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Posts Tagged ‘Self’-Love’

Learn How to Love Yourself As You Are Right Now

If you don’t know how to love yourself, you’ll never be able to cultivate wellness and balance or make deep and lasting changes, so try these 50 suggestions“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ~ Lucille Ball

“Calgon, take me away!” Do you remember that commercial where a stressed-out woman was able to relax and restore her balance by soaking in a warm, sudsy bathtub?

What was outstanding about this ad was that it gave over-worked women permission to indulge in a simple act of self-care.

Isn’t that a sad commentary about the society we live in? That we need permission? We’re driven by the media to do more, be more, have more. Intimating that what we have and who we aren’t isn’t enough.

On the other hand, it’s refreshing to realize that a bit of self-love can begin to change the quality of our lives. In fact, as counter-intuitive as it may seem, in order to make lasting changes we need to start by accepting where and who we are first.

The way you treat yourself informs others as to how they should treat you. Equally how you treat others reflects on how you feel about yourself. When you make a practice of seeing and verbalizing the good you see in others, then oftentimes you can more easily see the good in yourself.

Do you feel the need of more self-love? Then pick one of the following suggestions and implement it today.

How to love yourself:

  1. Look for and put into grateful words (verbally or in a journal) the good you see in yourself every day.
  2. Make a daily practice of complimenting the good you see in others.
  3. Celebrate your gifts. “I make the world more beautiful because of my…”
  4. Point out the gifts you see in others. “You make my life richer because…”
  5. Ask yourself, “Is this kind and is it true?” when self-talk brings you down.
  6. Do an act of kindness every day.
  7. Don’t think in absolutes – “You never…” “You always…”
  8. Look for what you can do rather than focusing on what you can’t.
  9. Be present in each moment and notice how it makes you feel.
  10. Don’t be in a hurry, slow down and really connect with others.
  11. Maintain your optimism and see the good in every situation.
  12. Every day do your best and honor yourself for it.
  13. Practice self-assessment not judgment.
  14. View life as a journey and enjoy the trip.
  15. Recognize that mistakes are opportunities to learn and correct your course.
  16. Don’t impute bad motives to others; see their good intentions.
  17. Reword self-criticism with positive affirmations.
  18. See your progress. “Wow, a year ago I couldn’t have done that!”
  19. Take responsibility for the consequences of your actions, make amends if necessary, and then move on.
  20. Don’t hold grudges but forgive others freely, never letting a grievance fester.
  21. Forgive yourself. No one is perfect, not even you.
  22. Acknowledge and express your feelings without making accusations.
  23. Set boundaries and honor them.
  24. Stand by your convictions.
  25. Don’t be sucked into other people’s drama.
  26. Let go of trying to control every outcome.
  27. Keep in mind the results you want and let it unfold.
  28. Dignify others with their right to decide. It’s not on you.
  29. Cultivate patience, acceptance and courage.
  30. Share yourself with others and be willing to be vulnerable.
  31. Avoid comparing yourself to anyone else.  
  32. Nurture your soul and make time for things that make you happy.
  33. Care for your mind, limit your exposure to bad news, and never stop learning.
  34. Exercise, nourish and respect your body.
  35. Stop self-destructive habits.
  36. Get toxins out of your environment – chemicals or relationships.
  37. Get plenty of sleep.
  38. Schedule time to pamper yourself.
  39. Do more of what fuels your joy in living.
  40. Follow your dreams.
  41. Don’t settle.
  42. Strive for excellence and competence, not perfection.
  43. Surround yourself with people who build you up and inspire you.
  44. Invest in your future and hire a life coach to mentor you.
  45. Keep your inner child alive and foster your sense of wonder and curiosity.
  46. Have fun! 
  47. Find your place of solitude and regularly listen to yourself. 
  48. Be true to who you are. 
  49. Don’t listen to who the world tries to tell you to be.
  50. Keep your sense of humor.

Did you see some areas that could use improvement? The old adage is true, “Practice makes perfect.” So, think about ways to make self-love part of your daily routine. When you learn how to love yourself you will be cultivating wellness on every level and enhancing your efforts to make positive changes.

Please feel free to schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation so we can explore your options. I’m happy to meet in-person, by phone or via Skype.

Do You Love Yourself Enough? Here are 25 Signs You Don’t…

Here are 25 signs that you may not love yourself enough, which is foundational for building a happy, successful life filled with close relationships and joyAs a preteen, did you ever use a daisy to predict if a boy liked you? As you plucked a petal you said, “He loves me.” Then, for the next petal, “He loves me not.”

Kind of sweet but silly, wasn’t it?

Looking back, I think it would have served us better to focus on whether, “I love me or I love me not.” That’s the real foundation for how we live our lives. And it’s often something we don’t get entirely right because of what life throws at us.

Self-love is knowing and accepting that you deserve as much love and affection as anyone else on earth. It means taking care of your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs with kindness. Sad to say, many people don’t treat themselves very well.

However, it’s vital that you love yourself enough. No it’s not selfish or narcissistic or egotistical! If you don’t love yourself, you won’t respect, value or honor yourself. You won’t be happy. Why? Because if you don’t love yourself, what’s the alternative? Indifference. Self-hate. Self-loathing.

If you don’t love yourself, you won’t take proper care of yourself or be happy. This may manifest itself in the following ways:

  1. You feel bad about taking time for yourself.
  2. You tell yourself you’re not good, pretty or smart enough.
  3. You apologize continually for things that don’t need an apology.
  4. You put everyone else first at the expense of your own needs and wants.
  5. You compare yourself unfavorably to others.
  6. You need permission to make self-care a priority.
  7. You feel guilty about spending money on fun things.
  8. You pack your schedule so full because you can’t stand quiet.
  9. You have no idea what your purpose is or what sets your soul on fire.
  10. You need to know what others decide before you make a decision.
  11. You beat yourself up for past failings.
  12. You think you have no gifts or talents or you play them down.
  13. You’re self-critical, only seeing your flaws and feeling unworthy.
  14. You lack self-confidence, so you never try anything that feels risky.
  15. You find it very difficult to stand up for yourself.
  16. You avoid introspection and soul searching.
  17. You blame circumstances or someone else, never seeing your contribution to a problem.
  18. You often say, “I can’t”.
  19. You need others to validate you – “I’m nothing if he doesn’t approve of me”.
  20. You hide your feelings and thoughts so people don’t know the “real” you.
  21. You feel like you’re just existing and getting by.
  22. You keep punishing yourself over the past.
  23. You neglect your health and appearance.
  24. You quit learning and improving because you think, “What’s the use?”
  25. You can’t trust your gut or intuition as you second-guess yourself.

This list is by no means comprehensive, but you may see the tendency toward viewing yourself negatively. Even well-adjusted persons may experience a twinge or two as they read it. We all have a past that follows us in adulthood. We’re all a work in process.

If you’re not treating yourself with the love you deserve, I’d love to help you discover practical ways for achieving greater self-awareness and self-love. I know how scary this can be, but we can do this together. I’ll be sharing some ways to get started in my next blog post.

Please contact me and schedule an “Unlocking Your Potential” 30-minute complimentary consultation (in-person, by phone or via Skype). I’m looking forward to speaking with you soon.

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