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Category: Life Skills

Learn how to focus on the soft skills, the people skills like good communication, effective leadership, positive motivation, and managing your emotions.

Change Your Attitude Change Your Life — You Have the Power!

The right attitude is one of the most important ingredients for personal and professional success – learn how to change your attitude, change your life…“The ship’s gone, the stores are gone…so I guess we’ll go home.” ~ Sir Ernest Shackleton, after his ship the Endurance was crushed by ice and sunk, stranding them in the Antarctic, in 1915.

Twenty months after casually speaking the above words, Shackleton and his crew did emerge from that icebound landscape. He was a genius for setting the right attitude that would enable him and his 27 men to survive 20 brutal months of isolation, deprivation and below 0˚F weather. They did so in high spirits and not a man was lost. How did they do it? What can we learn about thriving during isolation and times of uncertainty? How can you use their experience to change your attitude, change your life?

As the men left the ship, they each took 2 pounds of provisions. The captain also made sure a 12-pound banjo came along for evening concerts and sing-a-longs. After reflecting on how the crew of the Belgica — the first expedition that overwintered in the Antarctic in 1897 — went mad and perished, Shakleton learned that having the right attitude, filling each day with healthful activities and keeping a routine were essential for survival.

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How to Cultivate Patience: The Key to Achieving Professional Mastery

When you cultivate patience, you give yourself time to grow to professional mastery, enjoying the process and staying focused on what matters most.The path of the Warrior is lifelong, and mastery is often simply staying on the path. ~ Richard Strozzi-Heckler

An experienced sailor needs to cultivate patience in order to safely reach his or her destination. They learn the things within their control, such as the set of the sails. And the things outside their control, such as the wind! It’s part art, part science, but only those with patience stick with it! As we sail through our life, cultivating patience is key to getting to our destination of professional mastery.

This brings to mind the story of Nadia. This 60-year-old coach came to see me because she was unhappy with her professional life. She described her career as average. She’s passionate about learning and, over the years, she’s become a Jill-of-all-trades-and-master-of-none. As we spoke, I began to see a pattern emerging that revealed the cause of her discontent – she had not worked to cultivate patience.

Here’s how I knew this…

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Compassionate Listening Heals Those Who Speak and Who Listen

Compassionate listening helps heal the one speaking and the one listening,  bearing witness to their pain, their story, forming a bond of understanding.“Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.” ~ Krista Tippett

After the Alameda fire devastated our beautiful Rogue Valley on September 8th, I wanted to help beyond Go-Fund-Me and food/clothing donations. My search was rewarded when I attended a training on compassionate listening organized by the Hearth Community in Ashland. It reaffirmed to me the intense and healing power in the act of compassionate listening, when we engage both our ears and our hearts.

During the training we listened to each other – we got to bring to life all of our emotions in a healing circle. As each person spoke, we all felt safer and stronger as a community. That’s the power of gathering together for compassionate listening.

As I go through each day now, I listen for the many stories about what happened on September 8. One in particular stands out to me, and I’d love to share her story with you —

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Self-Discovery – The Most Enriching Journey You’ll Ever Take

Make YOUR journey of self-discovery exciting and enjoyable. Learn simple techniques that are key to making self-discovery insightful and productive.“Know yourself. Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” ~ Ann Landers

Growing up, I learned to associate academic achievement with self-worth. That was the message — you have worth if you get an A; and you don’t, if you don’t succeed. With wisdom, I’ve come to learn that this message was faulty. I can still get satisfaction from taking classes and learning, but these days I practice kindness and self-love to deepen my self-worth.

To want to get to know yourself — from the inside, not through other’s expectations — is a radical act of love. To be genuinely curious about YOU, what you like, love, prefer, aspire to, is the beginning of the most beautiful journey you will ever take…the journey to self-discovery.

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Unlearn the Lessons of a Toxic Childhood — You Deserve to be Loved!

A toxic childhood teaches you many unhealthful and unhelpful lessons; and it fails to teach you the most valuable lesson — that you’re worthy of love. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ~ Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Do you think that love always comes with strings attached? That if someone is a winner then you’re a loser? That you need to placate everyone? That being neglected or abused verbally or physically is normal and you make excuses for it? That emotions make you vulnerable and weak? That it’s better to feel nothing? That you’re on your own?

Then it’s highly likely you’ve learned “lessons” from a toxic childhood that are neither healthful nor accurate. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the neglect and abuse you suffered in your toxic childhood. You didn’t deserve to be ignored for days on end. You didn’t deserve the belittling and constant criticism. You were not to blame.

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