Maria Connolly, LPC

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Continually grow as a person and find your work/life balance

How to Let Go of Hurt, Hate, Anger, and Pain & Nurture Inner Peace

We feel hurt when we feel used or betrayed. Yet this suffering can stay far too long. To recover, we must learn how to let go of hurt, hate, anger and pain.“Whatever comes, let it come, what stays let stay, what goes let go.” ~ Papaji

We’ve all been hurt by another person at some time or another. We’ve all felt used, unseen or betrayed. And while this pain is normal, sometimes the suffering stays for far too long. We relive the experience over and over, and have a hard time letting go, because we’re trying to figure out what went wrong. This not only causes us to be unhappy, but can distract us from our lives, making us hesitant to open up to new things and people. We get trapped in a cycle of hurt and confusion, and miss out on the beauty of life as it happens.

It’s vital to learn to let go of the hurt, to be able to forgive, so we can move on and be present for what matters most. This is something I learned the hard way, not once but several times. Moving forward, I want to love deeply and let go more easily when the time comes.

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How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments When “It’s Over!”

How to Let Go of Emotional Attachments when “It’s Over!”“You can’t possibly embrace that new relationship, that new companion, that new career, that new friendship, or that new life you want, while you’re still holding on to the baggage of the last one. Let go… and allow yourself to embrace what is waiting for you right at your feet.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Out of the blue, Lisa’s significant other announced, “I’m leaving you.” She was thunderstruck. She didn’t see it coming and she felt totally shattered. What was she going to do? How could she carry on? She’d made this man her life for the past six years, and now he says, “It’s over!” How can this be happening to her?

This scenario occurs all too often today. Perhaps you yourself have lived through a similar situation. If so, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please accept that you will get through this.

It’s natural to form emotional attachments to people and things, because they help us feel connected. That vase your grandmother gave you is priceless, because it reminds you of her. Your job is important because it gives you a sense of belonging and purpose. You love your sporty red convertible because it reminds you that you’re a success. You’re proud of your handsome partner, because he makes you feel needed and loved.

When the vase breaks, the job ends, the car dies, or your romantic partner calls it quits, you feel so much shock and pain! Your strong emotional attachments cause you to go through stages of mourning — including denial, anger, blame, and depression. In the case of the romantic partner, it can be worse, because he’s choosing to leave. It’s a personal rejection that cuts deeply.

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When Relationships Change or End, Maintain Your Peace and Happiness

We thrive on healthy relationships! But when relationships change or end, you can still maintain your inner happiness and peace by enhancing these 5 skills…“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ~ Ann Landers

Life without any relationships would be unbearable! We thrive when we invest time and emotional connection on healthy relationships, such as family, friends, and a romantic partner. The challenge arises when expectations aren’t met…when relationships change or end. How you navigate the sea of emotions that arise when a relationship doesn’t work out, will determine if you continue moving forward in life or you get stuck in time.

There can be a great deal of pain when relationships change or end. Sometimes, it’s hard to make sense of it all. It’s normal to ask, “Why did it happen? Who’s to blame? Why me?” Navigating all the emotions that flood through you at times like these — anger, sadness, betrayal, abandoned, fear, shame, vindictiveness, loneliness — can be difficult to understand and manage.

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How to Stay Grounded in Reality – 10 Traits Grounded People Display

Life today is so stressful, many wonder how to stay grounded in reality. If you’d like more peace, learn and practice the 10 traits grounded people display.“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” ~ Tony Schwartz

As Beth drove to work, a car cut in front of her and nearly caused an accident. So many things were going wrong with her day. She’d spilled coffee on her shirt and had to rush and change. The thick frost on the driveway caused her to slip and fall. Was the whole day going to be one long disaster? Not at all!

Beth in one of the most grounded people I know. Because she practices mindfulness, she is completely present in the moment. Even under trying circumstances, she knows how to regain control of her mental and emotional self. She doesn’t let external forces change who she is. Would you like to be more like Beth?

Life today is so stressful, many wonder how to stay grounded in reality, when the world is falling apart around you. If you could use greater peace of mind, I invite you to learn and practice the following 10 traits grounded people display.

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Be Thankful for Setbacks in Life? You’ve GOT to be Kidding! Maybe Not…

You can be grateful for the setbacks in life, when you use them as opportunities to learn, course correct and for developing resilience and personal growth.“If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

This time of year, many people make time to enjoy family, friends and some good food, too. What I love about this time of year is that it gives me the opportunity to reflect on everything I’m grateful for, like you being part of my community. I’m also loving my new website design and excited about new upcoming projects next year. How about you? The holiday season and end of year gives everyone the opportunity to enhance your ability to be grateful for all that comes into your life — even the setbacks in life!

What!? Do you think I’m crazy to write “be grateful for ALL that comes into your life”? Is there a benefit to accepting both the “good” and “bad”? (I use the apostrophes, because it’s not helpful to label anything as good or bad, even though this is how people commonly phrase what’s presently working as opposed to what’s not working.) We can all benefit somehow from anything that happens. It just depends on how you look at it.

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