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4 Core Components of Resilience: How to Become a More Resilient Person

Quote: You Are Stronger Than You Think“If you can see yourself as an artist, and you can see that your life is your own creation, then why not create the most beautiful story for yourself?” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

Life is full of unexpected twist and turns; some are pleasant and welcomed, others are devastating. At times we may think we just can’t endure it. Especially is this so after the loss of a loved one to death or a cherished privilege is snatched away from you, such as a dream job, a vocation that has defined your identity, or your security. What is it that makes us get back up, dust ourselves off and keep going? It’s the quality of resilience.

What is resilience?

We’ve been hearing a lot more about the need to build resilience, since COVID-19. Many are feeling that life, as we have known it, will never be the same again. What is resilience? Why does it help? How do we build resilience, if we feel we’ve used it all up?

First, you might have to alter your current definition of resilience to allow this word to encompass its full meaning. Resilience is not something you pull off the shelf, when you need to “bounce back” from adversity. Bouncing back is just one aspect of resilience, because, by itself, you might reactively bounce off in a direction you don’t want to go!

Somatically we understand resilience as our capacity to holistically return to center. We connect with what our body, emotions, thoughts and reactions are telling us, without judgment. But that’s not all…

Resilience involves thoroughly assessing, acknowledging, and choosing. We intentionally choose to generate a new state that allows us to return to purpose, with a broader perspective and possibly more creative solution for the situation at hand. It’s a quality we all use, in some measure, every day. It’s a quality that skilled leaders are using to inspire their clients and teams to see great possibilities and stay connected. 

What are the four core components of resilience?

Like building a muscle, building resilience takes intentional and consistent effort to enhance the following four core components of resilience:

  1. self-awareness,
  2. self-care,
  3. resourceful thoughts and
  4. maintaining a bigger perspective.

Do you have the capacity to enhance each one of these components? Then you have the capacity for building greater resilience.

If you’re still not sure you’re a resilient person, here is a Recognizing Resilience Exercise you can use to bring your innate resilience to the fore:

Close your eyes and recall the last time you felt resilient. (Remember this isn’t dependent on coming back from a tragedy; it’s when you experienced a sense of being fully alive, connected, creative and engaged, perhaps as you accomplished something new or simply from becoming more mindful and grateful for your wins and blessings.)

Once you access this, explore it fully. Ask yourself questions like,

    • How does resilience make me feel in my sensations? (Less stress, more relaxed, expansive, straighter posture, downcast eyes raised up, deeper breathing, calmer, or excited.)
    • How does resilience bring me closer to the persons involved? (Less judgmental, more understanding, more connected, more caring, better listener, more in tune.)
    • How does resilience connect me with the project at hand? (Less anxious, more curious, more creative, greater competence, more skillful)
    • How has resilience enhanced my view of life? (Less rigid, more joyful, more open, more aware, more eager, more resourceful, more possibilities)

Now translate this exercise into a regular practice. Be committed to this practice. If necessary, make an appointment on your calendar for building resilience daily, weekly, or at the very least monthly. Connect this Recognizing Resilience Exercise with a ritual that brings you to your center — walk in nature, visit your “special place”, take a road trip, doing a breathing exercise, light a candle, play meditative music — whatever puts you into a contemplative, resourceful state.

By creating a sacred time and space for the Recognizing Resilience Exercise and working on the four components of resilience individually, you’ll be more prepared to weather whatever the world throws at you.

Is there one core component of resilience you’d like to specifically work on and you’d like my help? Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation by phone or via Skype. We can work out a plan that will bring you the best results possible.


Let's get started with 30 free minutes

I invite you to learn more about me and my coaching and counseling services. Please contact me to schedule an “It starts with you!” 30-minute complimentary consultation with me, in-person, by phone or via video consultation, so we can explore our partnership.


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