Change Your Perspective & Expectations – The Hidden Power to Make Everything Better
Have you ever dropped something and can’t find it? If it’s valuable, you won’t be content with standing in one spot and briefly glancing down. No, you’ll move around, bend over, stoop down, and even get on your knees to look under everything, until you find it. The same goes for life. We’re not stuck with one view. We have the power to take a step back and look at things from a new angle. And that’s what the Inner Fitness Challenge Tool #7 — Change Your Perspective / Finetune Your Expectations reminds you to do.
Truth be told, there may be certain ideas and beliefs we developed when we were younger that keep us looking at certain things from a child-like angle. We get activated by a challenge and might lack a heightened adult perspective, so we react in a way we regret. But we can develop a heightened perspective —the ability to see an event from multiple perspectives, not just the perspective of our younger self.
This is a critical skill! For example, hikers who have lost their way go to higher ground to gain a new perspective. Only then can they clearly see which direction they need to go in to make progress in their journey.
Likewise, we get stuck and don’t know which way to turn. Of course, not everything is a life-or-death matter. But when you change your perspective you can make a humdrum experience delightful or turn a mistake into a wonderful opportunity.
The key is that a more realistic, current perspective allows you to adjust your expectations.
Yes, expectations are closely linked with perspective. Your expectations can heighten your eagerness or deepen your dread. They powerfully influence your emotions and change how you act in any given situation. Yet, expectations are merely imaginations in your mind. What a powerful tool at your disposal… if you learn to harness them effectively!
Adjusting the dials on your perspective and expectations
Hikers often use binoculars to see further in greater detail. Because we have different eye strengths, they have a dial that adjusts the focus until we see clearly.
I like to think of our daily choices in terms of adjusting our dials. Your different dials regulate how you interact in your family life, career, physical well-being, spirituality, recreation, etc. For example, some days you may dial up career activities while dialing down recreation; other days you dial down career and dial up family or exercise.
And we adjust our emotional dials by mindfully choosing how we react to a situation, holding to our intentions and desired mental state. For example, you want to maintain peace and love in your family, so you remain calm as you can look beyond hurtful words and see the feelings that motivated them.
Something that clouds our clear vision and puts us into emotional overload is perfectionism. Perfectionism is either black or white/on or off. You either measure up to your standards, or your self-talk berates you for being a failure.
The beauty of the dial is that it lets you adjust your mental image and interpretations of a situation. It’s how you gradually turn up or turn down the brightness, darkness, size, volume, and importance of an event. Improvement comes in stages when we use our dials. Gradual improvement and momentary setbacks are part of the process of ultimately achieving excellence.
Change doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and practice to improve and there’s no shame in that! We are all works in progress. No one is perfect.
Here are five ways to change your perspective and expectation “dials”:
1. Recognize all-or-nothing thinking and start seeing shades in between. For example, a family dinner isn’t either “wonderful” or “terrible” and Aunt Jo isn’t “interesting” or “boring.” Be present in each moment and mindfully see what IS, always leaning toward positivity.
2. Become reasonable and flexible with yourself and others. Assess without judgment of good or bad. Instead, identify what’s working and what’s not. Then make course corrections accordingly. View everything as a learning experience, not a judgment on worthiness.
3. Prioritize your standards. Vital tasks deserve higher standards than everyday tasks. Ask yourself if your standard is equal to the task at hand.
4. Life is not a performance to be scored and rated. It’s meant to be meaningful and enjoyable.
5. Embrace the dial. Get rid of the perfectionist on/off switch and embrace the gradual turning of your dials. Use my “Are You a Perfectionist? Not Anymore!”
Practice expanding your view of a situation so you see the adjustments that are possible…
“Dream Big, Start Small” here’s the one thing you can do today.
Use the following questions to “dial in” to your daily experiences…
1. What just happened?
2. How is my body reacting to it?
3. What emotions do I feel about it?
4. What thoughts am I thinking?
5. It could be worse — how? Explain to self in detail.
6. It could be better — how? Explain to self in detail.
7. Revisit the event in this new light and see how the world hasn’t ended but has expanded with new understanding.
8. How can I use this new knowledge going forward?
As you do this exercise, you’ll see that the situation hasn’t changed, but YOU have. You’ve grown just a little bit more, and that’s what living fully is all about. Mindfully noticing your reaction to everyday situations is a powerful skill that can significantly enhance your ability to achieve your life’s ambitions and goals.
Has this challenge fired your enthusiasm to change your perspective, live life fuller, and reach for your Big Dream? If you’d like to accelerate your progress I’d be happy to support you. Why not book a 30-minute free consultation so we can figure out your next step together?
Let’s keep sharing our experiences on Facebook or LinkedIn. And keep following the Inner Fitness Challenge on my website.