Afraid to Choose Your Path? The Surprisingly Easy Way to Embrace It Is…

“We’re not lost. We’re just headed somewhere different.” ~ Emily X.R. Pan

Who am I, where am I. and how did I get here? These are questions we ask when we begin Stepping Forward into the life we want to create. However, I have to be honest with you… it’s likely you’ve been conditioned by your stories and limiting beliefs to believe in an inauthentic version of yourself. Yes, your true self may be buried so deeply she’s a total stranger to you. That’s why I want to share with you a way for you to .choose your path, while still maintaining a feeling of control and anticipation. And I promise it’s going to be easier than you think.

First off, know that it’s normal to feel resistance, because you’re leaving a path that you’ve been on for possibly decades. For some this will be very difficult. I”m happy to see that the women I’ve been working with lately have a little bit of a RENEGADE in them. Is that true of you, too?

Being a RENEGADE or being WAYWARD has often had a negative connotation. However, the new spin I’m encouraging you to embrace is that of someone “disposed to go counter to the wishes or advice of others.”  When you think about it…that’s a really good thing! It’s part of maturing and finding yourself. You don’t want to be a clone of someone else. The world needs to see your uniqueness!

Wayward women like to go their own way — and they often take the unexpected path, ignore others’ advice, go against the grain and are self-willed. Most women have a deep instinct of creating their own path, as they deviate from their family, break the rules, and develop something new.

Although risky, the most rewarding path is often the road less traveled, the path that people don’t take because it’s terrifying. But fear doesn’t have to stop you, when you approach your new path intentionally and mindfully, one baby step at a time. You can ease into it rather than leap from a cliff. 

“You can make anything more attainable by making it smaller”. 

~ Maria Connolly, Neways Center

The goal isn’t to eliminate the feeling of fear. The goal is to accept that feeling and work with it, learning to trust yourself and the process. The goal is maintaining inner peace, while learning to tolerate insecurity or difficult emotions. You can do this by focusing on doing better, not on feeling better. 

What is the reward, when you choose your path mindfully and intentionally?

Of course, there’s a cost when you choose your path. AsPriya Ardis.said, “But remember, nothing comes without a price. Our paths are not mapped; they’re made.” Count the cost and determine if each step is worth the effort, time and expense — relationship-wise, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. Learning to listen to your body wisdom will help you do this.

And I’ll let you in on a secret…you’ll spend less energy and experience less wear-and-tear on your emotions, when you stop fighting what you know is right for you. 

I encourage you to write out a roadmap of where you are and where you want to go. Not just of actions to take, but of attitudes to adjust.  Make notes on your roadmap for each pivotal action it will take to get you to your destination. 

Some of these pivotal actions won’t become apparent until you’re in the process of moving forward. This image shows the GOLD Standard of what you can achieve!

The only person who defines and determines your destiny is you. How so?

You are responsible for managing your thoughts and actions. It’s up to you to  keep them positive and productive. No excuses allowed!

It’s your choice to listen to defeatist speech from yourself or others. I recommend that you reject it!

The rules for life that your community or family sets aren’t the only rules available. Broaden your horizons and see what works best for you, which may mean challenging social norms. Nothing can be more disheartening than settling into a choice you later regret.

A practice of mindfulness will help you stop and consider every step along your journey. You’ll be present for each moment, giving you time to consider your choices carefully. Then you can live in harmony with your intentions, rather than being pushed accidentally down a path by others.

In order to choose your path and stay on it, you must connect with yourself deeply. The more you embrace your new identity, the easier it becomes to chart your course.

Are you ready to depart from the old map that so many women have unwittingly followed, as illustrated above? I’m currently refining my new Stepping Forward Program, which is designed to help you replace it with a new map that supports you on your journey to the future you want to create for yourself. Please download the Introduction to Stepping Forward today.

Thank you for the opening photo Caique Silva.