Do You Love Yourself Enough? Here are 25 Signs You Don’t…
As a preteen, did you ever use a daisy to predict if a boy liked you? As you plucked a petal you said, “He loves me.” Then, for the next petal, “He loves me not.”
Kind of sweet but silly, wasn’t it?
Looking back, I think it would have served us better to focus on whether, “I love me or I love me not.” That’s the real foundation for how we live our lives. And it’s often something we don’t get entirely right because of what life throws at us.
Self-love is knowing and accepting that you deserve as much love and affection as anyone else on earth. It means taking care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs with kindness. Sad to say, many people don’t treat themselves very well.
However, it’s vital that you love yourself enough. No it’s not selfish or narcissistic or egotistical! If you don’t love yourself, you won’t respect, value or honor yourself. You won’t be happy. Why? Because if you don’t love yourself, what’s the alternative? Indifference. Self-hate. Self-loathing.
If you don’t love yourself, you won’t take proper care of yourself or be happy. This may manifest itself in the following ways:
- You feel bad about taking time for yourself.
- You tell yourself you’re not good, pretty or smart enough.
- You apologize continually for things that don’t need an apology.
- You put everyone else first at the expense of your own needs and wants.
- You compare yourself unfavorably to others.
- You need permission to make self-care a priority.
- You feel guilty about spending money on fun things.
- You pack your schedule so full because you can’t stand quiet.
- You have no idea what your purpose is or what sets your soul on fire.
- You need to know what others decide before you make a decision.
- You beat yourself up for past failings.
- You think you have no gifts or talents or you play them down.
- You’re self-critical, only seeing your flaws and feeling unworthy.
- You lack self-confidence, so you never try anything that feels risky.
- You find it very difficult to stand up for yourself.
- You avoid introspection and soul searching.
- You blame circumstances or someone else, never seeing your contribution to a problem.
- You often say, “I can’t”.
- You need others to validate you – “I’m nothing if he doesn’t approve of me”.
- You hide your feelings and thoughts so people don’t know the “real” you.
- You feel like you’re just existing and getting by.
- You keep punishing yourself over the past.
- You neglect your health and appearance.
- You quit learning and improving because you think, “What’s the use?”
- You can’t trust your gut or intuition as you second-guess yourself.
This list is by no means comprehensive, but you may see the tendency toward viewing yourself negatively. Even well-adjusted persons may experience a twinge or two as they read it. We all have a past that follows us in adulthood. We’re all a work in process.
If you’re not treating yourself with the love you deserve, I’d love to help you discover practical ways for achieving greater self-awareness and self-love. I know how scary this can be, but we can do this together. I’ll be sharing some ways to get started in my next blog post.
Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). I’m looking forward to speaking with you soon.