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Author: Maria Connolly

How to Develop True Emotional Intimacy between Friends

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Emotional Intelligence, Fearless Mindset.

You can have emotional intimacy between friends, if you open your heart and are willing to be vulnerable.“Real connection and intimacy is like a meal, not a sugar fix.” ~ Kristin Armstrong

Does the idea of being emotionally intimate sound amazing or scary to you? Fear keeps many people distant from others. As a result, they become loners or social butterflies that flit from one encounter to another, collecting acquaintances but no real friendships.

We all need close friends who are there for us through good times and bad. They are the people who love and accept us for who we are. But, for you, how close is close enough? Do you keep people at arm’s length? Or do you embrace them wholeheartedly? Or is your comfort zone somewhere in between?

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To Improve Your Deep Listening Skills, Open Your Heart

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills.

If you want to develop deep listening skills, don’t focus solely on listening techniques; you master deep listening only when you open your heart.“Listen with your eyes as well as your ears.” ~ Graham Speechley

You might think that deep listening skills are mainly between your ears and brain. While that’s part of the process, more crucial is what’s going on in your heart — your inner person that’s powered by motives, desires, values and your way of operating in the world. If you’re tired of superficial conversations, read on…

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3 Stages to the Art of Listening: The Amazing Power of Deep Listening

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Coaching, Life Skills, Private Practice Advice.

Don’t you hate it when people don’t listen? Deep listening is Stage 3 of the Art of Listening and this is how you can develop deep listening skills.“Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” ~ Alan Alda

As Linda poured out her feelings during a recent session, she stopped and looked at me expectantly. “Aren’t you going to tell me what you think or tell me how to fix my problem? After all, that’s what everyone else does, when I try to tell how I feel.” I told her, “Number one…I don’t believe you need to be “fixed”. My job is to employ the art of listening so I can help you reflect on your feelings and find their meaning for yourself.”

Her experience illustrates how we fall into the trap of thinking about what we’re going to say next, rather than really give our full attention to what the other person is saying. It’s natural to relate what you’re hearing to your own experiences, however, this can lead to jumping to inaccurate conclusions. It’s important to make a deliberate and mindful effort to understand the other side.

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How to Find YOUR Inner Voice and Quiet the Noise

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Mindfulness, Self-Leadership Skills.

Learn how to mindfully, and joyfully, find your inner voice, by assessing and controlling your thoughts, while quieting the unhelpful voices of others.“Somewhere in there, among the worries, questions, advice and advertising jingles, lives your intuition, your true ‘inner voice.’ You can hear it to the extent that you give it your attention.” ~ Martha Beck

There are times when I still hear my mother’s voice in my head. That’s not surprising since she’s been there my whole life. Sometimes I find her voice helpful; sometimes that voice is trying to keep me safe and not take risks. Over the years, the voices of authority — parents, teachers, mentors — became part of my inner voice, and they weren’t always speaking MY truth. This illustrates why it’s so important to know how to find YOUR inner voice — and learn to listen to it and trust it. Then you’ll be able to quiet the noise from everyone else.

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The Ultimate Meaning of Life Reveals Itself if You Listen

Written by Maria Connolly. Posted in Life Skills, Self-Leadership Skills.

You can find your ultimate meaning in life by mindfully listening for what life asks of you as each challenge, opportunity, and crisis comes your way.“The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.” ~ Joseph Campbell

After suffering a severe crisis, people often contemplate the ultimate meaning of life. After surviving the holocaust, Victor Frankl wrote Yes to Life: In Spite of Everything. After a different pandemic claimed two of her children, Mary Shelley wrote The Last Man which explored what makes life worth living. Walt Whitman wrote of this same question, after he suffered a paralyzing stroke.

These people knew suffering intimately. They didn’t try to forget. They didn’t try to pretend it never happened. They didn’t become embittered. Each one emerged from their crisis, with a valuable gift for the world. After allowing themselves time to fully experience their life, including the pain, they derived a sense of meaning from it. Then they bared their souls and we benefit today from their insights.

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