Grief and Letting Go: Why Your Body Needs Time to Catch Up with Your Mind

Grief and letting go: when your body won’t get the memo…

Erin spent months preparing for her move to a new city, a big promotion, a fresh start. She’d said all the right goodbyes, packed her apartment, and mapped out the next steps for her career. On paper, everything looked perfect.

But the night after she arrived in her new city, alone in her barely unpacked apartment, something in her tightened. Her chest felt heavy, her jaw clenched, and a dull ache settled in her stomach. She tossed and turned through the night, heart racing without reason.

“I was so ready for this,” she told herself. So why did her body feel like it was grieving?

Because it was.

We often believe that change is a decision, a mindset shift, something we mentally process and move past. But here’s the truth we aren’t told often enough: grief and letting go is as much a physical process as a mental or emotional one.

The Body Holds On, Even When the Mind Is Ready To Move On

If you’ve ever found yourself exhausted after ending a friendship, tense after walking away from a draining project, or inexplicably restless in the middle of pursuing a long-awaited dream… your mind is moving on, but your body is holding on.

Our bodies carry patterns. They remember the shape of old routines, attachments, and identities. And even when your mind knows it’s time to move on, your nervous system might still be clinging to what was.

Grief lives in the tissues. It collects in the shoulders you tense without realizing, in the shallow breath you forget to deepen, in the stomach that flips at night when no one else is watching.

And here’s the important part: this happens even when the change is good.

Grief and Letting Go Are Necessary For Growth

We expect grief when something is taken from us. But we rarely make space for the grief that comes with choosing change. Even positive transitions involve a quiet loss, a letting go of who you were, how things were, or what once felt safe.

High-achieving women, especially, are taught to push through. To rationalize discomfort away and stay focused on the goal ahead. But growth doesn’t follow a straight line, and neither does your nervous system.

When you shift a relationship, a role, or a long-held version of yourself, your body feels it. And it needs time to reorganize.

What Letting Go Feels Like in the Body

As you move through change, you might notice:

• Tension or aches in your neck, shoulders, jaw, or hips
• Restlessness or fatigue that doesn’t match your activity
• Digestive changes or a tight knot in your stomach
• Sleep disruptions, vivid dreams, or waking with anxiety
• Waves of sadness or irritability without an obvious cause

These aren’t signs you’re failing to cope. They’re evidence that your body is metabolizing change, catching up with your decisions.

 “Dream Big, Start Small.” Here’s the one thing you can do today.

Of all our physical responses, our breath most readily reveals that we’re holding on to tension, old stories, or grief. It reveals your true state by being shallow and tight. When you notice this, invite your body to soften and release, through this simple practice of Exhale Release. 

1. Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose, gently filling your belly and ribs.

2. As you exhale through your mouth, picture in your mind something you no longer need (a thought, a tension, a memory) and let it float away on your breath.

3. Make the exhale audible if you like, a sigh or a steady “ha” sound.

4. Repeat this cycle five times, each exhale a little slower and softer than the one before.

5. Notice where your body (your jaw, shoulders, chest, or belly) begins to soften. Remind yourself: It’s safe to let go.  Right here, right now.

This small daily ritual is a beautiful way to honor your body’s wisdom and support yourself through transition.

Your Body Knows the Way Through

This is where somatic wisdom matters. Your body holds the map for navigating transitions, not by avoiding discomfort, but by listening to it. My EMERGE Method honors this truth: that lasting change happens when we integrate the physical, emotional, and mental experiences of letting go.

When you learn to tune into your body’s signals, to notice where you’re holding, resisting, or grieving, you gain access to deeper clarity and resilience.

Your tension, fatigue, or restlessness isn’t weakness. It’s communication.

A Way Forward

If you find yourself in a season of change, ask yourself:

• Where in my body am I holding on, even though my mind says I’ve let go?
• What sensations or symptoms are trying to get my attention?
• How can I offer myself small, physical rituals of release through breath, movement, or stillness?

You don’t have to navigate this alone. The EMERGE Method was created for women like you — high-achievers who are ready to live aligned with both their goals and their bodies.

Because your body knows the way through. And together, we’ll help you find it.