Make a tight fist with the same hand. When you are ready, place your other hand under the fist and support it. With a gentle and soft voice say, “Let me help you do that”. 

Notice the difference. I suspect that your experience is quite different from the first time. Most people here report feeling the fist relax and open a little. Some feel touched to the point of tears. 

We crave this kindness. We have told ourselves that, if we are kind, we’ll never accomplish anything. It’s powerful to experience how our body responds to inner-directed kindness. Trust in your goodness. I know it’s hard. Yet, it’s the practice we must cultivate to become whole and well. 

Learning to treat yourself with love, respect, and compassion takes time.

Radically accept yourself for who you are now, and where you are in your life, including the challenges, obstacles, limitations, and limiting beliefs.

Here are some suggestions to make getting to know yourself easier and more enjoyable…

Suspend judgment. Your current situation is neither bad or good, it just is. Become comfortable with your strengths and find ways to compensate for your weaknesses. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. (Compensating means building support systems of people who supply what you lack.)

 Let go of the relentless drive to transform yourself into someone you’re not. See what’s possible and what is not, at the present time. If you see it’s possible in the future, look for what you can do today and tomorrow to get you closer to that goal. If something is beyond you, mourn it. Mourning your limitations releases any guilt or shame you might have about them, bringing you closer to full acceptance. 

Practice seeing and verbalizing the good you see in others. As a result, you can more easily see the good in yourself. The way you treat yourself informs others how they should treat you. Equally, how you treat others reflects on how you feel about yourself. 

Show yourself fierce compassion. This is mama bear compassion which means you stand up for yourself. Don’t be afraid to rock the boat, speak up about your pain, and never be ashamed about protecting yourself. If this is an area you know you need to explore further, I’d love to partner with you.

Your “Dream Big, Start Small” here’s the one thing you can do today.

Self-Love, Self-Respect and Self-Compassion are three elements of Tool #4 of the Inner Fitness Challenge dealing with how well you know yourself

Words have tremendous power so sometimes a simple mantra can help. Pick one of the following and use it for the next month. As you begin believing these words and accepting their power, choose another and then another. 

  1. I deserve to feel safe, comfortable, and confident in my body.
  2. I am worthy of love and care.
  3. My body is perfect the way it is.
  4. I am at peace with my history/experiences.
  5. My body is a tremendous gift. I will treat it with love and kindness.
  6. I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
  7. I am worthy of success and abundance.
  8. I move/act in alignment with my highest self.
  9.  I turn self-doubt into curiosity. 
  10. I am ready to embrace every challenge as an opportunity to grow and improve. 
  11. My contributions are unique and meaningful. 
  12. I am enough. 
  13. I do my best. 
  14. I embrace and cherish being a woman.
  15.  I empower myself and all women in the world. 
  16. I am a wonderful daughter/mother/sister/partner to my mother/children/siblings/partner. 
  17. I am confident in my sexuality. 
  18. All my words, thoughts, and actions align with my highest purpose and values. 
  19. Today I am centered in my heart, and closer to Spirit/God/Source/the Universe. 
  20. I open my mind and heart to the perfect love of God/Spirit/Source/the Universe. 

How well do you know yourself now? How many new things have you discovered during this challenge? Let’s share our experiences on Facebook or LinkedIn. And keep following the Inner Fitness Challenge on my website.

 

Photo of woman by Nick Owuor (astro.nic.portraits)

Inner Fitness Challenge


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