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Tag: Positive thoughts – Negative thoughts

Change Your Attitude Change Your Life — You Have the Power!

The right attitude is one of the most important ingredients for personal and professional success – learn how to change your attitude, change your life…“The ship’s gone, the stores are gone…so I guess we’ll go home.” ~ Sir Ernest Shackleton, after his ship the Endurance was crushed by ice and sunk, stranding them in the Antarctic, in 1915.

Twenty months after casually speaking the above words, Shackleton and his crew did emerge from that icebound landscape. He was a genius for setting the right attitude that would enable him and his 27 men to survive 20 brutal months of isolation, deprivation and below 0˚F weather. They did so in high spirits and not a man was lost. How did they do it? What can we learn about thriving during isolation and times of uncertainty? How can you use their experience to change your attitude, change your life?

As the men left the ship, they each took 2 pounds of provisions. The captain also made sure a 12-pound banjo came along for evening concerts and sing-a-longs. After reflecting on how the crew of the Belgica — the first expedition that overwintered in the Antarctic in 1897 — went mad and perished, Shakleton learned that having the right attitude, filling each day with healthful activities and keeping a routine were essential for survival.

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Unlearn the Lessons of a Toxic Childhood — You Deserve to be Loved!

A toxic childhood teaches you many unhealthful and unhelpful lessons; and it fails to teach you the most valuable lesson — that you’re worthy of love. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ~ Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Do you think that love always comes with strings attached? That if someone is a winner then you’re a loser? That you need to placate everyone? That being neglected or abused verbally or physically is normal and you make excuses for it? That emotions make you vulnerable and weak? That it’s better to feel nothing? That you’re on your own?

Then it’s highly likely you’ve learned “lessons” from a toxic childhood that are neither healthful nor accurate. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the neglect and abuse you suffered in your toxic childhood. You didn’t deserve to be ignored for days on end. You didn’t deserve the belittling and constant criticism. You were not to blame.

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Change Your Thinking: 30 Ways to Make the World a Better Place

As you change your thinking, your life will change and the quality of our world will be improved because each of us will model the behavior we want to see.“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” ~ Aldous Huxley

The recent tragedy and the resulting protests across the world have made all of us think about how we can be a force for good in the world, not passively turning a blind eye or actively adding to the sorrows. I believe the solution lies in this: if you want to change the world, change your thinking.

Wouldn’t you agree that the quality of your life depends on YOUR attitude — the way you think about your life? It’s not dependent on your circumstances, who you’re with, or what you have. People can have it all and still be miserable. People can have so little and be joyful.

The quality of our world will be improved by each of us modeling the behavior we want to see. What qualities do you want to experience more fully?

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How to Respond to Psychological Projection in Relationships That Are Strained

Understand why we project our thoughts and feelings onto others and learn how to respond to psychological projection in relationships in healthy ways. “Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn’t ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector—mind—rather than the projected. It’s like when there’s a piece of lint on a projector’s lens. We think there’s a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whomever the flaw appears on next. But it’s futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.” ~ Byron Katie

Have you ever noticed how people hate or get irritated by the qualities in others that they themselves unknowingly possess? Take for example, Don, the husband of a close friend. He’s always making comments like, “I can’t stand people who are so controlling,” or “That woman has a control issue, for sure!” He adamantly proclaims that he hates men who control women, but those around him glance at each other with knowing looks, because we see him trying to control his wife and kids in little ways all the time.

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Not Good Enough? Only You Can Change How You Feel. Here’s How…

When you let “I’m not good enough” drive you, you give your power away and aren’t in charge of your life, so here are tips to help you change that feeling.“We see things not as they are, but as we are.” ~ H.M. Tomlinson

I’m just not good enough” is a phrase I hear from many of my clients. Maybe they don’t use those exact words, but the feeling behind many of their roadblocks can be traced back to whether or not they feel like they measure up in their own minds or in the mind of someone else.

For example, one client said to me, “I’m not happy.” Why? “Because I worked really hard on a session for my client and she didn’t respond well at all.” Is that really your fault? “If I was a better coach, they’d love everything I do.” Is that realistic? “Maybe. Maybe, not. I just feel like I’m not good enough to be a coach.” Bingo!

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