Always Believe in Yourself
Are you a good friend? You accept, value, and appreciate your friend for who she is. You bring out the best in her. You gently encourage her when she feels down. You believe in her even when she’s at her worst. Now, stop and think if you treat yourself that way. Do you always believe in yourself? If you’re like many women, your relationship with self may just be the hardest one for you to believe in and support.
To reach the point where you can always believe in yourself takes intentional work. It’s important to move from judging to observing yourself, from dismissing to celebrating your strengths, from criticizing to gently accepting your limitations, from motivating yourself with “I should” to staying connected with your highest purpose, and from holding back to asking for support.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, you can make minor adjustments to each of these areas and achieve tremendous results. Always believe in yourself and bring your best to everything you do by strengthening your sense of self in the following ways…
We tend to be in a hurry to judge ourselves negatively. Self-judgment is a huge distraction from self-observation. For example, a group of women are having lunch and one says, “I’m going to be bad and have another (drink, slice of cake, etc.).” Later, she bemoans how it’s made her feel bloated and she criticized herself for being weak and giving in.
Notice she judged herself as “bad” for making that choice? If instead, she had mindfully thought about what was making her reach for that item, she could have identified the causative emotion, and managed it with a healthier option. In this way she would have recalled her deeper values and made a choice she was ultimately happier about.
Gentleness, self-compassion, and honesty are the foundation of mindful self-observation. Take notice of what is, feel it, and then make a choice that’s in alignment with your purpose and values.
Can you accept your limitations with tenderness? One of the things I teach all of my clients is that they don’t need to be fixed. There’s nothing wrong with them. This good and bad/right and wrong approach to life results in judgment, which I’ve mentioned, gets in the way of observation.
Observing, without judgment, allows you to be in the moment, to mindfully explore your body sensations and the emotions behind them. Then after observing these, you can assess what is serving you in this stage of your life and either accept or reject a course of action. It allows you to integrate the parts of you that aren’t in balance.
Self-assessment gives you the freedom to be who you are today, with joy. You won’t need to be someone you’re not. If you don’t like something about yourself, you can nudge yourself into being a better version of who you fundamentally are already.
Become comfortable with your strengths and find ways to compensate for your weaknesses. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. Compensating means building support systems of people who supply what you lack.
Let go of the incessant drive to transform yourself into someone you’re not. See what’s possible and what is not, at the present time. If you see it’s possible in the future, look for what you can do today and tomorrow to get you closer to that goal. However, if something is beyond you, mourn it. Mourning your limitations releases any guilt or shame you might have about them, bringing you closer to full acceptance.
Through self-love, we value our unique way of making life better for ourselves and others. When we know that we’re worthy of love, we find ourselves worthy of all aspects of the human experience – good health, fulfilling relationships, and satisfying careers.
We, as humans, thrive on challenge. It’s how we see who we really are. Dare to dream. Step out of your comfort zone. Explore and have an adventure. Believe in abundance. Look for opportunities. Focus on building a better tomorrow. Do what matters most.
When you always believe in yourself, you glow from within. That fire inside you attracts people who love, respect, and appreciate your energy. There will be times that people don’t appreciate you speaking your truth. That’s their choice. Stick to your boundaries and hold yourself and others accountable.
If you find it hard to always believe in yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). I’d love to partner with you and help you achieve everything you’ve always dreamed of.