How Well Do You Know Yourself? Not Well Enough If…

“He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”~ Lao Tzu

In working with professional women, I often find that they have trouble identifying their strengths, their talents, and their value. Yet, it’s so important to know who you are and what your story is in order to excel at work, to market your skills, and to feel fulfilled in life.

When someone asks you, “What’s your story?” do you freeze? And then you say, “Oh, there’s nothing special about me. I really don’t have a story.”

Or someone asks, “What are you really good at?” Do you reply with some self- deprecating comment because deep down you don’t think you’re special?

How well do you know yourself?

Often others know you better than you know yourself. They know you’re capable of so much even when you don’t think so. If this remotely describes the battle going on inside you, the first thing you need to assess is: Are you able to love yourself unconditionally?

When you know yourself well, you will unconditionally love yourself and recognize and honor your own worth.

Over the decades, I’ve seen so many extraordinary women crippled by their lack of self-compassion and negative self-talk. They can’t look at themselves in a mirror without criticizing themselves. And they can’t accept a compliment.

This negative mindset shows itself in two distinct ways:

• You review your past performance and judge yourself as “not good enough”.
• You experienced deep pain in the past and are convinced you’re worthless.

Often this negativity comes from learning to control your emotions and actions by punishing yourself rather than encouraging yourself. You either heard or told yourself hurtful things like:  “You’re so stupid.” “That was dumb.” “Your older sister never did a bonehead thing like that. Why can’t you be more like her?” “You don’t deserve anything better because you always mess up.” “You deserve to be hurt, because you’re not lovable.”

It’s time to get to know who you are and see all the good and wonderful things about yourself. You are an exceptional person worthy of honor, love and respect.

Let’s turn the negativity around so you can motivate yourself through positive encouragement! You can retrain your brain to analyze your feelings, sort out what’s true and what’s not, and focus on the positive in everything you experience.

Learning to love yourself unconditionally is a process you can master with practice.  You’re going to be peeling back the layers. Be willing to experience pain and accept, not judge, your emotions and feelings. Don’t give up. With persistence it will get easier. The pain will diminish over time.

It’s taken you a lifetime to get to where you are today. Be patient with yourself as you retrain yourself to come from a place of self-compassion and love.

When you do learn to love yourself unconditionally you can:

• Be the real you and feel comfortable in your own skin.
• Recognize the amazing talents you have.
• Feel more empowered and energized to take advantage of new opportunities.
• Find more inner strength to stand up for yourself and what you believe in.
• Be able to ask for what you want and need.
• Be more resilient and persistent in the face of challenges.
• Bounce back from failure and suffer less from stress.
• Experience wellbeing and happiness.
• Build warm, positive relationships.

Be happy and proud that you’re an emotional being with values, needs and wants. Learn to honor these so you can feel whole. Explore and identify how your “Inner Critic” is trying to protect you from pain, and then accept its direction as it motivates you toward excellence. 

Don’t allow a moment, a situation, or an experience to define who you are. You may have a moment of depression, anxiety, or anger. But that’s not who you are. You have the power to identify what triggers those emotions and you get to choose how to deal with those emotions. Take my 7-Point Body Wellness Assessment and get to know yourself on a much deeper level.