Skip to main content

Maria Connolly, LPC Facebook Facebook Facebook

Engage a Receiving Mindset. It’s The Power Skill That Makes Life Changes Last!

Developing a receiving mindset is more than looking for the silver lining. It’s not rationalizing, talking yourself into seeing negatives positively. Often, we think that changing a behavior means that we stop doing, or give up, something. For example, If I want to stop gaining weight, I need to stop eating sugar or carbs. However, a more positive and productive way to think about it is to engage a receiving mindset. 

What does a receiving mindset look like? You’re going to be adventurous and experiment with different vegetables and fruits and ways of preparing them. As a result, you’ll be gaining a wider variety of food that’s better for you so you feel like you want to feel. You’ll actually be eating more of the good stuff.

Developing a receiving mindset is more than looking for the silver lining. You’re not rationalizing your decision so you talk yourself into viewing a negative positively. You are deeply and mindfully looking until you see the positive upside of your decision, why you’re making it, and what it will do for you long term. As  Brené Brown said in her book, The Gifts of Imperfection

Until we can receive with an open heart, we’re never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”

To illustrate this point: I wrote previously about how my client, Cora, had stored a lifetime of overextending herself within her body. Let’s continue where we left off…

When I asked Cora what overextending did to her over time, she admitted that at a macro level, she often doesn’t know what she likes, wants, or needs. It was never important to know. It was more important to know what other people needed, wanted, and felt.

At a micro level, it’s very difficult for her to take in a compliment. (I bet you can relate to this!) She either squirms, minimizes it or ignores it. So, I proposed that developing a receiving mindset about compliments could be her practice for the next week or so.

Cora’s new receiving mindset goal: be more comfortable with receiving compliments.

Here are the steps that she used to engage the receiving mindset:

  1. Notice without judgment what happens when someone pays her a compliment (Notice)
  2. Put her hand on her heart while saying thank you (Disrupt)
  3. Practice this new behavior (Practice)

Cora decided to try it for a week or so even though she was already feeling the discomfort in her body. This new behavior was the opposite of what she had practiced and embodied all her life.

Betty Martin, in her book The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent reveals why a receiving mindset is so vital. She said,

“Your ability to give what is real and effective is directly proportional to your ability to receive what is real and meaningful to you.”

We often lack this balance. We have too much overextending and not enough receiving in our lives. Stopping the practice of overextending is challenging because it goes against the grain; it is effort. Practicing receiving can create a new balance in our system in a graceful and organic way.

 I started paying attention to the processes and systems that created the greatest impact in my life. Some are seemingly insignificant; some are major breakthroughs. Combined, they form a road map for Stepping Forward into creating my life of meaning and fulfillment. I invite you to download an Introduction to The Stepping Forward Program.

Thank you for the photo Dushawn Jovic

empower women, Living Fully, Personal Growth - Professional Growth

Let's get started with 30 free minutes

I invite you to learn more about me and my coaching and counseling services. Please contact me to schedule an “It starts with you!” 30-minute complimentary consultation with me, in-person, by phone or via video consultation, so we can explore our partnership.


How to Step Forward to a Future You've Created

Discover how to replace your old, self-limiting map with a new map full of possibilities for the future