Maria Connolly, LPC
A very successful approach to controlling stress and achieving a lasting peace and calm is to live an embodied life by creating an inner peace and calm through learning to recognize and embrace your inner experience in an honest and curiosity-filled way. It means you’re aware of your total mind/body/spirit connection and you do things daily to nurture it.
Do you feel like you’re always battling against the clock and there’s not enough time to do what you need to get done, let alone what you want to do? And since your long to-do list is never finished, maybe you’re always nagged by a feeling of failure. Here’s a secret that can help: the best time management tips are built not on being task oriented but upon creating a mindful state of mind.
Have you ever tried to calm a room full of excited children waiting for a treat? The more you shush them, the more they wiggle, giggle, and chatter. But if you channel their energy into an engaging activity, they settle down. This is a key takeaway for learning how to stay calm under pressure.
Because our adult emotions work the same way! Trying to suppress anxiety, stress, or frustration is like forcing those excited children to sit still — it’s exhausting and ineffective. Suppressing emotions often leaves you feeling like a powder keg, ready to explode.
There’s something profound about returning to the places and people that shaped us. Recently, I went back to Italy to visit my family, spending time with my mom and my brother—who holds a special place in my heart. Being back in the home I grew up in was a comforting experience, but it also stirred up a mixture of memories, both joyful and challenging. I felt firsthand how deeply the body remembers, holding traces of these formative experiences even when we aren’t consciously aware of them.
The year-end months are hectic, but I’m so grateful for a happy holiday season, aren’t you? It’s a time for reconnecting with family and friends. From October onward, I intentionally use my time to relax, reflect and assess how I’ve done over the past year.Then I can make course corrections as needed.
Of course, not everyone feels joy for a variety of reasons. For example, the added pressures from crowded stores, roads and airports can put a damper on anyone’s spirits. Plus there may be many internal pressures — we get caught up in trying to meet expectations of providing the perfect holiday experience by being the perfect daughter, sister, wife, and mother. The house has to be just so. The meals must be absolutely delicious. We may find ourselves pushing to perform on a lot less sleep and a lot more stress. Or this holiday season may be marked by sadness because a loved one is missing or it reminds you of a traumatic event.
It doesn’t have to be like that! Start planning a strategy now that will make you proud of the way you handle yourself at all times. Here are a few self-leadership suggestions that can help.
Which would you say is more stressful and damaging to your health — stress from a car accident or from a messy house? — a breakup with a romantic partner or a friend who makes you crazy because she never follows through on what she promises? — a harsh comment from a friend or self-sabotaging thoughts?
We’re well-equipped to handle short-term stressors or life-threatening situations. We deal with it, then we’re free of it. But if there’s constant, long-term, nagging stress, we suffer deeply.