Maria Connolly, LPC
Learn how to focus on the soft skills, the people skills like good communication, effective leadership, positive motivation, and managing your emotions.
Sometimes, we want something to work so badly we end up overextending ourselves almost to the point of breaking. Some people call it bending over backward for someone. You’ve been there, right? At the time, the situation seems to demand that you keep giving just to maintain a semblance of peace.
Part of being human is going through different phases of life. As children, we’re dependent on our parents. Then in the adolescent years, we push for a more autonomous position. Then finally as adults, we learn to become interdependent.
However, whether by nature or nurture, a person may not fully evolve as he or she has the potential to do. Because our society values independence to a fault, often individuals aren’t taught or don’t learn skills to develop interdependent relationships.
One of the most emotionally charged subjects you’ll ever talk with your clients about is how their past affects their present. When it comes to making peace with the past, it’s the hurtful aspects of the past that keep us stuck. It’s especially a problem when people continue to punish themselves, attach harmful meanings to past events, or perhaps see no meaning at all.
You can use the following outline to help you talk candidly with your clients about this emotionally painful topic. In this way, they can begin the healing process.
Don’t you just hate it when you try to use your cell phone, but the battery is dead? Not because you’ve made so many calls, but because the apps running in the background have used up all the energy? These hidden drains on your operating system affect your ability to connect with others. Is something similar happening with your mental and emotional energy when you’re feeling drained? Are there hidden energy zappers working in the background that you’re not even aware of?
At the end of this article, you’ll find a list of 95 possible hidden energy drains. I encourage you to look the list over and identify the ones that are impacting your life right now. But for now, it’s more important to work on the skills that will help you manage your energy mindfully and intentionally. Then when you identify an energy zapper, you’ll know how to pull its plug!
I was recently asked by a women’s empowerment leader, Dr. Christie de la Gandara, to share how everyday rituals can empower at-risk women. She’s deeply committed to fighting the current femicide crisis in Latin America — the killing of females because of their gender. She also included my contact information in her pamphlet of resources for these women at risk, which she shared with women leaders from 23 countries meeting at a recent conference. This is a huge honor and privilege for me. And I highly commend her for her hard work on behalf of these women!
But I ask you…would you have picked the topic of everyday rituals as being helpful for women fighting for their lives? Doesn’t it give you a clue as to how powerful ritual can be for our everyday well-being?