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Tag: Positive thoughts – Negative thoughts

Unlearn the Lessons of a Toxic Childhood — You Deserve to be Loved!

A toxic childhood teaches you many unhealthful and unhelpful lessons; and it fails to teach you the most valuable lesson — that you’re worthy of love. “An unpredictable parent is a fearsome god in the eyes of a child.” ~ Susan Forward, Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Do you think that love always comes with strings attached? That if someone is a winner then you’re a loser? That you need to placate everyone? That being neglected or abused verbally or physically is normal and you make excuses for it? That emotions make you vulnerable and weak? That it’s better to feel nothing? That you’re on your own?

Then it’s highly likely you’ve learned “lessons” from a toxic childhood that are neither healthful nor accurate. You didn’t deserve it. You didn’t deserve the neglect and abuse you suffered in your toxic childhood. You didn’t deserve to be ignored for days on end. You didn’t deserve the belittling and constant criticism. You were not to blame.

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Build your Self-Esteem by Nipping the Tall Poppy Syndrome in the Bud

You deserve to be proud of yourself, so here’s how you can build your self-esteem, and regain a healthful pride, when someone tries to cut you down to size.“Be proud of every scar on your heart, each one holds a lifetime’s worth of lessons.” ~ Wallace Stegner

Australians have a term — the Tall Poppy Syndrome. Have you heard of it? It’s the idea that poppies should all grow at the same height and speed. If one becomes taller than the others, it should be cut down to size, to maintain the uniformity of the crop. Do you recall a time when you were feeling on top of the world because you accomplished something wonderful; then someone threw a wet blanket on your joy, cutting you down to size? You’ve experienced the Tall Poppy Syndrome.

You deserve to be proud of yourself, so let’s examine how you can more fully build your self-esteem to withstand this pervasive attitude!

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The Ultimate Meaning of Life Reveals Itself if You Listen

You can find your ultimate meaning in life by mindfully listening for what life asks of you as each challenge, opportunity, and crisis comes your way. “The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning.” ~ Joseph Campbell

After suffering a severe crisis, people often contemplate the ultimate meaning of life. After surviving the holocaust, Victor Frankl wrote Yes to Life: In Spite of Everything. After a different pandemic claimed two of her children, Mary Shelley wrote The Last Man which explored what makes life worth living. Walt Whitman wrote of this same question, after he suffered a paralyzing stroke.

These people knew suffering intimately. They didn’t try to forget. They didn’t try to pretend it never happened. They didn’t become embittered. Each one emerged from their crisis, with a valuable gift for the world. After allowing themselves time to fully experience their life, including the pain, they derived a sense of meaning from it. Then they bared their souls and we benefit today from their insights.

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Change Your Thinking: 30 Ways to Make the World a Better Place

As you change your thinking, your life will change and the quality of our world will be improved because each of us will model the behavior we want to see.“I wanted to change the world. But I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is oneself.” ~ Aldous Huxley

The recent tragedy and the resulting protests across the world have made all of us think about how we can be a force for good in the world, not passively turning a blind eye or actively adding to the sorrows. I believe the solution lies in this: if you want to change the world, change your thinking.

Wouldn’t you agree that the quality of your life depends on YOUR attitude — the way you think about your life? It’s not dependent on your circumstances, who you’re with, or what you have. People can have it all and still be miserable. People can have so little and be joyful.

The quality of our world will be improved by each of us modeling the behavior we want to see. What qualities do you want to experience more fully?

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How to Find YOUR Inner Voice and Quiet the Noise

Learn how to find your inner voice, control your thoughts, quiet the voices — past and present — of others, and live YOUR life mindfully and with great joy.“Somewhere in there, among the worries, questions, advice and advertising jingles, lives your intuition, your true ‘inner voice.’ You can hear it to the extent that you give it your attention.” ~ Martha Beck

There are times when I still hear my mother’s voice in my head. That’s not surprising since she’s been there my whole life. Sometimes I find her voice helpful; sometimes that voice is trying to keep me safe and not take risks. Over the years, the voices of authority — parents, teachers, mentors — became part of my inner voice, and they weren’t always speaking MY truth. This illustrates why it’s so important to know how to find YOUR inner voice and be able to quiet the noise from everyone else.

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